Dear Beast,
I have just a few things that I would like to bring to your attention that I just don't appreciate.
-Please sleep thru the night - Mommy is tired and does not like to be woken up at 1am to your screaming. Have you ever had to get up from a dead sleep to the most annoying noise ever and then try to do stairs? I have fallen down the stairs so many times in the middle of the night while getting you a bottle that I am shocked when I don't fall.
-If you must still wake up during the night, please at least sleep in until 7am or so. I don't think that's too much to ask. Waking up at 5 or 6am is just simply not working for me.
-When I put a brand new diaper on you, can you please not immediately take a nasty poop in it? Since you are allergic to every diaper except the most expensive and hard to find diapers out there, it would be nice if you could wait at least 1/2 hour so I don't feel like I am wasting.
-Speaking of diaper changes, can you please just lay down and not move for the 30 seconds it would take to actually change that said poopy diaper. I'm not sure if you are aware but we currently have white carpet and I don't enjoy scrubbing poop out it because you can't lay still.
-When you are in one of your "fits of rage" can you please not act like you want something only to have you throw it at me once I give it to you? If you don't want a bottle, don't say "baba" because I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy having things thrown at me.
-To get attention I would also appreciate it if you would stop running to the garage door everytime I go out there to bring the garbage out. I don't always realize that you are there and when you get hit by the door and go flying I am pretty sure you know what you are doing because you want attention. Same when I'm cooking, please stop standing behind me so I knock you over. If you want a hug, just ask.
I know there is a lot more but I think this will do for now.
Sincerely,
Mom
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Things That Annoy Me
Disclaimer: Before you read this blog please realize that unless I am specifically saying YOUR name, I am more than likely NOT talking about you. Trust me, half the time the people I am usually referring to on my blogs or Facebook are way too "in their own world" to ever even think I am talking about them. Also, I am sure there are some things on here that you might do and it's ok, I know I annoy the hell out of a lot of people. I am not writing this to purposely offend anyone so don't get your panties in a bundle.
In no particular order.......
1. When people write on their Facebook status a simple statement of things they have done during the day and end it with "I am so blessed". It seems to have become a "trend" lately to do that. I see about 25 of them a day now and it is getting old fast. Yes, it's great that you are happy and feel so blessed however, that statement is super annoying when you see it 25 times a day.
2. People named Vanessa. I have met three people in the last 10 years who are named Vanessa and at first they seem nice and pretend to be so shy and reserved but once I've gotten to know them, they are actually very socially awkward, do strange things like home school their children for the wrong reasons (don't even get me started), are dirty and are just plain mean.
3. People who are just too nice. If you are too nice, I don't trust you. Nobody is THAT nice. My husband and I know this woman who is like that and we have often asked each other how it is even possible. Nobody can be that nice 100% of the time.
4. Silence. Silence makes me very uncomfortable. It also makes me feel like I have to fill that silence and I usually end up spilling my guts and telling people I have just met WAY too much information.
5. When people post a million and one photos of themselves on Facebook. Especially when they are in all sorts of "cute" poses or making that god awful "duck face". I don't even know where to start on that. I just want to tell those people that yes you are pretty but your not that pretty. Often times I think those are the ones lacking the self confidence and they need to have other people comment on how pretty they are.
6. People who have to be liked by EVERYONE. These people need to realize that not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. When we lived in Roseau, there was this girl named Kate who was like this and it was so annoying. You could tell her to her face that you despise her and never want to see her again and two weeks later she is baking you cookies and asking how your day was.....turns out that a lot of people didn't like her but just pretended to because they could no longer stand the effort it took to make her realize that they in fact didn't like her.
7. The words "Cunt", "Pussy" and "CaCa". If you are around me, please don't say those words. They sound gross and I don't enjoy them.
8. When people only dress their babies in onsies or pajamas all day long. Really, how hard is it to dress a baby? For some reason this just annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it's because I don't like to wear my pajamas all day long. Which brings me to #9
9. People who wear pajama pants out in public. I'm sorry, I do know people who do this and I really am not trying to hurt your feelings but it just doesn't look nice. It looks like you just don't care about how you look. I'm not saying you have to be all gussied up to run to Walmart or the grocery store but even putting jeans on is so much nicer.
10. When Mother's tell me "My Children Are MY World". No kidding....I hear this SO many times a week. I'm sorry but if you have to tell me that, you must be feeling guilty about something because I don't know too many mothers who don't feel that way.
11. When people don't leave you positive feedback on ebay. How hard is it to hop on the computer and just type "thank you" or "item rec'd" or something like that. Feedback is important to a seller and it helps us know that the transaction is done and over with.
12. When businesses post things they think are funny in their job ads. No joke, when I lived in Roseau, a local retailer was hiring and in their ad it stated "No tattooed, pierced, freaky people need apply" and then just recently on a sign in front of a bar I saw this "Mature line cook needed, experienced, No drama please". Sigh, so unprofessional.
13. Couples who profess their love for each other on Facebook all of the time. Honestly, it can be cute once or twice but when you do it all of the time it 1) makes people want to vomit and 2) makes you look desperate, like you are trying to prove to the world that you really do have a great relationship. I compare this to hickey's.....ew.
