Wednesday, March 30, 2011

What's For Dinner?

Everyday on Facebook, I post a status update asking "What's for dinner?".   I was doing this for a few weeks when it came to my attention that a few people thought I was bragging about how I make these fantastic meals for my family.    They weren't being mean about it at all, it was just a comment here and there that made me realize that people were taking it the wrong way.  

The funny thing is, boy were they ever taking it the wrong way because I am about as far from Julia Child as you can possibly get.  In fact, it's a joke in my family that I am missing the "chef" gene.  My sister went to college and majored in culinary arts and can cook or bake anything.   She is fantastic and I am the complete opposite. 

For my bridal shower many years ago, someone attached a wire whisk to my present.  When my sister (who was my maid of honor) handed me that gift I sat there puzzled because I was trying to figure out what that thing was that was attached to my gift.  Was it someone's idea of a joke?  Was it some sort of "toy" (and you know what I mean because I also received a gift of naughty underwear at that same shower)?  I must have sat there for some time because my sister finally whispered "It's a wire whisk, you use it to cook".    Yeah, I had NO clue. 

So, when I am posting my "What's for dinner?" status update everyday at 4 or 5pm, I am actually looking for dinner ideas.   I am stuck in this rut where it seems like I just make the same few dishes that I can make decent over and over again.   Now that I stay at home and actually attempt to cook everyday for my family, those same dishes get really old fast.  I love seeing what other people are having and look back on that as I'm making my meal plans out on Sundays.   So, to those of you who post on my status updates, THANK YOU for participating.  

Am I Being Tested?

Do you ever think that you are being tested?   That is where I am at right now with my third child, Noah or as we call him THE BEAST.   This child is what I call the perfect "Birth Control Child".  That means that if you know someone who is having baby fever or a teenager who loves babies, bring them to my house for a little while and watch The Beast in action and I guarantee they will no longer want children.   I am a little worried because my friend is coming to visit me this weekend and she is pregnant with her first.  I am afraid that two days with The Beast is going to make her regret her decision to become pregnant real fast. 

Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly and of course cannot imagine my life without him (blah, blah, blah) but I do know that without him I would be a much more rested, less high strung mother.   From the day he was born he was screaming bloody murder and constantly moving.   You pick him up and his arms and legs are still going a mile a minute and he is figuring how he can contort his body to get away from you.  He does not normally like to be held and he absolutely does not like to cuddle.   He would have to stop for one second if he did that.   This is the child that you cannot take your eyes off of for one second or he is into something.   

When I was painting Olivia's bedroom a few weeks ago, a beautiful bubble gum pink color, she came in and left the door open.    Noah was downstairs with Trevor but within a few seconds he was up the stairs and dipping his hands into the paint can smearing his brand new outfit with bubble gum pink paint.   He managed to climb the stairs and come into the room and cover himself in paint in a matter of seconds, no joke.   Another time, I ran upstairs to use the bathroom and when I came down, he was in the kitchen cupboard under the sink and had dumped comet cleanser all over the floor and was just about to scoop a handful into his mouth.   Lovely hey?   I have caught him dumping the cat water all over the floor, eating cat food, dumping the contents of my purse all over the house and he even stole my debit card and lost it.  My theory is he threw it in the garbage when I wasn't looking because he likes to do that.   (I bet daddy trained him how to do that one!)   On St Patricks Day, The Beast decided to get into the holiday spirit by eating not only a green highlighter but a green crayon too.    That was fun a few days later when I had to change a diaper.  

The Beast's favorite thing to do is anything he shouldn't be doing.   If his brother or sister are playing nicely or coloring, he will walk right up to them and do whatever he can to annoy them.   He will grab something they are playing with and run, smack them in the head with his hand or a toy, pinch them or my favorite, bite them in the butt.   Yep, why did we expect anything less, The Beast is a biter.   He has to sharpen those fangs somehow I guess..   He is also a climber.  I spend most of my day taking him off of things that he shouldn't be on.   The biggest one is the kitchen table.   He likes to climb onto it and play "Donkey Kong" which is throwing things off it onto the floor.  

