I can't even believe that I am sitting here writing this. The Beast has turned 2 years old. It's a crazy thought because it still seems like just yesterday I was sitting in the hospital waiting for the little Beast to come out and then taking the itty bitty Beast home from the hospital. He was so small, smaller than a Cabbage Patch Doll and he screamed a whole lot. We joke that he came out screaming and hasn't stopped a day since. Sometimes I feel like my life is like a sitcom with him the main character.
Christmas was pretty uneventful this year, he still doesn't quite understand what it is all about but once he figured out how to open presents, he thought it was pretty cool. I have to admit, I scrimped on buying for him because this is the last year that we can. Next year, he will start to notice when he gets about 10 presents less than his siblings.
On the day of his birthday, we pretty much did nothing. I had to work that day and he was sick so we waited to have his party yesterday. We had a Yo Gabba Gabba theme because that is the only thing that will make the child stop and pay attention to anything. Sometimes I think he might be nicer to me or pay attention, heck maybe he'd acknowledge me once in awhile if I put on that stupid orange suit that DJ Lance wears. But, orange really isn't a good color for me so I'll pass. I want to know who created that show and what they were smoking when they thought of it. I want some of whatever they were on.
As for his behavior, it's ok but it's certainly not getting any better. He speaks pretty well and can usually get his point across but like a typical toddler he loves the words "No", "Mine" and "Hey". He is hateful and stubborn as a mule but yet adorable.
When he got up from his nap the other day he had peed through his diaper so I took his clothes off to change him. Well, he was not very happy about that and he started hitting me and screaming "NOOOOO" so I just left him in his nasty diaper at the top of the stairs to "Scream it out". He finally came downstairs so I wrestled him to the floor to change his diaper. I got him dressed and cleaned up and threw his diaper in the garbage. The Beast was so pissed off at me that he went running for the garbage and we had a fist fight because he wanted to get his nasty diaper and put it back on. Well, I lost the fight and he grabbed it and pitched it at my head. Nice hey?
He still isn't sleeping through the night every night and that is just exhausting. I can officially say that I haven't slept well in over 2 years. It's amazing how that can wear on your mind and body, I think it's just another way for him to mess with me. There is nothing worse than waking up out of a dead sleep to a screaming toddler wailing in the next room. I swear when this kid screams, the house shakes, it's that loud.
As much as I complain about him, I do love him and cannot imagine our lives without him. Happy Birthday to The Beast.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Dear Beast
Dear Beast,
I have just a few things that I would like to bring to your attention that I just don't appreciate.
-Please sleep thru the night - Mommy is tired and does not like to be woken up at 1am to your screaming. Have you ever had to get up from a dead sleep to the most annoying noise ever and then try to do stairs? I have fallen down the stairs so many times in the middle of the night while getting you a bottle that I am shocked when I don't fall.
-If you must still wake up during the night, please at least sleep in until 7am or so. I don't think that's too much to ask. Waking up at 5 or 6am is just simply not working for me.
-When I put a brand new diaper on you, can you please not immediately take a nasty poop in it? Since you are allergic to every diaper except the most expensive and hard to find diapers out there, it would be nice if you could wait at least 1/2 hour so I don't feel like I am wasting.
-Speaking of diaper changes, can you please just lay down and not move for the 30 seconds it would take to actually change that said poopy diaper. I'm not sure if you are aware but we currently have white carpet and I don't enjoy scrubbing poop out it because you can't lay still.
-When you are in one of your "fits of rage" can you please not act like you want something only to have you throw it at me once I give it to you? If you don't want a bottle, don't say "baba" because I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy having things thrown at me.
-To get attention I would also appreciate it if you would stop running to the garage door everytime I go out there to bring the garbage out. I don't always realize that you are there and when you get hit by the door and go flying I am pretty sure you know what you are doing because you want attention. Same when I'm cooking, please stop standing behind me so I knock you over. If you want a hug, just ask.
I know there is a lot more but I think this will do for now.
Sincerely,
Mom
I have just a few things that I would like to bring to your attention that I just don't appreciate.
-Please sleep thru the night - Mommy is tired and does not like to be woken up at 1am to your screaming. Have you ever had to get up from a dead sleep to the most annoying noise ever and then try to do stairs? I have fallen down the stairs so many times in the middle of the night while getting you a bottle that I am shocked when I don't fall.
