My daughter once came home from school in tears because she had her first "embarrassing moment". It was kindergarten so I really didn't think too much about it but she was really upset. It turns out she wore her pants backward one day to school. Someone noticed and pointed it out. Olivia is a lot like me, we are control freaks and we like to be in control of every situation, no matter what it is. She hates to be embarrassed. So, to make her feel better, we called family members and asked them something embarrassing that happened to them. She of course turned on me and asked me. I started to laugh and asked her, which one? I am super clutsy and have fallen in public many times, burnt myself in random places with the curling iron, etc. Since I'm being brave here, I will share a few of my "Most Embarrassing Moments" with you all.
- When I was in college I was in Phi Sigma Sigma sorority. Anyway, a few of my sorority sisters and I would go to a local bar on Monday nights and line dance. Line dancing was cool in the late 90's so we were hardcore line dancers. Anyway, one of our favorite songs and kind of a private joke in our sorority was the song "Strokin'" by Clarence Carter. If you know the song, it's not exactly the most PG song out there. Anyway, one Monday night we were out dancing and the song came on in the bar. We all ran out there and started dancing. About halfway thru the song, my left knee shot out in the most horrific pain I had ever felt (well in that point of my life) and I instantly fell to the ground. All of my sorority sisters thought I was laughing so they just kind of kept dancing and pointing and laughing too. After a few minutes of me convulsing on the floor, they realized that I was hurt. It turns out that I had to go to the ER because my knee cap popped out of joint. Nice hey? I was in a brace for weeks and it took a lot of time to heal. Like that wasn't embarrassing enough right? The next week, I went back to the bar to kind of show the owners that I was ok, all I could do was sit at the table all night but it was still nice to get out. Then, the DJ decided to play the song "Strokin'" and dedicate it to me, Lisa, the girl who last week Stroked it a Little Too Hard. Yeah, now I'm known as the girl who stroked it too hard. LOL
- In High School I went to a pig roast at one of my friend's houses with my group that I hung out with. The guys decided that it would be funny to try and scare people with the head of the pig. Well, I happen to be the lucky one who was seated right underneath the window in my friend's bedroom when they threw the pig head inside the room. I remember feeling the curtains move above my head and then something heavy land in my lap. I looked down to see two beady little eyes staring straight at me. I screamed bloody murder, I don't think I have ever screamed so loud in my life. I had a f*cking pig head in my lap - wouldn't you scream too? I still remember that moment so clearly and shudder. I have a severe fear of pigs because of that moment. Then, for the rest of my senior year, the guys thought it would be funny to tape pictures of pigs to my locker.
-When I met my friend Jen, I was 7 months pregnant with Jackson. My pregnancy with him was awful, I threw up everyday and was on two bags of IV fluids every two days just to keep my energy up. I had such a hard time eating. But, we decided to meet for lunch right after we met (at my husband's company Christmas party) at the only restaurant in town. Right in the middle of eating my sandwich, I had the urge to throw up. I got up and ran to try and make it to the restroom in time but I didn't. There is a hallway right past the hostess that leads to the restroom. I made it past the hostess and vomited all down that hallway, all the way into the bathroom. It was horrible, it was everywhere. I was so embarrassed to 1) tell the hostess that I threw up all over the place and 2) go back and sit down to finish lunch with Jen covered in vomit. She was so nice about it and we are still friends to this day. But what a way to make a first impression hey?
Monday, April 11, 2011
Kid's Birthday Parties
I am a total freak when it comes to birthday parties, ok well, parties of any kind. In my family I am known as the "outrageous" one. I don't do anything simple, I am not capable of it, it's a sickness. I know it and I'm aware of it. I am trying to be better about it. I always tend to go a little overboard with my kids birthday parties and it annoys my husband to no end. This year, I have been really good with the boys parties - granted they have both had two each, but at least they were small ones right?
When Olivia turned one, we were living in Roseau which is a tiny town in the middle of nowhere about 10 hours away from our hometown and family in Michigan. So, this was pretty much the first time a lot of our family met our dear diva. I went crazy for her party, probably also because she was my first. I had custom invitations made and a special "year of Olivia" collage (made by my friend Karyn) to put in each one:
We rented a hall back home and invited over 50 people to this party. Her cake was amazing, it was actually a wedding cake, it was light purple stacked presents with a huge white bow on the top. She had a small smash cake for herself (which she barely touched because heaven forbid my little princess get her hands dirty - HUGE disappointment for a first time mom anxiously awaiting her child to "smash" into her cake) and a gorgeous pink party dress (that was more like a flower girl dress). We had a ton of food and a lot of family and friends came to celebrate - heck I didn't even know a bunch of them because they were people my parents invited. I took a ton of pictures and have them all in a beautiful album but of course Olivia is NEVER going to remember this party. Here is a picture of Olivia in her outfit:
I did basically the same thing for Jackson for his first birthday - rented the hall, invited the world, had a huge cake, etc. Jackson did not disappoint me in the cake department, I knew he was a good eater and would love sweets so I ordered him a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting in hopes that he would smash his cake all over the place. Being so mellow and mild mannered, it took some coaxing but he eventually did it - it was everywhere. He smeared it in his diaper and his hair.