My favorite thing about The Beast is that he doesn't sleep at night.   It's great because I love to be up all night long and not get any sleep.    It really does good things to your personality and mental state.    I have not gotten one single good night's sleep since December 21st of 2010.   I bet you are jealous right?  The Beast is 14 months old and he still gets up like a newborn.   He goes to bed between 7 and 8pm and then he gets up at 11:30pm, 1:30 or 2am, 4:30am and usually starts to stir for the day at 6am.   If you don't give him a 4 ounce bottle, he screams bloody murder.   We have tried CIO (the Cry it Out) method and the stubborn little sh*t will scream all night long.   He has the worst high pitched scream that makes you shudder.  The Beast even knows math, I have tested him.  If you don't give him exactly a 4 ounce bottle at each awakening, he will throw his bottle across the room and scream until you give him the difference to make 4 ounces.   It's exhausting.   I don't know what to do anymore.  I am tired, I am crabby, I have no tolerance for anyone and I'm sure I am not fun to be around.  

So, those are just a few reasons why I think I am being tested.   The Beast is a very unhappy and busy child.  Of course when we are around other people he is happy as can be so I look like a liar.  But, he is really darn cute and has his brother's killer dimple.   It's a good thing he's cute or I would have probably given him away a long time ago.   

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Infuriating

Does anyone has that show on tv that just makes you so angry but you just can't stop watching it?  That show that you hate to even admit that you watch and when you do watch it, you scream at the tv like a maniac?   Well I do.  Surprising hey?   That show is SISTER WIVES on TLC. 

In case you are not familiar with the show it is about a man named Kody Brown who is a polygomist.   In the begining he is married to three women and has a total of 16 children.   They all live together in the same house in Utah but the house is seperated into sections with each wife living in one.  Kody gets to rotate with whom he stays with each night.   Then, halfway into the season, "they" and I use that term loosely, decide to take on another wife, Robyn.   She is young and somewhat attractive (especially compared to the other wives) and is a divorced mother of 3.   By the end of the first season, they are married and Kody and his three "sister wives" are one big happy family with a total of 19 children.

OMG just describing that to you makes me shake in anger.   This show bothers me for so many reasons.   The main thing is, what they are doing is illegal.  You are not allowed to be married to more than one person at a time and here is this man not only breaking the law but advertising it on national tv.  To me, that is his arrogance and self absorbed personality shining through.  He is basically telling the world, look at me, I can do what I want and get away with it.    Then, when they become under investigation for breaking the law and taking part in polygomy, they don't understand why the authorities won't leave them alone and why they are trying to tear apart their family.    Then, Kody makes it well known to his wives that he would not be ok if they took on more husbands.  That is such a double standard, this guy is a major douchebag.    I don't just think that Kody is an idiot, I think these wives are even dumber.  What kind of woman would put herself in that situation?   Most of them have alienated their entire family and jeopardized their children's futures to take part in this great big "love fest".   You can tell that there are so many issues with jealousy that they try to hide and say are ok but it's really not. 

I just don't get it.  I don't want to get it.   Trevor laughs at me when I watch it and scream naughty things at the tv and sit and roll my eyes at everything everyone says on that show but I just can't help it.   And you can bet I won't stop watching it.    I feel the same way about 19 Kids and Counting but that's a whole other post.

Dancing With The Stars: Week 2

I have to admit, I never in a million years thought this show would actually last this long.  But it has and I watch it and I secretly love it.   It's different and I think that's why it has lastest.   Who doesn't want to to watch and wish they could get all dressed up and dance in those awesome costumes.   Especially the men costumes right?   LOL

Last night Len was in rare form wasn't he?   Did you notice that he seemed to score at least one point lower than the other two for every contestant?   Oh and Chris Brown is preforming tonight on the elimination show?  Really?  Why is that guy still around?   He is a poor example of a human being therefore I feel he should be banned from the entertainment industry.   What kind of roll model is he?   Anyway - here is my take on the contestants from last night:

Chelsey Kane and Mark danced the Jive.   I have no clue who this celebrity is and my kids watch the Disney Channel and I still have no clue who she is.   I have no vested interest in her so I really don't care if they stay or go.  Their preformance was dull and I was bored by it.   But, their costumes were terrible and the make up was freaky, too mime like, especially Mark's.   I am terrified of clowns and mime's so that didn't score any points with mel.   On their make up alone I kind of hope they get eliminated tonight.  They rec'd an 18 from the judges.

Wendy Williams and Tony danced the Quickstep.  She looked like she was having fun but was scared to death.   I really don't have a ton of interest in them either.  I thought their dance was ok, nothing special but not terrible either.    The judges gave them a 17.

