Frustrations.....

  Right now, The Beast is 2 years and 3 months old.  By this time with my other two, they were both 1) done with pacifiers, 2) done with bottles, 3) sleeping in a toddler bed and 4)completely or almost completely potty trained.   The Beast is none of the above and it frustrates me to no end.  Yes, I know every child is different but the pressure I get from the "outside" world is beyond annoying.   Do you know how many times a day I hear "He shouldn't have that paci" or "Why is he still drinking from a bottle" or "My child is peeing on the potty".  As hard as it is not to, it makes me feel like I'm not doing something right.   But, I do need to realize that The Beast is a completely different child than my other two, heck than any other child on the planet and he will do things when he wants to, how he wants to and there will be no other way about it.   I have lost all control with him and it pretty much kills me because I am a control freak.
  People who have "easy" children just do not understand.  It is SO easy for them to say to me, "Just cut the tip off of the pacifier, he won't want it anymore" and tell me that "the first few days will be rough".  I know that, I have done this before, trust me, The Diva had her pacifier 24 hours a day/7 days a week from birth until the age of 2, she didn't like giving it up, but she did.
  Part of The Beast's thing is, he has a major "oral fixation" and sucking on his paci and bottle keep him calm and sort of relaxed (well, as relaxed as a Beast can get).  If it causes one less temper tantrum a day, it helps because we have many.   If I don't let him have his paci or bottle, he sucks on the tag of his blankie and it is so digusting that the whole area surrounding his tag on his blanket is  now permanently brown and wet.   (It also smells no matter how much I wash it).   I also cannot find another blanket exactly like his to replace it with.
  The Occupational Therapist brought over some toys called "Chewies" for him because lately he has been chewing up his pacifiers so there are holes in them.   We are trying to transition him to these things but seriously, they look like dog toys and freak me out a little.   It's bad enough I call him The Beast but to give him things that dog toys, ooooh the haters would have fun with that one, wouldn't they?   I honestly cannot imagine taking him out in public with these things, the looks I would get. 
  Anyway, I am super frustrated with him right now.  He has absolutely NO desire to potty train either.   I honestly wonder at times if he can even feel it when he wets or poops in his pants.   He will sit in his filth all day if we let him and his skin is so sensitive that he screams "Ow" whenever I wipe him to change his diaper.  It's just not fun.   (I know, changing diapers is never fun but this is torture).
  I am feeling burnt out.  I am losing my patience with him.   I need a break.   As much as I love him, I wish for one day that I had a "easy" toddler.