Anyway, for The Beast this year I just did two small parties - one in Michigan and one here. There was nothing fancy about them, not a ton of people and both done at houses. It killed me, I felt like I was treating him differently than I did the other two by not throwing him a big party. But, it was fun and we had a great time and he didn't know a thing that was going on. Well, other than he got cake and he loved it.
Now it comes time for my little princess to have her birthday party again this year. When I asked her what she wanted to do theme wise - she tells me that she wants an African Safari in our backyard. I guess there goes the idea of cutting back and making the parties smaller hey? Off to figure out what I'm going to do to hold an African Safari in our backyard......
When Olivia turned one, we were living in Roseau which is a tiny town in the middle of nowhere about 10 hours away from our hometown and family in Michigan. So, this was pretty much the first time a lot of our family met our dear diva. I went crazy for her party, probably also because she was my first. I had custom invitations made and a special "year of Olivia" collage (made by my friend Karyn) to put in each one:
We rented a hall back home and invited over 50 people to this party. Her cake was amazing, it was actually a wedding cake, it was light purple stacked presents with a huge white bow on the top. She had a small smash cake for herself (which she barely touched because heaven forbid my little princess get her hands dirty - HUGE disappointment for a first time mom anxiously awaiting her child to "smash" into her cake) and a gorgeous pink party dress (that was more like a flower girl dress). We had a ton of food and a lot of family and friends came to celebrate - heck I didn't even know a bunch of them because they were people my parents invited. I took a ton of pictures and have them all in a beautiful album but of course Olivia is NEVER going to remember this party. Here is a picture of Olivia in her outfit:
I did basically the same thing for Jackson for his first birthday - rented the hall, invited the world, had a huge cake, etc. Jackson did not disappoint me in the cake department, I knew he was a good eater and would love sweets so I ordered him a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting in hopes that he would smash his cake all over the place. Being so mellow and mild mannered, it took some coaxing but he eventually did it - it was everywhere. He smeared it in his diaper and his hair.
Anyway, for The Beast this year I just did two small parties - one in Michigan and one here. There was nothing fancy about them, not a ton of people and both done at houses. It killed me, I felt like I was treating him differently than I did the other two by not throwing him a big party. But, it was fun and we had a great time and he didn't know a thing that was going on. Well, other than he got cake and he loved it.
Now it comes time for my little princess to have her birthday party again this year. When I asked her what she wanted to do theme wise - she tells me that she wants an African Safari in our backyard. I guess there goes the idea of cutting back and making the parties smaller hey? Off to figure out what I'm going to do to hold an African Safari in our backyard......
Thursday, April 7, 2011
People Never Cease To Amaze Me
There is someone out there who is reading my blog who obviously doesn't appreciate it. I went to post my last blog that I wrote to facebook and wasn't allowed to because I got a message from Facebook saying that it was reported as "Abusive" and is being blocked. Really? So, to that person who reported me to Facebook, GET A F*CKING LIFE. How about that as abusive. What is so bad about my blog and expressing myself that is upseting you so much. Be a grown up and send me a personal message if you have issues or a problem with me like adults do or better yet, don't read my blog or delete me off of facebook all together.
Nothing gets me more than fake people. I would much rather if someone doesn't like me for them to not pretend they do. I realize that not everyone is going to love and adore me and I'm totally ok with that. I don't need the whole world to like me to go on with my life. I am the type of person who if I don't like someone, they pretty much know it. I'm not to going to be mean or rude to you unless you give me a reason, but I am not going to go out of my way to be nice to you either. There is no point. The world would be a much easier place if everyone stopped being so fake. It's so much easier when you know where you stand with someone.
Things like this are why I have trust issues. It's obviously someone on my "friend" list who reported it.
Nothing gets me more than fake people. I would much rather if someone doesn't like me for them to not pretend they do. I realize that not everyone is going to love and adore me and I'm totally ok with that. I don't need the whole world to like me to go on with my life. I am the type of person who if I don't like someone, they pretty much know it. I'm not to going to be mean or rude to you unless you give me a reason, but I am not going to go out of my way to be nice to you either. There is no point. The world would be a much easier place if everyone stopped being so fake. It's so much easier when you know where you stand with someone.
Things like this are why I have trust issues. It's obviously someone on my "friend" list who reported it.
15 Month Dr Visit and Decisions....
Yesterday I took the Beast to the pediatrician for his 15 month wellness check. It went pretty well and I didn't get lectured like I thought I would. I swear in order to be a dr you have to be bi-polar. The very things that the dr was concerned with at his 12 month appointment were no big deal at his 15 month appointment. All that anxiety I had was for nothing. I hate that.