Hines Ward and Kym danced the Quickstep.  Again, I had no clue who this guy was, I didn't watch the Superbowl (I was stuck at the walk in clinic with Jack) and am not a football fan.    He is the typical football player contestant so I anticipate he'll go pretty far.    But I'm indifferent, he just doesn't have a ton of personality in my opinion   The judges gave them a 23.

Petra Nemcova and Dmity dance a Jive.   I wonder if enough people know who she is to get her some votes to last through the first week, I just don't know.  I thought the dance was really cute and she is gorgeous, almost to the point where you want to hate her but she seems really sweet and has an amazing story.   If you don't know her story, look her up, she survived a Tsuami and lost her fiance to it.  The judges gave them an 18.

Romeo and Chelsea danced the Quickstep.  I really don't have anything good or bad to say about these two but I think they'll go far.  They got a 23 from the judges.

Sugar Ray and Anna danced the Jive.   Let me just tell you, I adore Anna.   I love her name and I go around the house saying it over and over the entire time that DWTS is on.   It's an awesome name.  Despite Len saying they are in jeopardy, I want them to stay, he's fun to watch.    But, did you notice that Anna was holding up 7 fingers for the voting number but their number is 6?  lol  The judges gave them a 17.

Kendra Wilkinson and Louie danced the Quickistep.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Kendra.  I couldn't stand her on The Girls Next Door but love her on her own show.  Plus our babies are a month apart so I feel like I have something in common with her.   What I liked last night was how she showed how insecure she is, you would never believe it.   She was a little stiff and uncomfortable last night but I think that she'll go on.  I loved her hair last night, I don't think I've ever seen it up.   But, what the heck was with her partner's fluffy hairdo?  So strange.  They got a 19 from the judges.

Ralph Macchino and Karina danced the Jive.   For some reason I find it so strange that he is on this show, he doesn't seem as old as he is at all, he looks so young.   Who knew the Karate Kid could dance so well?   It must be all the training he received from the little Korean guy right?   I kind of feel like it's time for Karina to get a good partner and have a shot at winning, she works really hard.   I think they are in it until the end.   The judges gave them a 21.

Chris Jericho and Cheryl danced the Quickstep.   I cannot stand her, because of this who ever she is paired with automatically becomes my least favorite.   It's childish and stupid I know, but that's the way it is.   She looked stupid last night and just annoys me.  I hope they get voted off first.   They got a 23 from the judges.

Mike Catherwood and Lacie danced the Jive.  I had no clue who this guy was either but I really like him.  It was fun and I enjoyed watching it.   My husband has a huge crust on Lacie and would have loved her outfit last night, pretty small and sexy, too bad he was out of town and missed it.   I really hope they stick around for awhile.   The judges gave them a 17.

Kirstie Alley and Maks danced the Quickstep.   I wonder if they purposely gave him the "fat chick" just to piss him off.  He seems like such a douchebag but he's not acting that way this season.   He is actually being really nice to her and it shocks me.   They have chemisty that I never thought would happen and I really like watching them dance.   I really hope they stick around for awhile.   She looked awesome last night.   You can have some meat on your bones and still be beautiful and she was beautiful last night.   They received a 20 from the judges.

As for who is leaving tonight, my guess is Petra.   It just seems like in the past, the supermodel's haven't lastest very long.  Their fans must not watch the show.  

Monday, March 28, 2011

Once Upon A Beast

Our life used to be normal.  Heck, our life used to be somewhat easy.   We had a little girl and a little boy.   According to my husband, we were done.  I had a nagging feeling inside that maybe I wasn't "done" and after having had Jackson in March of '07, I chickened out of getting something permanent done.   That single decision right there changed our lives forever.  

Fast forward to the summer of '09.  In May, I went to Las Vegas with some friends and went on a four day bender.  One weekend I went to a friend's house and when I got home, I threw up.   Now when I throw up, it usually only means one thing, that I was pregnant.   That just could not be possible since I was using the NuvaRing.   Yeah maybe I wanted one more but not right now, I was thinking more like when Jackson was 4, not 2.

I decided to go out and buy a test and take it.   I swear to you that before I even soaked liquid onto that stick, there was a flaming bright red line showing that I was pregnant.   Instantly I started screaming a naughty word and threw the pregnancy test across the bathroom hitting the wall with it.   I could not believe what I was about to have to go through.   Trevor came into the bathroom and just calmly said "I guess I don't have to ask what the result was right?".  