-If you must still wake up during the night, please at least sleep in until 7am or so. I don't think that's too much to ask. Waking up at 5 or 6am is just simply not working for me.
-When I put a brand new diaper on you, can you please not immediately take a nasty poop in it? Since you are allergic to every diaper except the most expensive and hard to find diapers out there, it would be nice if you could wait at least 1/2 hour so I don't feel like I am wasting.
-Speaking of diaper changes, can you please just lay down and not move for the 30 seconds it would take to actually change that said poopy diaper. I'm not sure if you are aware but we currently have white carpet and I don't enjoy scrubbing poop out it because you can't lay still.
-When you are in one of your "fits of rage" can you please not act like you want something only to have you throw it at me once I give it to you? If you don't want a bottle, don't say "baba" because I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy having things thrown at me.
-To get attention I would also appreciate it if you would stop running to the garage door everytime I go out there to bring the garbage out. I don't always realize that you are there and when you get hit by the door and go flying I am pretty sure you know what you are doing because you want attention. Same when I'm cooking, please stop standing behind me so I knock you over. If you want a hug, just ask.
I know there is a lot more but I think this will do for now.
Sincerely,
Mom
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Things That Annoy Me
Disclaimer: Before you read this blog please realize that unless I am specifically saying YOUR name, I am more than likely NOT talking about you. Trust me, half the time the people I am usually referring to on my blogs or Facebook are way too "in their own world" to ever even think I am talking about them. Also, I am sure there are some things on here that you might do and it's ok, I know I annoy the hell out of a lot of people. I am not writing this to purposely offend anyone so don't get your panties in a bundle.
In no particular order.......
1. When people write on their Facebook status a simple statement of things they have done during the day and end it with "I am so blessed". It seems to have become a "trend" lately to do that. I see about 25 of them a day now and it is getting old fast. Yes, it's great that you are happy and feel so blessed however, that statement is super annoying when you see it 25 times a day.
2. People named Vanessa. I have met three people in the last 10 years who are named Vanessa and at first they seem nice and pretend to be so shy and reserved but once I've gotten to know them, they are actually very socially awkward, do strange things like home school their children for the wrong reasons (don't even get me started), are dirty and are just plain mean.
3. People who are just too nice. If you are too nice, I don't trust you. Nobody is THAT nice. My husband and I know this woman who is like that and we have often asked each other how it is even possible. Nobody can be that nice 100% of the time.
4. Silence. Silence makes me very uncomfortable. It also makes me feel like I have to fill that silence and I usually end up spilling my guts and telling people I have just met WAY too much information.
5. When people post a million and one photos of themselves on Facebook. Especially when they are in all sorts of "cute" poses or making that god awful "duck face". I don't even know where to start on that. I just want to tell those people that yes you are pretty but your not that pretty. Often times I think those are the ones lacking the self confidence and they need to have other people comment on how pretty they are.
6. People who have to be liked by EVERYONE. These people need to realize that not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. When we lived in Roseau, there was this girl named Kate who was like this and it was so annoying. You could tell her to her face that you despise her and never want to see her again and two weeks later she is baking you cookies and asking how your day was.....turns out that a lot of people didn't like her but just pretended to because they could no longer stand the effort it took to make her realize that they in fact didn't like her.
7. The words "Cunt", "Pussy" and "CaCa". If you are around me, please don't say those words. They sound gross and I don't enjoy them.
8. When people only dress their babies in onsies or pajamas all day long. Really, how hard is it to dress a baby? For some reason this just annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it's because I don't like to wear my pajamas all day long. Which brings me to #9
9. People who wear pajama pants out in public. I'm sorry, I do know people who do this and I really am not trying to hurt your feelings but it just doesn't look nice. It looks like you just don't care about how you look. I'm not saying you have to be all gussied up to run to Walmart or the grocery store but even putting jeans on is so much nicer.
10. When Mother's tell me "My Children Are MY World". No kidding....I hear this SO many times a week. I'm sorry but if you have to tell me that, you must be feeling guilty about something because I don't know too many mothers who don't feel that way.
11. When people don't leave you positive feedback on ebay. How hard is it to hop on the computer and just type "thank you" or "item rec'd" or something like that. Feedback is important to a seller and it helps us know that the transaction is done and over with.