Noah weighed in at 23 pounds and 6.2 ounces which isn't bad since he started out being so little. His length was 30 inches which is only the 10th percentile. He is short and because he's short, he looks so fat but he's really not. His head circumference was 18.4 which is in the 36th percentile. He got three shots which he was not pleased about. The nurse holding him down couldn't believe how mad he gets, that he actually holds his breath for so long when he's mad. Oh well, he got over it. He's a little crabby today but really what else is new right?
The Beast is still not talking, not at all. He doesn't say "mama" or "dada" or "baba", he doesn't even try. Apparently at this point he should be saying at the very least three words. He doesn't even try, I say "mama" all day long and he just looks at me like I am insane. Don't get me wrong, he certainly isn't silent all day, he jabbers all day long, you just need a translator to figure out what language he's speaking. He will walk up to you and jabber a big long sentance and then look at you like you are stupid when you don't understand what he's saying. My theory is that he is just a stubborn little stinker. When you yell at him or tell him "No", most of the time he doesn't even bother to respond to you either. The dr said that if he isn't saying 10 words by 18 months, he will have to take the next step which would be a hearing test and refering him on to Early Intervention.
The dr also had a theory on his "bad behaviors". His theory is because he was premature. How that goes hand in hand I don't understand but it kind of works on the kids in our family. Jackson who is my close to perfect child was on time, he didn't want to come out. Then, there is Olivia who is a little bit like Noah but not as bad, she was 4 weeks early. So, maybe there is a connection, who knows. He said to pick the top 4 behaviors that irritate me. Then, set up a pack-n-play and put him on a "time out" everytime he does those four things. I have chosen: Climbing up on the table/chairs, pinching, biting and turning the tv on and off. So, after awhile of doing that, I should start at night when he wakes up. If he won't go back to sleep without a bottle, to put him in the pack-n-play so he starts associating waking up so many times a night with bad behavior. I really don't think this is going to help but it's worth a try. I'm desperate at this point to get some sleep. I keep tellling Trevor that I'm going to run away and just sleep for a weekend in a hotel or something.
The dr didn't seem to care that he was still taking a bottle either. Funny because he was so worried about it at his last appt.
On another note, Jackson left a marker out on the table. When I went upstairs to put some towels away, The Beast climbed up on the table and attacked himself with it. So, he is now a lovely shade of teal blue. He had it EVERYWHERE, all in his mouth, around his mouth, all over both of his hands, his face, etc. One thing about me is that I can't stand it when kids write all over themselves. It's that one thing that puts me over the edge. I scrubbed him for 15 minutes and couldn't get it off so I went outside and let out a huge scream. That felt a little better. When he gets up from a nap I'm going to put him in the tub and wash him with baby oil and some other things people have suggested.
There is never a dull moment with the Beast around. Sigh
Noah weighed in at 23 pounds and 6.2 ounces which isn't bad since he started out being so little. His length was 30 inches which is only the 10th percentile. He is short and because he's short, he looks so fat but he's really not. His head circumference was 18.4 which is in the 36th percentile. He got three shots which he was not pleased about. The nurse holding him down couldn't believe how mad he gets, that he actually holds his breath for so long when he's mad. Oh well, he got over it. He's a little crabby today but really what else is new right?
The Beast is still not talking, not at all. He doesn't say "mama" or "dada" or "baba", he doesn't even try. Apparently at this point he should be saying at the very least three words. He doesn't even try, I say "mama" all day long and he just looks at me like I am insane. Don't get me wrong, he certainly isn't silent all day, he jabbers all day long, you just need a translator to figure out what language he's speaking. He will walk up to you and jabber a big long sentance and then look at you like you are stupid when you don't understand what he's saying. My theory is that he is just a stubborn little stinker. When you yell at him or tell him "No", most of the time he doesn't even bother to respond to you either. The dr said that if he isn't saying 10 words by 18 months, he will have to take the next step which would be a hearing test and refering him on to Early Intervention.
The dr also had a theory on his "bad behaviors". His theory is because he was premature. How that goes hand in hand I don't understand but it kind of works on the kids in our family. Jackson who is my close to perfect child was on time, he didn't want to come out. Then, there is Olivia who is a little bit like Noah but not as bad, she was 4 weeks early. So, maybe there is a connection, who knows. He said to pick the top 4 behaviors that irritate me. Then, set up a pack-n-play and put him on a "time out" everytime he does those four things. I have chosen: Climbing up on the table/chairs, pinching, biting and turning the tv on and off. So, after awhile of doing that, I should start at night when he wakes up. If he won't go back to sleep without a bottle, to put him in the pack-n-play so he starts associating waking up so many times a night with bad behavior. I really don't think this is going to help but it's worth a try. I'm desperate at this point to get some sleep. I keep tellling Trevor that I'm going to run away and just sleep for a weekend in a hotel or something.
