Do you ever think that you are being tested? That is where I am at right now with my third child, Noah or as we call him THE BEAST. This child is what I call the perfect "Birth Control Child". That means that if you know someone who is having baby fever or a teenager who loves babies, bring them to my house for a little while and watch The Beast in action and I guarantee they will no longer want children. I am a little worried because my friend is coming to visit me this weekend and she is pregnant with her first. I am afraid that two days with The Beast is going to make her regret her decision to become pregnant real fast.
Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly and of course cannot imagine my life without him (blah, blah, blah) but I do know that without him I would be a much more rested, less high strung mother. From the day he was born he was screaming bloody murder and constantly moving. You pick him up and his arms and legs are still going a mile a minute and he is figuring how he can contort his body to get away from you. He does not normally like to be held and he absolutely does not like to cuddle. He would have to stop for one second if he did that. This is the child that you cannot take your eyes off of for one second or he is into something.
When I was painting Olivia's bedroom a few weeks ago, a beautiful bubble gum pink color, she came in and left the door open. Noah was downstairs with Trevor but within a few seconds he was up the stairs and dipping his hands into the paint can smearing his brand new outfit with bubble gum pink paint. He managed to climb the stairs and come into the room and cover himself in paint in a matter of seconds, no joke. Another time, I ran upstairs to use the bathroom and when I came down, he was in the kitchen cupboard under the sink and had dumped comet cleanser all over the floor and was just about to scoop a handful into his mouth. Lovely hey? I have caught him dumping the cat water all over the floor, eating cat food, dumping the contents of my purse all over the house and he even stole my debit card and lost it. My theory is he threw it in the garbage when I wasn't looking because he likes to do that. (I bet daddy trained him how to do that one!) On St Patricks Day, The Beast decided to get into the holiday spirit by eating not only a green highlighter but a green crayon too. That was fun a few days later when I had to change a diaper.
The Beast's favorite thing to do is anything he shouldn't be doing. If his brother or sister are playing nicely or coloring, he will walk right up to them and do whatever he can to annoy them. He will grab something they are playing with and run, smack them in the head with his hand or a toy, pinch them or my favorite, bite them in the butt. Yep, why did we expect anything less, The Beast is a biter. He has to sharpen those fangs somehow I guess.. He is also a climber. I spend most of my day taking him off of things that he shouldn't be on. The biggest one is the kitchen table. He likes to climb onto it and play "Donkey Kong" which is throwing things off it onto the floor.
My favorite thing about The Beast is that he doesn't sleep at night. It's great because I love to be up all night long and not get any sleep. It really does good things to your personality and mental state. I have not gotten one single good night's sleep since December 21st of 2010. I bet you are jealous right? The Beast is 14 months old and he still gets up like a newborn. He goes to bed between 7 and 8pm and then he gets up at 11:30pm, 1:30 or 2am, 4:30am and usually starts to stir for the day at 6am. If you don't give him a 4 ounce bottle, he screams bloody murder. We have tried CIO (the Cry it Out) method and the stubborn little sh*t will scream all night long. He has the worst high pitched scream that makes you shudder. The Beast even knows math, I have tested him. If you don't give him exactly a 4 ounce bottle at each awakening, he will throw his bottle across the room and scream until you give him the difference to make 4 ounces. It's exhausting. I don't know what to do anymore. I am tired, I am crabby, I have no tolerance for anyone and I'm sure I am not fun to be around.
So, those are just a few reasons why I think I am being tested. The Beast is a very unhappy and busy child. Of course when we are around other people he is happy as can be so I look like a liar. But, he is really darn cute and has his brother's killer dimple. It's a good thing he's cute or I would have probably given him away a long time ago.
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