12. When businesses post things they think are funny in their job ads. No joke, when I lived in Roseau, a local retailer was hiring and in their ad it stated "No tattooed, pierced, freaky people need apply" and then just recently on a sign in front of a bar I saw this "Mature line cook needed, experienced, No drama please". Sigh, so unprofessional.
13. Couples who profess their love for each other on Facebook all of the time. Honestly, it can be cute once or twice but when you do it all of the time it 1) makes people want to vomit and 2) makes you look desperate, like you are trying to prove to the world that you really do have a great relationship. I compare this to hickey's.....ew.
14, Facebook Stalkers. You know, those people who add you but NEVER say a word to you or comment on a single thing. I don't get it. What about my life is so interesting that you need to add or keep me as a friend if you have no intention on ever acknowledging me or saying a word to me. Or, the people who are just plain nosey. When I was airlifted to the hospital while in labor with The Beast, I had about 25-30 friend requests from people who I knew didn't like me just so they could "get the gossip". Pathetic.
15. Friends that don't have your back This one drives me insane. I am not afraid to stand up for my friends and I expect the same in return. I don't think this is too much to ask for. I have been in so many situations where my friends have "hid in the corner" or "stated silent" because they are too afraid to stand up for me even though they tell me repeatedly how they agree with me or think I was being treated horribly. It's the whole "mob mentality" thing - so much easier to hide in the crowd than stand up for what you believe in.
16. When people automatically assume that my Facebook status or Blog is about them. Honestly, the people who usually assume this are almost 100% of the time very wrong. I have found that the people I am usually writing about are so self absorbed that they don't even notice I am writing about them. I love that people just jump to conclusions and automatically assume that my world revolves around them. I find it amusing actually. If I sat at my computer and assumed everyone's status is about me, I'd go insane. Personally, I think if you are doing that, you are feeling guilty about something.
Ok, this is getting kind of long. I know there is so much more that annoys me so I may have to post a Part 2 in the next few weeks.
Share with me - What annoys you???
In no particular order.......
1. When people write on their Facebook status a simple statement of things they have done during the day and end it with "I am so blessed". It seems to have become a "trend" lately to do that. I see about 25 of them a day now and it is getting old fast. Yes, it's great that you are happy and feel so blessed however, that statement is super annoying when you see it 25 times a day.
2. People named Vanessa. I have met three people in the last 10 years who are named Vanessa and at first they seem nice and pretend to be so shy and reserved but once I've gotten to know them, they are actually very socially awkward, do strange things like home school their children for the wrong reasons (don't even get me started), are dirty and are just plain mean.
3. People who are just too nice. If you are too nice, I don't trust you. Nobody is THAT nice. My husband and I know this woman who is like that and we have often asked each other how it is even possible. Nobody can be that nice 100% of the time.
4. Silence. Silence makes me very uncomfortable. It also makes me feel like I have to fill that silence and I usually end up spilling my guts and telling people I have just met WAY too much information.
5. When people post a million and one photos of themselves on Facebook. Especially when they are in all sorts of "cute" poses or making that god awful "duck face". I don't even know where to start on that. I just want to tell those people that yes you are pretty but your not that pretty. Often times I think those are the ones lacking the self confidence and they need to have other people comment on how pretty they are.
6. People who have to be liked by EVERYONE. These people need to realize that not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. When we lived in Roseau, there was this girl named Kate who was like this and it was so annoying. You could tell her to her face that you despise her and never want to see her again and two weeks later she is baking you cookies and asking how your day was.....turns out that a lot of people didn't like her but just pretended to because they could no longer stand the effort it took to make her realize that they in fact didn't like her.
7. The words "Cunt", "Pussy" and "CaCa". If you are around me, please don't say those words. They sound gross and I don't enjoy them.
8. When people only dress their babies in onsies or pajamas all day long. Really, how hard is it to dress a baby? For some reason this just annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it's because I don't like to wear my pajamas all day long. Which brings me to #9
9. People who wear pajama pants out in public. I'm sorry, I do know people who do this and I really am not trying to hurt your feelings but it just doesn't look nice. It looks like you just don't care about how you look. I'm not saying you have to be all gussied up to run to Walmart or the grocery store but even putting jeans on is so much nicer.
10. When Mother's tell me "My Children Are MY World". No kidding....I hear this SO many times a week. I'm sorry but if you have to tell me that, you must be feeling guilty about something because I don't know too many mothers who don't feel that way.