The dr didn't seem to care that he was still taking a bottle either. Funny because he was so worried about it at his last appt.
On another note, Jackson left a marker out on the table. When I went upstairs to put some towels away, The Beast climbed up on the table and attacked himself with it. So, he is now a lovely shade of teal blue. He had it EVERYWHERE, all in his mouth, around his mouth, all over both of his hands, his face, etc. One thing about me is that I can't stand it when kids write all over themselves. It's that one thing that puts me over the edge. I scrubbed him for 15 minutes and couldn't get it off so I went outside and let out a huge scream. That felt a little better. When he gets up from a nap I'm going to put him in the tub and wash him with baby oil and some other things people have suggested.
There is never a dull moment with the Beast around. Sigh
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Beast is 15 Months Old
Today my little Beast turns 15 months old. I cannot believe that 15 months have gone by, but yet I can. Do you know what that means? That really means that I have not gotten a good nights sleep in over 15 months. Wow, that is crazy. I don't know how a person can function with so little sleep. I know that I barely function on a day to day basis anymore.
I used to be organized. Seriously, I used to be so organized when it came to sending out birthday/anniversary cards and especially Thank You cards. Now what happens is I buy them but they never get sent out. Heck, I'm lucky if I remember to call and tell someone thank you for something that the kids or I have gotten. It's terrible and embarrassing. After my wedding I got over 300 thank you cards out in 2 weeks. That will never happen again.
I can't even finish a thought or a sentance anymore. I can be on the phone with someone and halfway through my sentance, I forget what I was saying or I get distracted. My sister can confirm this one - she probably doesn't even like to call here anymore because it's like having a conversation with a 2 year old.
Tomorrow I have to bring him for his 15 month well baby check with his dr. This is going to be F-U-N. Not only does he get shots (it's going to take about 10 of us to hold the little bugger down and 2 to give the shots and then he's going to scream so hard that he holds his breath and turns all red, yep he does that) but I know I am going to get lectured by his dr for 3 things. I know because I got lectured (nicely) by him at his 12 month appointment.
1. The Beast doesn't sleep through the night. At his 12 month appt, the dr said to me "You know, he REALLY (emphasize on Really) needs to be sleeping through the night." Well No Shit Sherlock, you think that I don't wish that more than anything in the whole world. I LOVE getting up every three hours to a high pitched scream, going down the stairs (half asleep and falling at least once a month) to get the Beast a bottle. You think I don't know that he is too old to be wanting milk during the night. You think that I haven't tried to get him to stop. (Heck, tried is an understatement, I've begged, I've pleaded, I've tried to bribe him, I've cried, etc) We have tried to let him CIO (Cry It Out) only to have him scream for 4 hours straight and holding his breath on more than one occassion. This just doesn't work because we have poor Olivia who has to go to school the next morning exhausted from listening to him scream all night, not to mention poor Jack who shares a room with him. Oh and there's Trevor who gets to go to work. I have also tried to give him less milk each time but the kid knows math. Yes, my 15 month old cannot speak but he knows math. If I give him any less than 4 ounces during the night, he drinks it, stands up in his crib and throws the bottle across the room until I get him the remainder to equal 4 ounces. I am fully prepared to tell the dr that he is welcome to take the little shit home with him and get him to sleep thru the night.
2. The Beast still takes a bottle. Yes, he is 15 months old and still has at least 4 bottles a day (and more at night). I am not prepared to make him stop until he is at least 2 years old. That's what I did with my other two and that's what I'm going to do with Noah. (for those of you who don't know, Noah is "the beast"...lol) Most of it is purely selfish, I'm not afraid to admit it. The Beast doesn't like to be held or cuddled. The ONLY time he ever sits still is when he has a bottle so I am going to enjoy every second of it I can get. Also, I am just not prepared to deal with the fight that it's going to be when I take it away.
3. The Beast still eats babyfood. He is perfectly capable of self feeding, that is not a problem. The problem is he is messy. It is SO much easier to just spoon feed him and save myself from having to clean up the mess that he makes. Also, I know this way he is getting food that is healthy and well balanced (I am not a chef) and it's cheap. I can feed him a whole meal for under $1.00.
When the Beast wakes up it is time to take his 15 month picture. That itself is a fight. Getting him to stay still with a sign that says 15 months above him for enough time to snap a picture is not fun. There are normally tears, not his, mine. I get so frustrated. But, I have done it for the other two kids up to 30 months and I refuse to stop now because he's a BEAST.
So, HAPPY 15 Months to my little BEAST. As much as I don't like you at times, I still love you.
I used to be organized. Seriously, I used to be so organized when it came to sending out birthday/anniversary cards and especially Thank You cards. Now what happens is I buy them but they never get sent out. Heck, I'm lucky if I remember to call and tell someone thank you for something that the kids or I have gotten. It's terrible and embarrassing. After my wedding I got over 300 thank you cards out in 2 weeks. That will never happen again.