14, Facebook Stalkers. You know, those people who add you but NEVER say a word to you or comment on a single thing. I don't get it. What about my life is so interesting that you need to add or keep me as a friend if you have no intention on ever acknowledging me or saying a word to me. Or, the people who are just plain nosey. When I was airlifted to the hospital while in labor with The Beast, I had about 25-30 friend requests from people who I knew didn't like me just so they could "get the gossip". Pathetic.
15. Friends that don't have your back This one drives me insane. I am not afraid to stand up for my friends and I expect the same in return. I don't think this is too much to ask for. I have been in so many situations where my friends have "hid in the corner" or "stated silent" because they are too afraid to stand up for me even though they tell me repeatedly how they agree with me or think I was being treated horribly. It's the whole "mob mentality" thing - so much easier to hide in the crowd than stand up for what you believe in.
16. When people automatically assume that my Facebook status or Blog is about them. Honestly, the people who usually assume this are almost 100% of the time very wrong. I have found that the people I am usually writing about are so self absorbed that they don't even notice I am writing about them. I love that people just jump to conclusions and automatically assume that my world revolves around them. I find it amusing actually. If I sat at my computer and assumed everyone's status is about me, I'd go insane. Personally, I think if you are doing that, you are feeling guilty about something.
Ok, this is getting kind of long. I know there is so much more that annoys me so I may have to post a Part 2 in the next few weeks.
Share with me - What annoys you???
In no particular order.......
1. When people write on their Facebook status a simple statement of things they have done during the day and end it with "I am so blessed". It seems to have become a "trend" lately to do that. I see about 25 of them a day now and it is getting old fast. Yes, it's great that you are happy and feel so blessed however, that statement is super annoying when you see it 25 times a day.
2. People named Vanessa. I have met three people in the last 10 years who are named Vanessa and at first they seem nice and pretend to be so shy and reserved but once I've gotten to know them, they are actually very socially awkward, do strange things like home school their children for the wrong reasons (don't even get me started), are dirty and are just plain mean.
3. People who are just too nice. If you are too nice, I don't trust you. Nobody is THAT nice. My husband and I know this woman who is like that and we have often asked each other how it is even possible. Nobody can be that nice 100% of the time.
4. Silence. Silence makes me very uncomfortable. It also makes me feel like I have to fill that silence and I usually end up spilling my guts and telling people I have just met WAY too much information.
5. When people post a million and one photos of themselves on Facebook. Especially when they are in all sorts of "cute" poses or making that god awful "duck face". I don't even know where to start on that. I just want to tell those people that yes you are pretty but your not that pretty. Often times I think those are the ones lacking the self confidence and they need to have other people comment on how pretty they are.
6. People who have to be liked by EVERYONE. These people need to realize that not everyone is going to like you and that is ok. When we lived in Roseau, there was this girl named Kate who was like this and it was so annoying. You could tell her to her face that you despise her and never want to see her again and two weeks later she is baking you cookies and asking how your day was.....turns out that a lot of people didn't like her but just pretended to because they could no longer stand the effort it took to make her realize that they in fact didn't like her.
7. The words "Cunt", "Pussy" and "CaCa". If you are around me, please don't say those words. They sound gross and I don't enjoy them.
8. When people only dress their babies in onsies or pajamas all day long. Really, how hard is it to dress a baby? For some reason this just annoys the hell out of me. Maybe it's because I don't like to wear my pajamas all day long. Which brings me to #9
9. People who wear pajama pants out in public. I'm sorry, I do know people who do this and I really am not trying to hurt your feelings but it just doesn't look nice. It looks like you just don't care about how you look. I'm not saying you have to be all gussied up to run to Walmart or the grocery store but even putting jeans on is so much nicer.
10. When Mother's tell me "My Children Are MY World". No kidding....I hear this SO many times a week. I'm sorry but if you have to tell me that, you must be feeling guilty about something because I don't know too many mothers who don't feel that way.
11. When people don't leave you positive feedback on ebay. How hard is it to hop on the computer and just type "thank you" or "item rec'd" or something like that. Feedback is important to a seller and it helps us know that the transaction is done and over with.
12. When businesses post things they think are funny in their job ads. No joke, when I lived in Roseau, a local retailer was hiring and in their ad it stated "No tattooed, pierced, freaky people need apply" and then just recently on a sign in front of a bar I saw this "Mature line cook needed, experienced, No drama please". Sigh, so unprofessional.
13. Couples who profess their love for each other on Facebook all of the time. Honestly, it can be cute once or twice but when you do it all of the time it 1) makes people want to vomit and 2) makes you look desperate, like you are trying to prove to the world that you really do have a great relationship. I compare this to hickey's.....ew.
14, Facebook Stalkers. You know, those people who add you but NEVER say a word to you or comment on a single thing. I don't get it. What about my life is so interesting that you need to add or keep me as a friend if you have no intention on ever acknowledging me or saying a word to me. Or, the people who are just plain nosey. When I was airlifted to the hospital while in labor with The Beast, I had about 25-30 friend requests from people who I knew didn't like me just so they could "get the gossip". Pathetic.