11. When people don't leave you positive feedback on ebay. How hard is it to hop on the computer and just type "thank you" or "item rec'd" or something like that. Feedback is important to a seller and it helps us know that the transaction is done and over with.
12. When businesses post things they think are funny in their job ads. No joke, when I lived in Roseau, a local retailer was hiring and in their ad it stated "No tattooed, pierced, freaky people need apply" and then just recently on a sign in front of a bar I saw this "Mature line cook needed, experienced, No drama please". Sigh, so unprofessional.
13. Couples who profess their love for each other on Facebook all of the time. Honestly, it can be cute once or twice but when you do it all of the time it 1) makes people want to vomit and 2) makes you look desperate, like you are trying to prove to the world that you really do have a great relationship. I compare this to hickey's.....ew.
14, Facebook Stalkers. You know, those people who add you but NEVER say a word to you or comment on a single thing. I don't get it. What about my life is so interesting that you need to add or keep me as a friend if you have no intention on ever acknowledging me or saying a word to me. Or, the people who are just plain nosey. When I was airlifted to the hospital while in labor with The Beast, I had about 25-30 friend requests from people who I knew didn't like me just so they could "get the gossip". Pathetic.
15. Friends that don't have your back This one drives me insane. I am not afraid to stand up for my friends and I expect the same in return. I don't think this is too much to ask for. I have been in so many situations where my friends have "hid in the corner" or "stated silent" because they are too afraid to stand up for me even though they tell me repeatedly how they agree with me or think I was being treated horribly. It's the whole "mob mentality" thing - so much easier to hide in the crowd than stand up for what you believe in.
16. When people automatically assume that my Facebook status or Blog is about them. Honestly, the people who usually assume this are almost 100% of the time very wrong. I have found that the people I am usually writing about are so self absorbed that they don't even notice I am writing about them. I love that people just jump to conclusions and automatically assume that my world revolves around them. I find it amusing actually. If I sat at my computer and assumed everyone's status is about me, I'd go insane. Personally, I think if you are doing that, you are feeling guilty about something.
Ok, this is getting kind of long. I know there is so much more that annoys me so I may have to post a Part 2 in the next few weeks.
Share with me - What annoys you???
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Yep, That Was Me
How many of you went Black Friday Shopping? Well, I did. My original plan was to go for 10pm when you could get the toys at Walmart. I have three kids and buying for them gets expensive, especially when my 7 year old wants things like a Wii and a DS. So, I joined the crazies to get the best deals.
My husband's nephew decided that he was going to go to Best Buy to get a tv on sale. The doors open at midnight and he thought he would go around ten pm and just get in line and get his tv.....he's nineteen so I laughed at him and told him he was crazy. He would have to go around seven at least. He asked if I'd go with him. Hey, why not, it was better than sitting around doing nothing or having to take care of The Beast and other kids. I had nothing better to do.
We brought lawn chairs and got into line. The line was around the building about halfway so it wasn't too terrible. It was so cold out and I was not prepared to sit out in the cold and I am still getting over being sick. My sister in law joined us and she too is getting over a cold. We made it about fifteen minutes before we ditched my nephew and decided to go to Walmart to start scoping out the store.
After getting my purchases at Walmart (I got every single item on my list thank-you-very-much) we got a text from my nephew saying that he had to go to the bathroom BAD. So, we went over there to relieve him (hee hee literally). I got back into the line and as soon as I sat down I hear him scream
"LISA RUN".....OMG if you know me, I do not run but I didn't want to let him down so off I ran. Well the line moved about 20 feet closer to the front of the building and I think I squeezed in a little closer. Once he got back I felt like I should hang with him for a while since I ditched him. Best Buy was handing out "tickets" for the item you wanted and they were about the start.
They started handing out the tickets and after a few of the items were handed out - it happened. Yes, I got into a fight standing in line at Best Buy. It's not my proudest moment but it happened. There is also no doubt in my mind that my war of words is caught on video and posted to someone's facebook or youtube account out in the wonderful world of the internet. It was really stupid and silly but at the time I certainly thought my point was important. Here's what happened.