I can't even finish a thought or a sentance anymore. I can be on the phone with someone and halfway through my sentance, I forget what I was saying or I get distracted. My sister can confirm this one - she probably doesn't even like to call here anymore because it's like having a conversation with a 2 year old.
Tomorrow I have to bring him for his 15 month well baby check with his dr. This is going to be F-U-N. Not only does he get shots (it's going to take about 10 of us to hold the little bugger down and 2 to give the shots and then he's going to scream so hard that he holds his breath and turns all red, yep he does that) but I know I am going to get lectured by his dr for 3 things. I know because I got lectured (nicely) by him at his 12 month appointment.
1. The Beast doesn't sleep through the night. At his 12 month appt, the dr said to me "You know, he REALLY (emphasize on Really) needs to be sleeping through the night." Well No Shit Sherlock, you think that I don't wish that more than anything in the whole world. I LOVE getting up every three hours to a high pitched scream, going down the stairs (half asleep and falling at least once a month) to get the Beast a bottle. You think I don't know that he is too old to be wanting milk during the night. You think that I haven't tried to get him to stop. (Heck, tried is an understatement, I've begged, I've pleaded, I've tried to bribe him, I've cried, etc) We have tried to let him CIO (Cry It Out) only to have him scream for 4 hours straight and holding his breath on more than one occassion. This just doesn't work because we have poor Olivia who has to go to school the next morning exhausted from listening to him scream all night, not to mention poor Jack who shares a room with him. Oh and there's Trevor who gets to go to work. I have also tried to give him less milk each time but the kid knows math. Yes, my 15 month old cannot speak but he knows math. If I give him any less than 4 ounces during the night, he drinks it, stands up in his crib and throws the bottle across the room until I get him the remainder to equal 4 ounces. I am fully prepared to tell the dr that he is welcome to take the little shit home with him and get him to sleep thru the night.
2. The Beast still takes a bottle. Yes, he is 15 months old and still has at least 4 bottles a day (and more at night). I am not prepared to make him stop until he is at least 2 years old. That's what I did with my other two and that's what I'm going to do with Noah. (for those of you who don't know, Noah is "the beast"...lol) Most of it is purely selfish, I'm not afraid to admit it. The Beast doesn't like to be held or cuddled. The ONLY time he ever sits still is when he has a bottle so I am going to enjoy every second of it I can get. Also, I am just not prepared to deal with the fight that it's going to be when I take it away.
3. The Beast still eats babyfood. He is perfectly capable of self feeding, that is not a problem. The problem is he is messy. It is SO much easier to just spoon feed him and save myself from having to clean up the mess that he makes. Also, I know this way he is getting food that is healthy and well balanced (I am not a chef) and it's cheap. I can feed him a whole meal for under $1.00.
When the Beast wakes up it is time to take his 15 month picture. That itself is a fight. Getting him to stay still with a sign that says 15 months above him for enough time to snap a picture is not fun. There are normally tears, not his, mine. I get so frustrated. But, I have done it for the other two kids up to 30 months and I refuse to stop now because he's a BEAST.
So, HAPPY 15 Months to my little BEAST. As much as I don't like you at times, I still love you.
My Faults
Nobody is perfect. There are a lot of people out there who think they are, but aren't they normally the people the most far from perfect that you can get? Those whol claim they never judge others are the ones who are judging the most. Anyway, I am certainly not perfect. I was once asked in a job interview what my "faults" were. What kind of question is that when you are interviewing for a job? Do they really think you are going to sit there and tell them about all of your flaws? Anyway, I am going to do something I consider brave and spell out all of my flaws right here for whoever (if anyone) is reading this. I am not going to number them because I fear there will be a lot and then you can add depressed person to my faults...lol
-I hold a grudge. I am the WORST at this. If you p*ss me off or do something to upset me, it's going to take a long time before I get over it and honestly if I ever get over it. It's something I am working on. It's not easy.
-Kind of going along with above. I am really quick to cut people out of my life forever. I mean forever. I almost find it too easy to just cut people out and never speak to them or associate with them ever again. It all depends on what they have done and how badly they have upset me.
-I expect too much out of people. I think I am a great friend, I may be mistaken about that but really I do. But, I think I expect everyone else to be a great friend too and more often than not, I am disappointed. I would do anything for anyone that I consider to be a friend and that includes sticking up for them. I am not afraid to stand up to people for myself or other people. Nothing hurts me more than when someone I consider a friend won't stand up for me and will back down and let others hurt me. This, unfortunately has happen way too often in my life and has been cause for the grudges and cutting people out.
-I am very vocal, way too vocal. I know this but I just can't help myself. I am a social person and the thought of just sitting there and not saying anything kills me. I just don't understand how people do it. I don't know if it comes off as being self absorbed, I certainly hope not (but totally see how it could) but I am not that. I just love to talk to other people.
