I often wonder what other stay at home moms do all day.   I feel like I never do anything.  In fact, I spend a lot of time on my laptop playing on facebook or looking for houses.   Do I sometimes feel guilty about how much time I spend on the computer?  Yes.   But, being the mother of a beast doesn't give you a lot of time to do whatever I need to do.    My child is constantly getting into trouble if I take my eyes off of him for a minute.   If I try to do dishes or cook something he will come in between me and the cupboard and push me back so I can pick him up.   If I ignore him, he just screams and pushes harder.  Then, he hurries up and gets behind me so when I back up to do something I trip over him, knock him over and end up picking him up to comfort him anyway.   I'm telling you, this kid is probably way smarter than I will ever be.    
  I am convinced that the Beast spends most of his days thinking up ways he can torment me.   For example, ever since he was born he has been a screamer.   He doesn't just cry, he cries and screams until you think his head is going to spin.   I tried every single pacifier in the world just praying he would take one and learn to self soothe himself but he would just spit them out.    I finally gave up on that idea.    Two days before the speech therapist came to do his evaluation, he was playing in his toy box and found one of his old pacifiers.   He picked it up, looked at me and put it in his mouth and it hasn't come out since.    Sigh.  This is the time when I should be weaning him off the paci and he decides to take it now?  He already doesn't say any real words so the fact that he has a pacifier in his mouth certainly isn't going to help that. So, now I'm torn, do I let him keep it and  he stays quiet or do I take it away?  
  He also has amazing timing.  Usually just when I am about to lay my  head down on my pillow and fall into a much needed slumber, that is when he wakes up for the first time each night.   As I have said before, he still wakes up multiple times during the night for a 4 ounce bottle.   He even knows math.   I have tried an experiment before.    One of the times when the Beast woke up I got him a 3 ounce bottle.   He drank the bottle, threw it across the room hitting the other wall and screamed bloody murder.   I went down to the kitchen and got 1 more ounce and brought it up to him.   He drank it and fell right back to sleep.  
  I can't wait until he is in high school and I can embarrass him and spend my time thinking of ways to torment him.   Paybacks a bitch right?   lol