The crowd was lined up in front and on the one side of the building. Well, as people weren't getting their item, they would stomp all pissed off to the side of the building where their car was parked and then instead of pulling around the back of the building, they would have to drive right thru the crowd. Seriously? How hard was it to go around the buidling? Well, this one woman was just pissed off that she didn't get her Tv or laptop or whatever and got into her car with her driver and tried to come thru the crowd. I had had enough by that point and I yelled "Nobody move" to the crowd so she would be forced to drive around the building. She didn't budge, she drove right up to me and wanted me to move. I refused. I stood there and told her kindly that I wasn't going to move and that she was going to have to turn around. She yelled at me, I yelled at her and I refused to move. Finally after a few minutes, all the idiots around me moved and she was able to get thru. (Dumbasses...so easily intimidated) There were these really geeky guys in front of us and they looked at my nephew and told him that his aunt was a "She-Hulk"and "A Scrapper" (we had been talking with them all night. They thought I was 36 which is just crazy but I am getting off the topic here). He looked at them and said "That's why I brought her".....
Yes, that was me who got into a fight at Best Buy on Black Friday.
My husband's nephew decided that he was going to go to Best Buy to get a tv on sale. The doors open at midnight and he thought he would go around ten pm and just get in line and get his tv.....he's nineteen so I laughed at him and told him he was crazy. He would have to go around seven at least. He asked if I'd go with him. Hey, why not, it was better than sitting around doing nothing or having to take care of The Beast and other kids. I had nothing better to do.
We brought lawn chairs and got into line. The line was around the building about halfway so it wasn't too terrible. It was so cold out and I was not prepared to sit out in the cold and I am still getting over being sick. My sister in law joined us and she too is getting over a cold. We made it about fifteen minutes before we ditched my nephew and decided to go to Walmart to start scoping out the store.
After getting my purchases at Walmart (I got every single item on my list thank-you-very-much) we got a text from my nephew saying that he had to go to the bathroom BAD. So, we went over there to relieve him (hee hee literally). I got back into the line and as soon as I sat down I hear him scream
"LISA RUN".....OMG if you know me, I do not run but I didn't want to let him down so off I ran. Well the line moved about 20 feet closer to the front of the building and I think I squeezed in a little closer. Once he got back I felt like I should hang with him for a while since I ditched him. Best Buy was handing out "tickets" for the item you wanted and they were about the start.
They started handing out the tickets and after a few of the items were handed out - it happened. Yes, I got into a fight standing in line at Best Buy. It's not my proudest moment but it happened. There is also no doubt in my mind that my war of words is caught on video and posted to someone's facebook or youtube account out in the wonderful world of the internet. It was really stupid and silly but at the time I certainly thought my point was important. Here's what happened.
The crowd was lined up in front and on the one side of the building. Well, as people weren't getting their item, they would stomp all pissed off to the side of the building where their car was parked and then instead of pulling around the back of the building, they would have to drive right thru the crowd. Seriously? How hard was it to go around the buidling? Well, this one woman was just pissed off that she didn't get her Tv or laptop or whatever and got into her car with her driver and tried to come thru the crowd. I had had enough by that point and I yelled "Nobody move" to the crowd so she would be forced to drive around the building. She didn't budge, she drove right up to me and wanted me to move. I refused. I stood there and told her kindly that I wasn't going to move and that she was going to have to turn around. She yelled at me, I yelled at her and I refused to move. Finally after a few minutes, all the idiots around me moved and she was able to get thru. (Dumbasses...so easily intimidated) There were these really geeky guys in front of us and they looked at my nephew and told him that his aunt was a "She-Hulk"and "A Scrapper" (we had been talking with them all night. They thought I was 36 which is just crazy but I am getting off the topic here). He looked at them and said "That's why I brought her".....
Yes, that was me who got into a fight at Best Buy on Black Friday.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
"Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't listen anyway."
Someone said this to me today and I really like it. It is so true. Something happened this week that upset me and it is rather fitting for this quote. I honestly don't know who said this but I am sharing it with all of you anyway.
My life is an open book and it always has been. Silence makes me uncomfortable so I tend to overshare things. That is just who I am. I kind of like it about me and I know other people like it too. I'm sure that there are so many people out there, my husband included, who just do not understand why I choose to share almost every part of my life and thoughts with everyone and that's ok. You don't have to understand.