-I am not afraid to "put myself out there". I think that kind of goes along with the above. My life is an open book and I am not afraid to tell anyone almost anything. Yes, I have my secrets but not a lot. I am not afraid to share almost every detail of my life on message boards, facebook, twitter or obviously on this blog. Again, it's not being self centered (although I totally get how people could read it that way), I think I so deperately want to believe and trust in people. This has back fired on me many times. I am in no way comparing myself to a celebrity but I totally see how when they put themselves out there, there are more people who know everything about you, therefore more people to critize you.
-I have a hard time keeping a secret. Before some of you guys panic, I didn't say I CAN'T keep a secret, I can and have many times, especially if it's important but it's really hard for me. For example, I just don't understand why when someone is pregnant, they don't tell anyone until week 10 or 12. If something is going to happen, it's going to happen whether you tell people you are pg or not. With my 1st pg, we told people immediately, I'm talking 4 weeks along. I lost that first little girl in the second triamester so even if we would have waited the "regulatory time period" I would have still lost her. With Olivia, we waited and it was torture. I finally slipped and we had to tell.
-I get sucked into gossip too easily. This is a bad one, I'm not proud of it but I do. I try really hard not to but I do and it has gotten me into trouble on more than one occassion. I am not a bad person, I don't do it because I think I'm better than anyone else and I am getting way better about it.
-I have MAJOR trust issues. This is my hardest fault to overcome. I am not comfortable getting into all of the details on why I have trust issues, I just do. I have had a lot of things happen to me, one on top of another that has caused my issues. In the last town I lived in, there were some horrible people who felt that it was not appropriate to actually act like you don't like someone to their face. It was way more appropriate to be so nice to them to their face and just awful to them behind their back. I guess what you are supposed to do is befriend someone and then do everything in your power to make their life miserable. I'm hoping that's just the way it is up there and nowhere else. I put up with 6 years of that so it kind of has an affect on a person. I have been let down by so many people in my life that if you knew all of the stuff you would understand. It causes me to be paranoid. Moving to a new town has been hard because I want to trust people but I just don't. I'm so afraid that when I leave someplace that I get talked about because I know it has happened so often. It's a super sucky feeling. One I would wish on anyone. I am working on trusting people but it's so hard.
-I am very impatient. I hate waiting for things and have no tolerance when people are late. It drives me crazy. Which leads to:
-I am always early for things. I am incapable of being late. In fact, I am that person who is always 10 minutes early because I leave way earlier than I need to in fear of being late.
-I am obsessed with buying clothes for my kids. My kids have way more clothes than they need, probably about 3 times or more than they need. I just can't help myself, it's fun to buy for them. I would rather get them clothes than myself and will wear the same pair of jeans for three years before buying myself something.
-I have a weakness for designer purses. This one basically comes down to the fact that I am not comfortable with how I look, I don't feel beautiful. But, no matter what size you are, you can have a designer purse, no need to try them on or feel bad because of the size - one size fits all. It makes me feel good about myself to carry a Coach purse. Don't get me wrong, I love purses of all kinds, I have them from Target and other places too but I love my designer purses.
Ok I need to stop now because I think I could go on forever. Basically I am just trying to say that I am a person and I realize that I am not perfect and I have flaws too. But, putting them all out there like I am is a little scary.....
-I hold a grudge. I am the WORST at this. If you p*ss me off or do something to upset me, it's going to take a long time before I get over it and honestly if I ever get over it. It's something I am working on. It's not easy.
-Kind of going along with above. I am really quick to cut people out of my life forever. I mean forever. I almost find it too easy to just cut people out and never speak to them or associate with them ever again. It all depends on what they have done and how badly they have upset me.
-I expect too much out of people. I think I am a great friend, I may be mistaken about that but really I do. But, I think I expect everyone else to be a great friend too and more often than not, I am disappointed. I would do anything for anyone that I consider to be a friend and that includes sticking up for them. I am not afraid to stand up to people for myself or other people. Nothing hurts me more than when someone I consider a friend won't stand up for me and will back down and let others hurt me. This, unfortunately has happen way too often in my life and has been cause for the grudges and cutting people out.
-I am very vocal, way too vocal. I know this but I just can't help myself. I am a social person and the thought of just sitting there and not saying anything kills me. I just don't understand how people do it. I don't know if it comes off as being self absorbed, I certainly hope not (but totally see how it could) but I am not that. I just love to talk to other people.
-I am not afraid to "put myself out there". I think that kind of goes along with the above. My life is an open book and I am not afraid to tell anyone almost anything. Yes, I have my secrets but not a lot. I am not afraid to share almost every detail of my life on message boards, facebook, twitter or obviously on this blog. Again, it's not being self centered (although I totally get how people could read it that way), I think I so deperately want to believe and trust in people. This has back fired on me many times. I am in no way comparing myself to a celebrity but I totally see how when they put themselves out there, there are more people who know everything about you, therefore more people to critize you.