15. Friends that don't have your back This one drives me insane. I am not afraid to stand up for my friends and I expect the same in return. I don't think this is too much to ask for. I have been in so many situations where my friends have "hid in the corner" or "stated silent" because they are too afraid to stand up for me even though they tell me repeatedly how they agree with me or think I was being treated horribly. It's the whole "mob mentality" thing - so much easier to hide in the crowd than stand up for what you believe in.
16. When people automatically assume that my Facebook status or Blog is about them. Honestly, the people who usually assume this are almost 100% of the time very wrong. I have found that the people I am usually writing about are so self absorbed that they don't even notice I am writing about them. I love that people just jump to conclusions and automatically assume that my world revolves around them. I find it amusing actually. If I sat at my computer and assumed everyone's status is about me, I'd go insane. Personally, I think if you are doing that, you are feeling guilty about something.
Ok, this is getting kind of long. I know there is so much more that annoys me so I may have to post a Part 2 in the next few weeks.
Share with me - What annoys you???
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Yep, That Was Me
How many of you went Black Friday Shopping? Well, I did. My original plan was to go for 10pm when you could get the toys at Walmart. I have three kids and buying for them gets expensive, especially when my 7 year old wants things like a Wii and a DS. So, I joined the crazies to get the best deals.
My husband's nephew decided that he was going to go to Best Buy to get a tv on sale. The doors open at midnight and he thought he would go around ten pm and just get in line and get his tv.....he's nineteen so I laughed at him and told him he was crazy. He would have to go around seven at least. He asked if I'd go with him. Hey, why not, it was better than sitting around doing nothing or having to take care of The Beast and other kids. I had nothing better to do.
We brought lawn chairs and got into line. The line was around the building about halfway so it wasn't too terrible. It was so cold out and I was not prepared to sit out in the cold and I am still getting over being sick. My sister in law joined us and she too is getting over a cold. We made it about fifteen minutes before we ditched my nephew and decided to go to Walmart to start scoping out the store.
After getting my purchases at Walmart (I got every single item on my list thank-you-very-much) we got a text from my nephew saying that he had to go to the bathroom BAD. So, we went over there to relieve him (hee hee literally). I got back into the line and as soon as I sat down I hear him scream
"LISA RUN".....OMG if you know me, I do not run but I didn't want to let him down so off I ran. Well the line moved about 20 feet closer to the front of the building and I think I squeezed in a little closer. Once he got back I felt like I should hang with him for a while since I ditched him. Best Buy was handing out "tickets" for the item you wanted and they were about the start.
They started handing out the tickets and after a few of the items were handed out - it happened. Yes, I got into a fight standing in line at Best Buy. It's not my proudest moment but it happened. There is also no doubt in my mind that my war of words is caught on video and posted to someone's facebook or youtube account out in the wonderful world of the internet. It was really stupid and silly but at the time I certainly thought my point was important. Here's what happened.
The crowd was lined up in front and on the one side of the building. Well, as people weren't getting their item, they would stomp all pissed off to the side of the building where their car was parked and then instead of pulling around the back of the building, they would have to drive right thru the crowd. Seriously? How hard was it to go around the buidling? Well, this one woman was just pissed off that she didn't get her Tv or laptop or whatever and got into her car with her driver and tried to come thru the crowd. I had had enough by that point and I yelled "Nobody move" to the crowd so she would be forced to drive around the building. She didn't budge, she drove right up to me and wanted me to move. I refused. I stood there and told her kindly that I wasn't going to move and that she was going to have to turn around. She yelled at me, I yelled at her and I refused to move. Finally after a few minutes, all the idiots around me moved and she was able to get thru. (Dumbasses...so easily intimidated) There were these really geeky guys in front of us and they looked at my nephew and told him that his aunt was a "She-Hulk"and "A Scrapper" (we had been talking with them all night. They thought I was 36 which is just crazy but I am getting off the topic here). He looked at them and said "That's why I brought her".....
Yes, that was me who got into a fight at Best Buy on Black Friday.
My husband's nephew decided that he was going to go to Best Buy to get a tv on sale. The doors open at midnight and he thought he would go around ten pm and just get in line and get his tv.....he's nineteen so I laughed at him and told him he was crazy. He would have to go around seven at least. He asked if I'd go with him. Hey, why not, it was better than sitting around doing nothing or having to take care of The Beast and other kids. I had nothing better to do.
We brought lawn chairs and got into line. The line was around the building about halfway so it wasn't too terrible. It was so cold out and I was not prepared to sit out in the cold and I am still getting over being sick. My sister in law joined us and she too is getting over a cold. We made it about fifteen minutes before we ditched my nephew and decided to go to Walmart to start scoping out the store.
After getting my purchases at Walmart (I got every single item on my list thank-you-very-much) we got a text from my nephew saying that he had to go to the bathroom BAD. So, we went over there to relieve him (hee hee literally). I got back into the line and as soon as I sat down I hear him scream
"LISA RUN".....OMG if you know me, I do not run but I didn't want to let him down so off I ran. Well the line moved about 20 feet closer to the front of the building and I think I squeezed in a little closer. Once he got back I felt like I should hang with him for a while since I ditched him. Best Buy was handing out "tickets" for the item you wanted and they were about the start.