Anyway, back to what happened. I am part of many groups since moving to this new area. I am in a couple Mom's Groups, I attend ECFE (Early Childhood and Family Education) with the boys, Olivia is on a dance team where I am constantly around other moms and she is also in Girl Scouts where again, I am around other moms. I am not always going to think and feel the same exact way as each and every one of those other moms do and that's ok. Do I think they are judging me? Yeah sometimes I think that. Does that mean they are judging me? Probably not. Life wouldn't be fun if everyone shared the same opinion about everything. My sister and I are about as opposite as night and day but I still consider her to be one of my best friends. So, back to my story. The other night after a long day (and week) at work and not feeling well (I have a terrible sore throat) I sat down at almost 10pm to read my email. Inside was a message from someone I am in a group with who basically told me that she did not appreciate or think it was appropriate for me to be sharing my negative thoughts about our group on the internet. That I should only share my happy and positive thoughts about the group.
I was surprised because of many reasons.
1. I thought this person was my friend and never saw it coming. I had no idea after knowing her for over year that she felt this way. She has been a facebook friend for almost that long and has had access to my blog and in that year has never once let on that anything I said bothered her.
2. Since when do friends "censor" each other and tell them what they can and cannot write or feel.
3. I have never said anything negative about the group or members itself, I have said that after meetings I have come home sad because of things that people have said or the way a discussion went. In that same blog I also said that I'm sure that nobody was trying to be hurtful, that it was probably me taking it the wrong way.
4. I have never "named names" and the only people that would ever know what happened at a meeting to identify it was that specific one were at that meeting - nobody else would know what I'm talking about. I don't know if I hit a nerve and made someone feel guilty for the way I was feeling or what. I know often I will read someones status and think "oops I have done or said that and I guess I probably shouldn't have, I didn't realize how much it would hurt another person".
5. I don't like drama or confrontation and I have very low self esteem. It is hard for me to admit that, but it's true. Over the years my self esteem has gone down further and further because of many situations in my past. (I don't want to get into them now but just trust that I am not being dramatic). My blog is my way of dealing with my feelings and sending them away into space so I don't hold onto them and let them fester.
I don't know if I'm wrong here. I don't know if they are wrong. What I did not appreciate more than anything was the fact that this person insinuated that it was "the group" who wanted her to email me and now I am finding out that that is not the case at all - more than likely it was just her who feels this way.
I feel so many things right now, I feel hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel chastised and I don't like that she is making me second guess myself. I have not gone around bashing anyone or trying to paint this group in a negative light. In fact, I like this group and am trying to do my best to keep it going despite the fact that it's dying a slow death.
Am I wrong here?
Someone said this to me today and I really like it. It is so true. Something happened this week that upset me and it is rather fitting for this quote. I honestly don't know who said this but I am sharing it with all of you anyway.
My life is an open book and it always has been. Silence makes me uncomfortable so I tend to overshare things. That is just who I am. I kind of like it about me and I know other people like it too. I'm sure that there are so many people out there, my husband included, who just do not understand why I choose to share almost every part of my life and thoughts with everyone and that's ok. You don't have to understand.
Anyway, back to what happened. I am part of many groups since moving to this new area. I am in a couple Mom's Groups, I attend ECFE (Early Childhood and Family Education) with the boys, Olivia is on a dance team where I am constantly around other moms and she is also in Girl Scouts where again, I am around other moms. I am not always going to think and feel the same exact way as each and every one of those other moms do and that's ok. Do I think they are judging me? Yeah sometimes I think that. Does that mean they are judging me? Probably not. Life wouldn't be fun if everyone shared the same opinion about everything. My sister and I are about as opposite as night and day but I still consider her to be one of my best friends. So, back to my story. The other night after a long day (and week) at work and not feeling well (I have a terrible sore throat) I sat down at almost 10pm to read my email. Inside was a message from someone I am in a group with who basically told me that she did not appreciate or think it was appropriate for me to be sharing my negative thoughts about our group on the internet. That I should only share my happy and positive thoughts about the group.
I was surprised because of many reasons.
1. I thought this person was my friend and never saw it coming. I had no idea after knowing her for over year that she felt this way. She has been a facebook friend for almost that long and has had access to my blog and in that year has never once let on that anything I said bothered her.
2. Since when do friends "censor" each other and tell them what they can and cannot write or feel.
3. I have never said anything negative about the group or members itself, I have said that after meetings I have come home sad because of things that people have said or the way a discussion went. In that same blog I also said that I'm sure that nobody was trying to be hurtful, that it was probably me taking it the wrong way.