-I have a hard time keeping a secret. Before some of you guys panic, I didn't say I CAN'T keep a secret, I can and have many times, especially if it's important but it's really hard for me. For example, I just don't understand why when someone is pregnant, they don't tell anyone until week 10 or 12. If something is going to happen, it's going to happen whether you tell people you are pg or not. With my 1st pg, we told people immediately, I'm talking 4 weeks along. I lost that first little girl in the second triamester so even if we would have waited the "regulatory time period" I would have still lost her. With Olivia, we waited and it was torture. I finally slipped and we had to tell.
-I get sucked into gossip too easily. This is a bad one, I'm not proud of it but I do. I try really hard not to but I do and it has gotten me into trouble on more than one occassion. I am not a bad person, I don't do it because I think I'm better than anyone else and I am getting way better about it.
-I have MAJOR trust issues. This is my hardest fault to overcome. I am not comfortable getting into all of the details on why I have trust issues, I just do. I have had a lot of things happen to me, one on top of another that has caused my issues. In the last town I lived in, there were some horrible people who felt that it was not appropriate to actually act like you don't like someone to their face. It was way more appropriate to be so nice to them to their face and just awful to them behind their back. I guess what you are supposed to do is befriend someone and then do everything in your power to make their life miserable. I'm hoping that's just the way it is up there and nowhere else. I put up with 6 years of that so it kind of has an affect on a person. I have been let down by so many people in my life that if you knew all of the stuff you would understand. It causes me to be paranoid. Moving to a new town has been hard because I want to trust people but I just don't. I'm so afraid that when I leave someplace that I get talked about because I know it has happened so often. It's a super sucky feeling. One I would wish on anyone. I am working on trusting people but it's so hard.
-I am very impatient. I hate waiting for things and have no tolerance when people are late. It drives me crazy. Which leads to:
-I am always early for things. I am incapable of being late. In fact, I am that person who is always 10 minutes early because I leave way earlier than I need to in fear of being late.
-I am obsessed with buying clothes for my kids. My kids have way more clothes than they need, probably about 3 times or more than they need. I just can't help myself, it's fun to buy for them. I would rather get them clothes than myself and will wear the same pair of jeans for three years before buying myself something.
-I have a weakness for designer purses. This one basically comes down to the fact that I am not comfortable with how I look, I don't feel beautiful. But, no matter what size you are, you can have a designer purse, no need to try them on or feel bad because of the size - one size fits all. It makes me feel good about myself to carry a Coach purse. Don't get me wrong, I love purses of all kinds, I have them from Target and other places too but I love my designer purses.
Ok I need to stop now because I think I could go on forever. Basically I am just trying to say that I am a person and I realize that I am not perfect and I have flaws too. But, putting them all out there like I am is a little scary.....
Monday, April 4, 2011
Confessions of a Tired Mom
Ok, confession time. I guess if I was catholic this would be my version of comfession but since I'm not and I'm just a blogger who shares EVERYTHING (probably sometimes a little too much lol), here it goes instead. Just for the record, I am not a bad mom, a lazy person. No need for anyone to call CPS here or anything.
I am tired. I don't get much sleep. So, when it comes to doing a few of the "chores involving the kids", I tend to get a little lazy. That and the fact that I do them over and over and they are most definately not fun.
1. When The Beast poops in his pants, which is fairly often, I sometimes pretend that I didn't smell it or wasn't aware of it. If I'm home alone and nobody else is here to change him, it only lasts a minute or two before the guilt washes over me and I can't let it go. But, if I am not alone and someone else is here who is perfectly capable of changing a poopy diaper, I totally pretend that I didn't smell it. This kid poops so much during the day that I swear I change 10-15 poopy diapers a day. That gets old fast as you can imagine. Just because I know him and know his personality so well, I really think he does it on purpose. Like in the morning when he gets up and I change his diaper, I think he waits for that brand new fresh diaper to take his first poop in. Then, it's only a few little pebbles. He waits for me to change him again and in 15 minutes or so, he poops again...yep, just a few little pebbles. I swear, he does this just because he can. He is allergic to all diapers except the most expensive ones, the Huggies Naturals, so that is just another slam to us, we go thru SO many of those stupid diapers. He also doesn't like to sit still for a second so changing him is next to impossible. And my favorite thing about changing the Beast's diaper is usually right when I am starting to wipe or get the new one on, he grabs it and flings it all over the place sending his filth flying. Seriously, you can see by the look in his eye he knows what he is doing and gets pleasure from making me angry.
2. This one is somewhat along the same lines, sometimes at night when The Beast or another child wakes up in the night, I simply pretend that I am in such a deep, deep sleep that I don't hear them. Unfortunately it NEVER works because my dear husband does the same thing and is way better at that game then I am. He clearly has more willpower and can hold out much longer.