They started handing out the tickets and after a few of the items were handed out - it happened. Yes, I got into a fight standing in line at Best Buy. It's not my proudest moment but it happened. There is also no doubt in my mind that my war of words is caught on video and posted to someone's facebook or youtube account out in the wonderful world of the internet. It was really stupid and silly but at the time I certainly thought my point was important. Here's what happened.
The crowd was lined up in front and on the one side of the building. Well, as people weren't getting their item, they would stomp all pissed off to the side of the building where their car was parked and then instead of pulling around the back of the building, they would have to drive right thru the crowd. Seriously? How hard was it to go around the buidling? Well, this one woman was just pissed off that she didn't get her Tv or laptop or whatever and got into her car with her driver and tried to come thru the crowd. I had had enough by that point and I yelled "Nobody move" to the crowd so she would be forced to drive around the building. She didn't budge, she drove right up to me and wanted me to move. I refused. I stood there and told her kindly that I wasn't going to move and that she was going to have to turn around. She yelled at me, I yelled at her and I refused to move. Finally after a few minutes, all the idiots around me moved and she was able to get thru. (Dumbasses...so easily intimidated) There were these really geeky guys in front of us and they looked at my nephew and told him that his aunt was a "She-Hulk"and "A Scrapper" (we had been talking with them all night. They thought I was 36 which is just crazy but I am getting off the topic here). He looked at them and said "That's why I brought her".....
Yes, that was me who got into a fight at Best Buy on Black Friday.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
"Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't listen anyway."
Someone said this to me today and I really like it. It is so true. Something happened this week that upset me and it is rather fitting for this quote. I honestly don't know who said this but I am sharing it with all of you anyway.
My life is an open book and it always has been. Silence makes me uncomfortable so I tend to overshare things. That is just who I am. I kind of like it about me and I know other people like it too. I'm sure that there are so many people out there, my husband included, who just do not understand why I choose to share almost every part of my life and thoughts with everyone and that's ok. You don't have to understand.
Anyway, back to what happened. I am part of many groups since moving to this new area. I am in a couple Mom's Groups, I attend ECFE (Early Childhood and Family Education) with the boys, Olivia is on a dance team where I am constantly around other moms and she is also in Girl Scouts where again, I am around other moms. I am not always going to think and feel the same exact way as each and every one of those other moms do and that's ok. Do I think they are judging me? Yeah sometimes I think that. Does that mean they are judging me? Probably not. Life wouldn't be fun if everyone shared the same opinion about everything. My sister and I are about as opposite as night and day but I still consider her to be one of my best friends. So, back to my story. The other night after a long day (and week) at work and not feeling well (I have a terrible sore throat) I sat down at almost 10pm to read my email. Inside was a message from someone I am in a group with who basically told me that she did not appreciate or think it was appropriate for me to be sharing my negative thoughts about our group on the internet. That I should only share my happy and positive thoughts about the group.
I was surprised because of many reasons.
1. I thought this person was my friend and never saw it coming. I had no idea after knowing her for over year that she felt this way. She has been a facebook friend for almost that long and has had access to my blog and in that year has never once let on that anything I said bothered her.
2. Since when do friends "censor" each other and tell them what they can and cannot write or feel.
3. I have never said anything negative about the group or members itself, I have said that after meetings I have come home sad because of things that people have said or the way a discussion went. In that same blog I also said that I'm sure that nobody was trying to be hurtful, that it was probably me taking it the wrong way.
4. I have never "named names" and the only people that would ever know what happened at a meeting to identify it was that specific one were at that meeting - nobody else would know what I'm talking about. I don't know if I hit a nerve and made someone feel guilty for the way I was feeling or what. I know often I will read someones status and think "oops I have done or said that and I guess I probably shouldn't have, I didn't realize how much it would hurt another person".
5. I don't like drama or confrontation and I have very low self esteem. It is hard for me to admit that, but it's true. Over the years my self esteem has gone down further and further because of many situations in my past. (I don't want to get into them now but just trust that I am not being dramatic). My blog is my way of dealing with my feelings and sending them away into space so I don't hold onto them and let them fester.
I don't know if I'm wrong here. I don't know if they are wrong. What I did not appreciate more than anything was the fact that this person insinuated that it was "the group" who wanted her to email me and now I am finding out that that is not the case at all - more than likely it was just her who feels this way.
I feel so many things right now, I feel hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel chastised and I don't like that she is making me second guess myself. I have not gone around bashing anyone or trying to paint this group in a negative light. In fact, I like this group and am trying to do my best to keep it going despite the fact that it's dying a slow death.
Am I wrong here?
Someone said this to me today and I really like it. It is so true. Something happened this week that upset me and it is rather fitting for this quote. I honestly don't know who said this but I am sharing it with all of you anyway.
My life is an open book and it always has been. Silence makes me uncomfortable so I tend to overshare things. That is just who I am. I kind of like it about me and I know other people like it too. I'm sure that there are so many people out there, my husband included, who just do not understand why I choose to share almost every part of my life and thoughts with everyone and that's ok. You don't have to understand.