4. I have never "named names" and the only people that would ever know what happened at a meeting to identify it was that specific one were at that meeting - nobody else would know what I'm talking about. I don't know if I hit a nerve and made someone feel guilty for the way I was feeling or what. I know often I will read someones status and think "oops I have done or said that and I guess I probably shouldn't have, I didn't realize how much it would hurt another person".
5. I don't like drama or confrontation and I have very low self esteem. It is hard for me to admit that, but it's true. Over the years my self esteem has gone down further and further because of many situations in my past. (I don't want to get into them now but just trust that I am not being dramatic). My blog is my way of dealing with my feelings and sending them away into space so I don't hold onto them and let them fester.
I don't know if I'm wrong here. I don't know if they are wrong. What I did not appreciate more than anything was the fact that this person insinuated that it was "the group" who wanted her to email me and now I am finding out that that is not the case at all - more than likely it was just her who feels this way.
I feel so many things right now, I feel hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel chastised and I don't like that she is making me second guess myself. I have not gone around bashing anyone or trying to paint this group in a negative light. In fact, I like this group and am trying to do my best to keep it going despite the fact that it's dying a slow death.
Am I wrong here?
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Update on The Beast
The Beast is now 22 months old. He is still a beast. In fact, I would like to add a few more words to decribe him and his behavior but I'm sure that I would be reported for child abuse by some idiot out there who can't begin to understand what we go through with this child. It is always something.
Yesterday I was in a hurry, I was running late for a meeting and I still had to stop and buy some stuff before I went. I ran upstairs for one minute to pick out clothes for Jack and The Beast and when I came down I saw a mess in my kitchen. In the one minute it took me upstairs, the Beast had gotten into the fridge, taken out the carton of eggs and decided to throw them all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to clean up raw eggs off of the floor and cabinets? Do you know how much harder it is when you are in a hurry?
His speech is really catching up to where it should be, in fact, it is probably better than it should be. His speech therapist is amazing and has worked wonders with him. He pretty much copies every single thing you say so you have to be careful. I was driving the boys to daycare one day and stopped too far into the intersection. I pulled back and said "Oh Shit"....guess what the Beast went around chanting all day long....
One morning The Beast decided that he wanted cereal for breakfeast. I even put a little bit of milk in it because he kept saying "milk" and never seems to eat it dry. It just ends up on the floor all over the dining room. He is also obsessed with "forks" right now (really spoons) so I gave him a spoon. I watched him as he figured out what to do and he was happily eating his cereal. He looked up and smiled at me and seemed happy so I ran upstairs to use the restroom. By the time I got back downstairs he had taken the bowl of cereal and threw it across the dining room hitting the wall and smearing milk everywhere. We have carpet in our dining room, white carpet. (What the hell was anyone thinking putting white carpet in a dining room? It's the first thing going come spring) I swear when he saw that I was upset, he laughed.
I'm telling you, it's a good thing this kid is cute.
Yesterday I was in a hurry, I was running late for a meeting and I still had to stop and buy some stuff before I went. I ran upstairs for one minute to pick out clothes for Jack and The Beast and when I came down I saw a mess in my kitchen. In the one minute it took me upstairs, the Beast had gotten into the fridge, taken out the carton of eggs and decided to throw them all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to clean up raw eggs off of the floor and cabinets? Do you know how much harder it is when you are in a hurry?
His speech is really catching up to where it should be, in fact, it is probably better than it should be. His speech therapist is amazing and has worked wonders with him. He pretty much copies every single thing you say so you have to be careful. I was driving the boys to daycare one day and stopped too far into the intersection. I pulled back and said "Oh Shit"....guess what the Beast went around chanting all day long....
One morning The Beast decided that he wanted cereal for breakfeast. I even put a little bit of milk in it because he kept saying "milk" and never seems to eat it dry. It just ends up on the floor all over the dining room. He is also obsessed with "forks" right now (really spoons) so I gave him a spoon. I watched him as he figured out what to do and he was happily eating his cereal. He looked up and smiled at me and seemed happy so I ran upstairs to use the restroom. By the time I got back downstairs he had taken the bowl of cereal and threw it across the dining room hitting the wall and smearing milk everywhere. We have carpet in our dining room, white carpet. (What the hell was anyone thinking putting white carpet in a dining room? It's the first thing going come spring) I swear when he saw that I was upset, he laughed.