3. Sometimes by 6pm I am so exhausted that the only thing I want to do is sit on the couch in my comfy clothes and veg in front of the tv. So, bathtime doesn't sound like fun either. When you have three kids who all want to take baths seperately, it tends to take at least an hour, especially when they want to play for awhile. Our bathroom is upstairs so I can't just put the Beast in the water and do my own thing like I can with the other two. But, as soon as I sit down and get involved in a show or grab a snack, the older two always pick just that moment to want to get out. So, sometimes I let them go a day or two longer without giving them a bath. I know, bad right? Especially since Olivia goes to school now. I just pray that nobody ever refers to her as "the stinky kid".....that would so be my fault.
4. Meals. Meal time just sucks in our house. Each child has completely different tastes and are picky in their own way. Olivia loves pizza and lunchables and Jack loves corndogs and hotdogs. The Beast will eat almost anything but since he can't really feed himself in a tidy manner, that's a whole other story. Sometimes during the day I let Jackson skip lunch. He isn't a big eater and sometimes I have to force him to eat which usually results in a crying, screaming fit and he doesn't eat anyway. Why bother if he's not going to eat? He'll eat when he's hungry right? When my dear huband is out of town, which is for a week at least every other month or so, I let the kids eat cereal for dinner. Why should I cook a big, old meal when I know they won't eat it. Then, I let them eat on the counter......just because it makes them happy. I don't mean sitting up against the counter, I mean laying down on the counter.
Those are just some of my "Confessions"...I'm sure I have a ton more but I'm so tired I can't think of anymore. Besides, maybe it'll be good material for another post.
I am tired. I don't get much sleep. So, when it comes to doing a few of the "chores involving the kids", I tend to get a little lazy. That and the fact that I do them over and over and they are most definately not fun.
1. When The Beast poops in his pants, which is fairly often, I sometimes pretend that I didn't smell it or wasn't aware of it. If I'm home alone and nobody else is here to change him, it only lasts a minute or two before the guilt washes over me and I can't let it go. But, if I am not alone and someone else is here who is perfectly capable of changing a poopy diaper, I totally pretend that I didn't smell it. This kid poops so much during the day that I swear I change 10-15 poopy diapers a day. That gets old fast as you can imagine. Just because I know him and know his personality so well, I really think he does it on purpose. Like in the morning when he gets up and I change his diaper, I think he waits for that brand new fresh diaper to take his first poop in. Then, it's only a few little pebbles. He waits for me to change him again and in 15 minutes or so, he poops again...yep, just a few little pebbles. I swear, he does this just because he can. He is allergic to all diapers except the most expensive ones, the Huggies Naturals, so that is just another slam to us, we go thru SO many of those stupid diapers. He also doesn't like to sit still for a second so changing him is next to impossible. And my favorite thing about changing the Beast's diaper is usually right when I am starting to wipe or get the new one on, he grabs it and flings it all over the place sending his filth flying. Seriously, you can see by the look in his eye he knows what he is doing and gets pleasure from making me angry.
2. This one is somewhat along the same lines, sometimes at night when The Beast or another child wakes up in the night, I simply pretend that I am in such a deep, deep sleep that I don't hear them. Unfortunately it NEVER works because my dear husband does the same thing and is way better at that game then I am. He clearly has more willpower and can hold out much longer.
3. Sometimes by 6pm I am so exhausted that the only thing I want to do is sit on the couch in my comfy clothes and veg in front of the tv. So, bathtime doesn't sound like fun either. When you have three kids who all want to take baths seperately, it tends to take at least an hour, especially when they want to play for awhile. Our bathroom is upstairs so I can't just put the Beast in the water and do my own thing like I can with the other two. But, as soon as I sit down and get involved in a show or grab a snack, the older two always pick just that moment to want to get out. So, sometimes I let them go a day or two longer without giving them a bath. I know, bad right? Especially since Olivia goes to school now. I just pray that nobody ever refers to her as "the stinky kid".....that would so be my fault.
4. Meals. Meal time just sucks in our house. Each child has completely different tastes and are picky in their own way. Olivia loves pizza and lunchables and Jack loves corndogs and hotdogs. The Beast will eat almost anything but since he can't really feed himself in a tidy manner, that's a whole other story. Sometimes during the day I let Jackson skip lunch. He isn't a big eater and sometimes I have to force him to eat which usually results in a crying, screaming fit and he doesn't eat anyway. Why bother if he's not going to eat? He'll eat when he's hungry right? When my dear huband is out of town, which is for a week at least every other month or so, I let the kids eat cereal for dinner. Why should I cook a big, old meal when I know they won't eat it. Then, I let them eat on the counter......just because it makes them happy. I don't mean sitting up against the counter, I mean laying down on the counter.
Those are just some of my "Confessions"...I'm sure I have a ton more but I'm so tired I can't think of anymore. Besides, maybe it'll be good material for another post.
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