Anyway, back to what happened. I am part of many groups since moving to this new area. I am in a couple Mom's Groups, I attend ECFE (Early Childhood and Family Education) with the boys, Olivia is on a dance team where I am constantly around other moms and she is also in Girl Scouts where again, I am around other moms. I am not always going to think and feel the same exact way as each and every one of those other moms do and that's ok. Do I think they are judging me? Yeah sometimes I think that. Does that mean they are judging me? Probably not. Life wouldn't be fun if everyone shared the same opinion about everything. My sister and I are about as opposite as night and day but I still consider her to be one of my best friends. So, back to my story. The other night after a long day (and week) at work and not feeling well (I have a terrible sore throat) I sat down at almost 10pm to read my email. Inside was a message from someone I am in a group with who basically told me that she did not appreciate or think it was appropriate for me to be sharing my negative thoughts about our group on the internet. That I should only share my happy and positive thoughts about the group.
I was surprised because of many reasons.
1. I thought this person was my friend and never saw it coming. I had no idea after knowing her for over year that she felt this way. She has been a facebook friend for almost that long and has had access to my blog and in that year has never once let on that anything I said bothered her.
2. Since when do friends "censor" each other and tell them what they can and cannot write or feel.
3. I have never said anything negative about the group or members itself, I have said that after meetings I have come home sad because of things that people have said or the way a discussion went. In that same blog I also said that I'm sure that nobody was trying to be hurtful, that it was probably me taking it the wrong way.
4. I have never "named names" and the only people that would ever know what happened at a meeting to identify it was that specific one were at that meeting - nobody else would know what I'm talking about. I don't know if I hit a nerve and made someone feel guilty for the way I was feeling or what. I know often I will read someones status and think "oops I have done or said that and I guess I probably shouldn't have, I didn't realize how much it would hurt another person".
5. I don't like drama or confrontation and I have very low self esteem. It is hard for me to admit that, but it's true. Over the years my self esteem has gone down further and further because of many situations in my past. (I don't want to get into them now but just trust that I am not being dramatic). My blog is my way of dealing with my feelings and sending them away into space so I don't hold onto them and let them fester.
I don't know if I'm wrong here. I don't know if they are wrong. What I did not appreciate more than anything was the fact that this person insinuated that it was "the group" who wanted her to email me and now I am finding out that that is not the case at all - more than likely it was just her who feels this way.
I feel so many things right now, I feel hurt, I feel betrayed, I feel chastised and I don't like that she is making me second guess myself. I have not gone around bashing anyone or trying to paint this group in a negative light. In fact, I like this group and am trying to do my best to keep it going despite the fact that it's dying a slow death.
Am I wrong here?
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Update on The Beast
The Beast is now 22 months old. He is still a beast. In fact, I would like to add a few more words to decribe him and his behavior but I'm sure that I would be reported for child abuse by some idiot out there who can't begin to understand what we go through with this child. It is always something.
Yesterday I was in a hurry, I was running late for a meeting and I still had to stop and buy some stuff before I went. I ran upstairs for one minute to pick out clothes for Jack and The Beast and when I came down I saw a mess in my kitchen. In the one minute it took me upstairs, the Beast had gotten into the fridge, taken out the carton of eggs and decided to throw them all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to clean up raw eggs off of the floor and cabinets? Do you know how much harder it is when you are in a hurry?
His speech is really catching up to where it should be, in fact, it is probably better than it should be. His speech therapist is amazing and has worked wonders with him. He pretty much copies every single thing you say so you have to be careful. I was driving the boys to daycare one day and stopped too far into the intersection. I pulled back and said "Oh Shit"....guess what the Beast went around chanting all day long....
One morning The Beast decided that he wanted cereal for breakfeast. I even put a little bit of milk in it because he kept saying "milk" and never seems to eat it dry. It just ends up on the floor all over the dining room. He is also obsessed with "forks" right now (really spoons) so I gave him a spoon. I watched him as he figured out what to do and he was happily eating his cereal. He looked up and smiled at me and seemed happy so I ran upstairs to use the restroom. By the time I got back downstairs he had taken the bowl of cereal and threw it across the dining room hitting the wall and smearing milk everywhere. We have carpet in our dining room, white carpet. (What the hell was anyone thinking putting white carpet in a dining room? It's the first thing going come spring) I swear when he saw that I was upset, he laughed.
I'm telling you, it's a good thing this kid is cute.
Yesterday I was in a hurry, I was running late for a meeting and I still had to stop and buy some stuff before I went. I ran upstairs for one minute to pick out clothes for Jack and The Beast and when I came down I saw a mess in my kitchen. In the one minute it took me upstairs, the Beast had gotten into the fridge, taken out the carton of eggs and decided to throw them all over the place. Do you know how hard it is to clean up raw eggs off of the floor and cabinets? Do you know how much harder it is when you are in a hurry?
His speech is really catching up to where it should be, in fact, it is probably better than it should be. His speech therapist is amazing and has worked wonders with him. He pretty much copies every single thing you say so you have to be careful. I was driving the boys to daycare one day and stopped too far into the intersection. I pulled back and said "Oh Shit"....guess what the Beast went around chanting all day long....
