Is it Depression?

I have not been feeling myself lately.   I haven't really had much ambition to do much of anything except sit on the couch and watch tv.  But, then if I do nothing, I have been getting very anxious so it's kind of a catch 22.   I have always struggled with some anxiety but I wonder if I'm not getting a touch of depression.   It's kind of  embarrassing to talk about it but I think talking about it might help.  

I've noticed that I haven't really had much to talk about with anyone.  I usually post quite a bit of stuff that is going on, on Facebook but I haven't even been doing a whole lot of that.   I think being stuck at home with nothing to do is a lot of it.    Having The Beast limits so much of what I can do.   He still takes a three hour nap and if I miss that nap, I pay for it all afternoon and all night.  Sometimes I wish I had someone who would come over and just sit here while he naps (for free of course...lol) so I can get some stuff done.   Even if I do take him out to run errands he isn't much fun, he hates to be confided to the stroller or the shopping cart and unless I am feeding him sucker after sucker the whole time, he is a major pain.   Which, heaven forbid I do that because I would be getting looks from those "perfect" mothers with their "perfect" children who just don't understand what it's like to have a "Beast".  

Then again, I wonder if it doesn't have something to do with the Mirena IUD that I had inserted a few weeks ago too.   Maybe it's the fact that it's winter.   Maybe it's a mixture of all of those things.  

People who are not going through the feelings that I am just don't understand.  I don't dare post something about this on my status update because you will have those people who 1) think I am posting too personal of information out there and 2) who think that I am terrible because they are the type who think the world is made up of rainbows and sunshine and you should be happy all of the time.   I'm sorry but those people drive me insane.   Yes, it's nice to be happy more than you are not but it's just not normal.   Nobody has a smile plastered on their face 100% of the time and thinks nothing but happy thoughts.   

I don't really know where I'm going with this blog.   The Beast has been so crabby lately, maybe he is going off of my mood or maybe my mood is going off of his.    It's almost unbearable.   We are quite a pair.