This is probably one of the hardest blog entries that I am going to write. As a mother, you want to think that you have done everything that you possibly can to make sure that your children are happy and healthy.
This weekend was really a rough one with The Beast and how he was acting. He was extremely irritable, cranky, mean and just plain no fun to be around. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with the fact that we are working on taking the pacifier away from him. (Because of his sensory issues, he has a strong oral fixation) Anyway, we had it completely taken away and he was doing alright but then he found one in his toys and popped it into his mouth and it's like it made him even more angry because he realized what he was missing. We tried to run errands on Sunday and it was miserable.
Before I get into the main reason of the blog, I have a little back story. Right before I found out I was pregnant with The Beast, I went to Las Vegas with some girlfriends from Saturday thru Tuesday. I took a pregnancy test before I went just because I wanted to be certain that I could party and have a good time. I was on birth control and we certainly weren't trying to have another baby so I got the green light when the test came back negative. Anyway, I drank the entire weekend and didn't take a break until Tuesday morning when I had to fly home. We went to night clubs, we walked the strip and spent the entire weekend pretty much drunk. A couple of weeks later, I went to a friend's house for the day with the kids and when I got home I had a terrible upset stomach. The only time that I throw up is when I am pregnant. It turns out I was pregnant, about 7 or 8 weeks pregnant which meant The Beast was literally "forming" while I was in Las Vegas. When I found out, I called the dr immediately and was honest with them about everything. They didn't seem too concerned and were more worried about my anti-anxiety meds I was taking and made me go off of those cold turkey.
Anyway, I always joke around with people and say that The Beast is the way he is because I spent the time he was "forming" in my belly drunk. Just for the heck of it, we decided to look it up: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Effect and look what I found: Honestly, it makes me want to cry.
-Low Birth Weight
-Small Head Circumference
-Developmental Delays
-Learning difficulties, including poor memory, inability to understand
concepts such as time and money, poor language comprehension, poor
problem-solving skills
Here's the biggie:
- behavioral problems, including hyperactivity, inability to concentrate,
social withdrawal, stubbornness, impulsiveness, and anxiety
That describes The Beast to a "T"....Behavioral Problems, Inability to Concentrate, Stubbornness, Impulsiveness......We also think he struggles with anxiety.
Really there isn't much we can do about it and I certainly didn't drink while pregnant on purpose, I had absolutely NO clue that there was even a possibility that I could be pregnant. I am humiliated and embarrassed to even bring it up but I cannot help but wonder, Is it my fault?
One of my xfriends raped that woman with 30 men. The subject came up about her having 6 abortions with him. People knew about it. I told him that I told her to use other forms of birth control. He got drunk and as an inferior little pathetic man caused the brutal rape of his friend. Want that bottle of wine, yet? A man who lost his child to his wife due to his alcohol and drug additions. Catholic man. Want his name? He got away with it. I stopped wanting anything to do with all of those beasts!
ReplyDeleteWant one of those pathetic little people to rip your life apart? On your second bottle of wine, yet?
ReplyDeleteThese are even people that I dealt with this week as well. They would kill you for their crack cocaine and for a sandwich afterward. 3 men involved in that mans murder. For $, drugs, beer, and a sandwich.
ReplyDeleteOn your third bottle of wine, yet?
DeleteLittle peddler predators selling their lortabs, percocets, seboxin, for $3 to $5 a pop! For gas $. I yelled at them and told them to go die! They thought they were badass! Told me that they were setting up that man to get at his money in the bank. Are they in jail? No! But that mommy trying to raise her kids alone is targeted by deadbeats family! So that raped man wants a beautiful woman like her and his two kids to love. Fill his life with love and joy. Omnipotence can do it! Not beast in psalm 49 like those 3 involved in that mans murder as beasts thinking they are omnipotent.
DeleteAnd they know what they do!
DeleteThey know what they cause!
DeleteYou have your heads buried in quicksand! You try to pull people down to your level! Which one are you? On your fourth bottle of wine, yet? Or still on your first? Because your disease process of alcoholism is used for an excuse as well! Its the, well I was drunk and I am a piece of shit, part of the piece of shit excuse club! There is no excuse good enough! None! So you want what kind of wine? Because as I drank my cup of coffee, the bartender my counselor stated, you want a drink? And she said, no I want those strawberry daquari mixes. So I said, a long island ice tea! Yum! Then she said, want another one and I said, two would do me in! So, have too many long island ice teas during pregnancy for people to make you feel guilty about your child? Because I took care of babies that were failure to thrive and died. But as long as they're born that's ok, right? It will happen either way! Fetuses die in womb too. Should that woman die with that fetus? That is what you are facing by tyrannical people as women. You want a man like my xhusband who knew I was pregnant watch you die! Go ahead! I do not!
DeleteHe is a pathetic little man to me for doing it. I don't want him. You women do! If its about forgiveness of that pathetic little man, mission impossible! Go burn him upon his cross as a christian man women who owes you over $750,000 in child support arrears!
DeleteI certainly need a better babysitter than, Mrs. Cocaine boozie to afford!
DeleteI am not you. You are not me. I don't want to be you. And I don't want you to be allowed to be me! Get out of my life you psychotic little people. Get out of my children's lives, I don't want you in their lives. Go die as the beasts that you are as predator's for people.
ReplyDeleteLet me know when omnipotence GETS those two together. Because I doubt even though she needs a good man vs her deadbeat dad in her life that she would want him due to his physical illnesses. She doesn't want another child to take care of even if he would financially save her and her two children at the grips of the deadbeats christian family! Otherwise, she would have by now already have met him! That is omnipotence to me.
ReplyDeleteI am MOM TO BEAST, AS WELL! BEAST GO TO YOUR GRAVES BY PSALM 49!
ReplyDeleteAnyone or anything to relies upon technology is not Omnipotent! You lack reception! I based what I stated here on her first and last statement! You people harmed this woman who loves her child! You are sexist pig for accusing her! Go try to reread what my statement are about you!
ReplyDeleteYou perception is limited to your comprehension!
ReplyDeleteOooops typo! YOUR PERCEPTION IS LIMITED TO YOUR COMPREHENSION!
ReplyDeleteGet out of my life!
ReplyDeleteYou are beasts. She called you beast! I called you beasts! I used your own weaponry!
ReplyDelete