One morning The Beast decided that he wanted cereal for breakfeast. I even put a little bit of milk in it because he kept saying "milk" and never seems to eat it dry. It just ends up on the floor all over the dining room. He is also obsessed with "forks" right now (really spoons) so I gave him a spoon. I watched him as he figured out what to do and he was happily eating his cereal. He looked up and smiled at me and seemed happy so I ran upstairs to use the restroom. By the time I got back downstairs he had taken the bowl of cereal and threw it across the dining room hitting the wall and smearing milk everywhere. We have carpet in our dining room, white carpet. (What the hell was anyone thinking putting white carpet in a dining room? It's the first thing going come spring) I swear when he saw that I was upset, he laughed.
I'm telling you, it's a good thing this kid is cute.
It's Been Awhile
So it's been awhile since I've last blogged. Sometimes I feel too much pressure to make it funny or interesting and then I panic and don't write anything at all. I know it's silly but it's the truth. I tend to need to do things over the top or not at all. In fact, I am finding myself really pushing with my daughter and I need to figure out how to stop before I become one of those moms on "dance moms" or "toddlers and tiaras".
We went to my daughter's parent/teacher conferences. She is in second grade. My daughter is the type who when she does something, she almost always does it well. For example (and a mommy brag too), in school they were tested in three areas; Math, Reading and Verbal/Oral Communication. In Math, the goal was to receive a score of around 170 and she received a 180. In Reading, the goal was to receive a score of 163 and she got a 199. In Verbal/Oral Communication, the goal was to get a 43 and Olivia received a score of 99! This qualified her to be in a special reading program which is like a "book club" for second graders. Crazy hey? I cannot imagine, at 7 years old being smart and confident enough to be in a book club, heck I can't even imagine it now at age 34. I am so proud of her and think it's amazing that she did so well but in my mind, I see the 180 in Math and think she needs to work harder.
If that isn't crazy enough, Olivia is on a competitive dance team. She auditioned in the fall and made it on the team which is fantastic. She impressed her teacher enough to put her right in the front of the front row which is an awesome spot to be in when your in a group and then she received a special honor of "Student of the Month". The teacher said that they have never given the award to anyone under the age of 8 and at first I thought it was just for someone in their class but since then I have realized that she was chosen out of the entire dance academy. It is such an honor since some of those girls have been going there for years. Her dance teacher tested them last week on their dance and I just got the email with her results. The dance was split into two parts and they were scored on how well they are doing on the first half and second half with a score of 1, 2 or 3. 1 meaning that they are doing excellent and better than the average kids in the class, 2 meaning that they are doing average and 3 meaning they might need a private lesson because they are doing below average. Olivia received a 1 on the first part and a 2 on the second part. Right away I look at the 2 and think that she needs to practice more and needs to improve.
I know I'm being pyscho and I am working on it. I just want her to do well and I think it's because I have never been good at anything before. It all comes so easy to her, maybe I'm jealous? I think part of being a mom is you want your children to do their best and be the best.
We went to my daughter's parent/teacher conferences. She is in second grade. My daughter is the type who when she does something, she almost always does it well. For example (and a mommy brag too), in school they were tested in three areas; Math, Reading and Verbal/Oral Communication. In Math, the goal was to receive a score of around 170 and she received a 180. In Reading, the goal was to receive a score of 163 and she got a 199. In Verbal/Oral Communication, the goal was to get a 43 and Olivia received a score of 99! This qualified her to be in a special reading program which is like a "book club" for second graders. Crazy hey? I cannot imagine, at 7 years old being smart and confident enough to be in a book club, heck I can't even imagine it now at age 34. I am so proud of her and think it's amazing that she did so well but in my mind, I see the 180 in Math and think she needs to work harder.
If that isn't crazy enough, Olivia is on a competitive dance team. She auditioned in the fall and made it on the team which is fantastic. She impressed her teacher enough to put her right in the front of the front row which is an awesome spot to be in when your in a group and then she received a special honor of "Student of the Month". The teacher said that they have never given the award to anyone under the age of 8 and at first I thought it was just for someone in their class but since then I have realized that she was chosen out of the entire dance academy. It is such an honor since some of those girls have been going there for years. Her dance teacher tested them last week on their dance and I just got the email with her results. The dance was split into two parts and they were scored on how well they are doing on the first half and second half with a score of 1, 2 or 3. 1 meaning that they are doing excellent and better than the average kids in the class, 2 meaning that they are doing average and 3 meaning they might need a private lesson because they are doing below average. Olivia received a 1 on the first part and a 2 on the second part. Right away I look at the 2 and think that she needs to practice more and needs to improve.
I know I'm being pyscho and I am working on it. I just want her to do well and I think it's because I have never been good at anything before. It all comes so easy to her, maybe I'm jealous? I think part of being a mom is you want your children to do their best and be the best.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Feeling Like I Don't Belong
Do you ever feel like you are the only person who is the way you are? I am constantly feeling that way. I am a member of a group that I really love but everytime I go, it makes me question myself and whether or not I actually "belong" in that group. First of all, this is in NO way bashing the group at all, it is my own questions and my own feelings.
We sit down as a group and we discuss topics, mostly about parenting. Every single week, I leave that group discussion with a mix of emotions. I feel discouraged, I feel judged, I feel on the defensive and I feel sad. Nobody is intentionally making me feel that way, I know that and it's probably all me. I just feel that whenever we discuss something, every single person at the table feels one way and I feel another way and it's usually the exact opposite way of the group.