I'm telling you, it's a good thing this kid is cute.
It's Been Awhile
So it's been awhile since I've last blogged. Sometimes I feel too much pressure to make it funny or interesting and then I panic and don't write anything at all. I know it's silly but it's the truth. I tend to need to do things over the top or not at all. In fact, I am finding myself really pushing with my daughter and I need to figure out how to stop before I become one of those moms on "dance moms" or "toddlers and tiaras".
We went to my daughter's parent/teacher conferences. She is in second grade. My daughter is the type who when she does something, she almost always does it well. For example (and a mommy brag too), in school they were tested in three areas; Math, Reading and Verbal/Oral Communication. In Math, the goal was to receive a score of around 170 and she received a 180. In Reading, the goal was to receive a score of 163 and she got a 199. In Verbal/Oral Communication, the goal was to get a 43 and Olivia received a score of 99! This qualified her to be in a special reading program which is like a "book club" for second graders. Crazy hey? I cannot imagine, at 7 years old being smart and confident enough to be in a book club, heck I can't even imagine it now at age 34. I am so proud of her and think it's amazing that she did so well but in my mind, I see the 180 in Math and think she needs to work harder.
If that isn't crazy enough, Olivia is on a competitive dance team. She auditioned in the fall and made it on the team which is fantastic. She impressed her teacher enough to put her right in the front of the front row which is an awesome spot to be in when your in a group and then she received a special honor of "Student of the Month". The teacher said that they have never given the award to anyone under the age of 8 and at first I thought it was just for someone in their class but since then I have realized that she was chosen out of the entire dance academy. It is such an honor since some of those girls have been going there for years. Her dance teacher tested them last week on their dance and I just got the email with her results. The dance was split into two parts and they were scored on how well they are doing on the first half and second half with a score of 1, 2 or 3. 1 meaning that they are doing excellent and better than the average kids in the class, 2 meaning that they are doing average and 3 meaning they might need a private lesson because they are doing below average. Olivia received a 1 on the first part and a 2 on the second part. Right away I look at the 2 and think that she needs to practice more and needs to improve.
I know I'm being pyscho and I am working on it. I just want her to do well and I think it's because I have never been good at anything before. It all comes so easy to her, maybe I'm jealous? I think part of being a mom is you want your children to do their best and be the best.
We went to my daughter's parent/teacher conferences. She is in second grade. My daughter is the type who when she does something, she almost always does it well. For example (and a mommy brag too), in school they were tested in three areas; Math, Reading and Verbal/Oral Communication. In Math, the goal was to receive a score of around 170 and she received a 180. In Reading, the goal was to receive a score of 163 and she got a 199. In Verbal/Oral Communication, the goal was to get a 43 and Olivia received a score of 99! This qualified her to be in a special reading program which is like a "book club" for second graders. Crazy hey? I cannot imagine, at 7 years old being smart and confident enough to be in a book club, heck I can't even imagine it now at age 34. I am so proud of her and think it's amazing that she did so well but in my mind, I see the 180 in Math and think she needs to work harder.
If that isn't crazy enough, Olivia is on a competitive dance team. She auditioned in the fall and made it on the team which is fantastic. She impressed her teacher enough to put her right in the front of the front row which is an awesome spot to be in when your in a group and then she received a special honor of "Student of the Month". The teacher said that they have never given the award to anyone under the age of 8 and at first I thought it was just for someone in their class but since then I have realized that she was chosen out of the entire dance academy. It is such an honor since some of those girls have been going there for years. Her dance teacher tested them last week on their dance and I just got the email with her results. The dance was split into two parts and they were scored on how well they are doing on the first half and second half with a score of 1, 2 or 3. 1 meaning that they are doing excellent and better than the average kids in the class, 2 meaning that they are doing average and 3 meaning they might need a private lesson because they are doing below average. Olivia received a 1 on the first part and a 2 on the second part. Right away I look at the 2 and think that she needs to practice more and needs to improve.
I know I'm being pyscho and I am working on it. I just want her to do well and I think it's because I have never been good at anything before. It all comes so easy to her, maybe I'm jealous? I think part of being a mom is you want your children to do their best and be the best.
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