Yes a baby is a blessing and especially since I was diagnosed with stage 2/3 endometroisis before having Olivia.  I also suffered a horrible loss in 2003 when we lost our baby girl in the second triamester.   But, I have terrible pregnancies.  I get what is called hyperemisis.   That basically means that I get EXTREME morning sickness.   The kind of morning sickness that puts me in the hospital on IV fluids and I am unable to eat or drink for days.   On an average day for me I throw up about 10-20 times while pregnant.  It's not fun and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  With Jackson, I was in the hospital on 2 bags of IV Fluids every two days for the entire 9 months.  I knew what was coming and I was in full panic mode because not only did I have two other children to care for but a very stressful job. 

The Beast turned out to be a major pain in the butt from inside the womb.  I had multiple subchoronic hemorrages as well as the hyperemis for the entire time of the pregnancy.  I was on bedrest a few times and that was horrible.   We made it 30 weeks and I was set to go on vacation for Christmas.  I tied up loose ends at work (I was a foreclosure counselor) and went into the dr that morning for an appt to be checked to make sure I was ok to travel the 10 hours home to Michigan.    The dr checked me and I was fine but since I delivered the first baby early and Olivia came 4 weeks early, he sent me with a copy of my records just in case.   We were set to leave at 5am the next morning, two days before Christmas.   At 1am I rolled over in bed and was instantly soaked with liquid.   I thought to myself "Did I really just pee my pants?"  I called the hospital and they told me to come in to get the fluid tested and as soon as I sat on the table my water broke completely.   I was 31 weeks along, this cannot be happening.   Plus, we lived in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere at the time that was not set up for premature labors or babies needing the NICU.  My dr came in and said "You know I have to send you away right?".  The closest hospital was in Grand Forks, North Dakota which was 2 hours away  but they couldn't take me.  The next closest hospital was Fargo, North Dakota and so I was bundled up like a mummy and sent on my way via plane. 

I was a little skeptical about where I was being taken because when we entered the hospital, the admissions people asked who the patient was.  Really?   You don't think the person on the gurney surrounded by nurses and wrapped up like a mummy attached to wires and monitors could possibly be the patient?   Then, she asked if my OB Nurse was my mother......I have to admit, I was a little afraid.  LOL  

I was checked in, examined, ultrasounded and we then found out that I was to stay there until the Beast decided to arrive.   Keep in mind, I still had 9 weeks to go and I was four hours away from my family....did I mention it was Christmas?   They weren't going to stop labor if it started but they were going to do their very best to prevent it.   I am not the type of person who likes to sit still, bedrest is pure torture for me but there I was in the hospital on bedrest.  We were having a terrible snowstorm so I sent Trevor home to be with the kids over Christmas.  

I spent almost three weeks in that hospital getting to get up to shower and go to the bathroom.  A few really kind nurses would take me for a wheelchair ride once a day if they had time.   I realized that if the baby came out, he would more than likely need a feeding tube and respirator but I didn't care, I wanted him out and I wanted out of that place.   I was so miserable, it was then I came up with Noah's first nickname "Lucifer".   I begged Lucifer to come out everyday and googled ways to induce labor.   I tried everything I could and even tried to order Castor Oil on my lunch tray.  (Let me tell you that did not go over well with the dietician...lol.  She had to come up and have a talk with me)   I finally had a breakdown one day and told the nurse on duty that I was going to cut this baby out with my butter knife from lunch.   The next day the on call dr came in and spoke to me.  Up until that point, no dr would examine me or do more than ask how I was feeling because of the risk of infection.   I had lost all of my amniotic fluid and everything that would remake would come right out.  That wonderful dr examined me and I was induced that day, almost 7 weeks early.  

I had been dead set on having a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After C-Section).  My C-Section with Jackson was less than enjoyable and I was terrified of having another.   But, even that didn't work out for me.  With every single contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop lower and lower.   They finally decided to take me in for a C-Section but we were waiting for Trevor to get there, he had to drive the 4 hours to get there.   He made it there just as they couldn't wait any longer and were wheeling me out of the room.  Noah Andrew LaJoye aka Lucifer aka The Beast was born on January 5, 2010 at 1:51pm weighing in at 5 pounds, 14 ounces and 18 inches long.   He came out screaming bloody murder and moving all around and hasn't stopped a day since.

I have provided this little back story for those of you who feel sorry for Noah and the fact that we refer to him as "The Beast".   As you will learn, he is well deserving of his nickname and has been from the very begining.   Plus, it could be worse, I started out calling him Lucifer.