Here are a few examples: (These examples are not taken from the specific group that I met with today but another group I meet with on another day). The group I met with today discussed more about styles of parenting such as tv watching, limiting who your child can play with, etc.
When I hear people say how they could never work and never put their child in daycare because the thought of other people raising their child upsets them and then they say something about "Why have children if your going to stick them in daycare all of the time". As a mother who is a much better "working mother", how do you not feel hurt by that kind of comment.
Or I heard someone say that they went to a reunion and they were one of the only stay at home moms their and they felt judged by the others with an occupation. She then stated "well just because I actually like my children"....Seriously?
Another big one is when I say how I like to be my own person and like to go out and do things without my children and I get the response "Well my children are MY world". Like I don't love my children or something, of course I love them but I also like myself just a little bit too and feel like I deserve some time to be "Me".
Now don't get me wrong, I am fairly confident in my abilities as a parent and how I am bringing my children up and nobody else is going to change the way I do things just like nothing I say is going to make others change their minds. The thing is, I seem to always ask questions just to get other people's view on it and why they are thinking the way they do. When people don't ask you or seem interested in the way you do things, don't you think that maybe they are judging you or just think you are wrong and don't care? Maybe just a little?
I don't know and I don't really know what I am trying to accomplish with this blog entry, maybe just to air my feelings out and sort them out a little. I have been judged so much in the past for every single move I make as a parent because of my different views on things. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you handle those feelings? I tend to get myself so worked up about it and it's probably no big deal to other people.
We sit down as a group and we discuss topics, mostly about parenting. Every single week, I leave that group discussion with a mix of emotions. I feel discouraged, I feel judged, I feel on the defensive and I feel sad. Nobody is intentionally making me feel that way, I know that and it's probably all me. I just feel that whenever we discuss something, every single person at the table feels one way and I feel another way and it's usually the exact opposite way of the group.
Here are a few examples: (These examples are not taken from the specific group that I met with today but another group I meet with on another day). The group I met with today discussed more about styles of parenting such as tv watching, limiting who your child can play with, etc.
When I hear people say how they could never work and never put their child in daycare because the thought of other people raising their child upsets them and then they say something about "Why have children if your going to stick them in daycare all of the time". As a mother who is a much better "working mother", how do you not feel hurt by that kind of comment.
Or I heard someone say that they went to a reunion and they were one of the only stay at home moms their and they felt judged by the others with an occupation. She then stated "well just because I actually like my children"....Seriously?
Another big one is when I say how I like to be my own person and like to go out and do things without my children and I get the response "Well my children are MY world". Like I don't love my children or something, of course I love them but I also like myself just a little bit too and feel like I deserve some time to be "Me".
Now don't get me wrong, I am fairly confident in my abilities as a parent and how I am bringing my children up and nobody else is going to change the way I do things just like nothing I say is going to make others change their minds. The thing is, I seem to always ask questions just to get other people's view on it and why they are thinking the way they do. When people don't ask you or seem interested in the way you do things, don't you think that maybe they are judging you or just think you are wrong and don't care? Maybe just a little?
I don't know and I don't really know what I am trying to accomplish with this blog entry, maybe just to air my feelings out and sort them out a little. I have been judged so much in the past for every single move I make as a parent because of my different views on things. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you handle those feelings? I tend to get myself so worked up about it and it's probably no big deal to other people.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The 9th Anniversary of my 25th Birthday
I'm 34. I hate saying it. Yes, I realize that I am still young but I feel like my life is flying by. The thing is, I am not doing what I thought I'd be doing at this age. I honestly didn't even think I'd have children at this age. When I was in high school I would have been shocked if you told me that by the age of 34 I would have been married for 12 years and have 3 children under the age of 7. I would have been even more shocked to learn that I was a stay at home mom. Ok, not shocked but probably disgusted.
I had plans. I was going to go to college, major in Accounting or Economics and be a Stock Broker or an Accountant. I wanted to be an accountant for as long as I can remember. Well, that and a hairdresser. I love numbers. I love organized paperwork.
But, life had another plan for me. When I was 19 I met my husband. After 10 months, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. We married at 21 and owned our first house near Detroit, Michigan by the age of 23.
This might be a little too much information but I have always had "girlie issues" so I found an OB-GYN in Detroit and she helped me discover that I had endometriosis. Endometriosis is a medical condition in which cells from the lining of the uterus appear and flouris outside of the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus are influenced by hormonal changes and respond in a way that is similar to the cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms ofter worsen with the menstrual cycle. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
I had two surgeries to try and clean it all out but there was just too much and it was in places that it couldn't be cleaned from, like my ovaries. An inferility specialist did my second surgery and when he came in to talk to us after the surgery we were told basically "If you ever want to have children, now is the time or it may never happen". I was in shock, I wasn't ready to have a baby - when I got married I had put college on hold until we were settled down somewhere which was now. We thought long and hard about it and decided that we had better take the dr's advice and try now because we both knew we wanted a child someday, we were just hoping not now, more like in our 30s.
The rest is pretty much history - I put my life on hold to have children. Of course I couldn't imagine my life without them but I do get a little sad once in a while when I think about all that haven't accomplished yet and really hoped to.
