First off, I want to apologize because I am kind of having a feeling sorry for myself morning. I realize that my life is not bad and I do have so many good things going on and how fortunate I am. But, the last couple weeks have been one thing on top of another. I feel like I either did something to piss off the karma gods or am going through a streak of bad luck. I am over it.
The first thing was the whole ex landlord thing. Which still isn't resolved...we are in limbo waiting for him to come back with the "you have to replace the siding quote". From our understanding, he has until August 21st to give us something. Then, we will decide what to do from there. I highly doubt he has a case but it's the whole point of us having to fight him to not only get our security deposit back but to get the judge to tell him he is not getting anything else from us. This is causing us stress, we are worried because the justice system isn't always fair. I have anxiety and it's really hard to just let it go and forget about it when you have anxiety.
Then, this weekend I was excited because I sold a bunch of my stuff on ebay. I listed a bunch of items for a friend who was going to give me a cut of the profit she made but nothing of hers is selling so it seems that I wasted my time and hers with that. I was looking forward to making a few bucks off of doing something that I like but I don't think it's going to happen. In fact, I am just going to lose about 30 cents and the rest of my free listings for the rest of the month. (I get so many "free listings" each month and I used a bunch on her stuff to help her out). I'm not upset over it so don't get me wrong, just bummed. Anyway, back to my point. I sold a bunch of my stuff and was in the middle of printing out labels and my printer died. So, now I can't print out anything. I had to hand write all of the labels and then take them to the Post Office so they could get the postage. Most of the time, the Post Offices get annoyed with me because I bring in about 20 packages and three kids. Enough Said.
My laptop also died this week. I don't know what happened to it but it will not do anything. It's annoying because I saved up my ebay money for months to buy that and was so happy to have something of my own, something that only I could use. As most of you know, when you become a mom, you don't have much that is just yours anymore. Plus, my desktop is downstairs and it was nice to have something to play on while I was watching The Beast in the living room. I pretty much have to gate him into a one room space or he gets into everything. With him around, I am trapped to basically watching tv because if I leave the room for a second, he gets into something he's not supposed to or is destroying something.
Then, my cell phone won't connect to the internet. I use my cell phone to play on facebook and do foursquare plus twitter and games like words with friends and I can't right now. It is driving me crazy. It's also a touch screen and it's very "sticky" like right now. I can touch something and it hesitates or gets stuck and the phone is only one year old. I just don't have the money to go out and buy another $400 phone.
Those things are trivial yes but put together it's kind of annoying. There is also another thing that is going on but I don't want to talk about it publicly right now. I have a decision to make and need to without the people involved knowing. It's nothing big, just something I have to figure out. Let's just say it affects the only socializing I get around here right now so it's frustrating.
This week I have also taken Olivia, my 7 year old to 3 dance studios because she is dying to get back into dance. She is good at it and she needs to stay busy. It is frustrating because dance is so expensive. Where we used to live it wasn't bad at all and very affordable. Here, the prices are crazy to me, especially since we are living on one income. I hate feeling like I am not contributing to the family expenses. I hate having to scale back and not do everything we want to do or want the kids to do. We are not poor and my husband makes a good amount of money so I don't understand how all of these other one income families can afford to have their child in every single activity and go on all of these family vacations, etc. I don't think we are doing anything wrong. I keep applying for jobs but I can't even get called for an interview. It's very frustrating and it's making me feel like I am worthless and I don't like that feeling. I hate being a stay at home mom and I feel each day I am getting more and more depressed.
I'm sorry this blog is such a downer. It's just the mood I've been in lately. I need to snap out of it, I know. It's just figuring out how.
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