I had plans. I was going to go to college, major in Accounting or Economics and be a Stock Broker or an Accountant. I wanted to be an accountant for as long as I can remember. Well, that and a hairdresser. I love numbers. I love organized paperwork.
But, life had another plan for me. When I was 19 I met my husband. After 10 months, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. We married at 21 and owned our first house near Detroit, Michigan by the age of 23.
This might be a little too much information but I have always had "girlie issues" so I found an OB-GYN in Detroit and she helped me discover that I had endometriosis. Endometriosis is a medical condition in which cells from the lining of the uterus appear and flouris outside of the uterine cavity, most commonly on the ovaries. The uterine cavity is lined by endometial cells, which are under the influence of female hormones. These endometrial-like cells in areas outside the uterus are influenced by hormonal changes and respond in a way that is similar to the cells found inside the uterus. Symptoms ofter worsen with the menstrual cycle. (From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
I had two surgeries to try and clean it all out but there was just too much and it was in places that it couldn't be cleaned from, like my ovaries. An inferility specialist did my second surgery and when he came in to talk to us after the surgery we were told basically "If you ever want to have children, now is the time or it may never happen". I was in shock, I wasn't ready to have a baby - when I got married I had put college on hold until we were settled down somewhere which was now. We thought long and hard about it and decided that we had better take the dr's advice and try now because we both knew we wanted a child someday, we were just hoping not now, more like in our 30s.
The rest is pretty much history - I put my life on hold to have children. Of course I couldn't imagine my life without them but I do get a little sad once in a while when I think about all that haven't accomplished yet and really hoped to.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Update on the Landlord Situation
Now that I have some time, I can update you all on the landlord situation. We were really torn over what to do, we just wanted it to be done and him to go away so we considered paying him. But, then we thought, he is just going to keep doing this to people and that is wrong too. However, it is not our responsibility to stop the big, bad landlord. So, as a compromise, Trevor wrote him a letter, a four page letter informing him that what he was doing was not only morally wrong but against the law. I will not bore you with the entire four page letter but I will include a few sections since I am so proud of it. He did not put any emotion into the letter but cold, hard facts.
Let's get to the rest of your itemization (this was after responding to him wanting us to reside the house due to cable installation). This is where I really was enlightened on Minnesota law and what a renter is really responsible for and what a landlord is really responsible for. I am assuming from this summary thatyou have either not studied Minnesota Stautue 5041B.161 or perhaps do not completely understand the meaning of it. Basically, the statute says that the landlord is responsible for the maintenance unless there is specific compesation to the tenant for doing this work. This means that you would have had to have a value in the lease for this maintenance such as reduced rent or payment for services. Therefore, none of the outside work that was done (trimming trees, etc) can be charged and non of the items that are considered standard maintenance items that were done on the inside of the house can be charged i.e. the water filter, batteries, mouse poison, light bulbs, etc.
He then basically then told him all of the good things that we did for him and not once asked to be compensated and how he cannot believe his obvious hatred towards us when we did nothing but take care of his home. He also told him how the last lawyer he spoke to just won a case that was pretty much identical to this one so there now is precendence on this subject. Trevor also informed him that by he asking us to have the septic tank pumped, which we did was actually against the law.
So after debating every single thing that the landlord had on the list, this is the final paragraph of the letter.
I am hoping that we can come to a reasonable agreement without taking this to court. This would be to the benefit of everyone as I am sure that you are as busy as I am right now. I absolutely do not want to go to court, but if that is what we have to do to get a resolution, then that is what we have to do. I will, however, tell you that if you make me go to court over this, I am going to go for back pay on the maintenance that we did on your house that I was not reimbursed for. I will charge the $25 epr house that you set as your rate and will add up all of the hours that we spent doing the things that you were responsible for, by law, to take care of. Normally this would just be mowing, shoveling and whatnot but you actually sent me a detailed list of things that were expected of me and I did most of them thoughout the lease. There was well over 100 hours alone in just the spring clean up. I will also add in $500 "bad faith" as allowed by the law for keeping my security deposit without charges that were within the law.
My suggestion to you is that you speak with a lawyer that knows the Minnesota rent laws and how they are applied. If anything, it may help you to avoid this type of confrontation in the future.
In about one week's time, we received an email from our prior landlord stating that "thank you for your letter, it was very informative. We are mailing out a check today, check number 4440 and you should receive it in 3-4 business days".
We received the check and all is done. So, my faith in humanity is starting to come back, just a little. Thank you to everyone who sent me emails and gave us advice, we truely appreciate it.
Let's get to the rest of your itemization (this was after responding to him wanting us to reside the house due to cable installation). This is where I really was enlightened on Minnesota law and what a renter is really responsible for and what a landlord is really responsible for. I am assuming from this summary thatyou have either not studied Minnesota Stautue 5041B.161 or perhaps do not completely understand the meaning of it. Basically, the statute says that the landlord is responsible for the maintenance unless there is specific compesation to the tenant for doing this work. This means that you would have had to have a value in the lease for this maintenance such as reduced rent or payment for services. Therefore, none of the outside work that was done (trimming trees, etc) can be charged and non of the items that are considered standard maintenance items that were done on the inside of the house can be charged i.e. the water filter, batteries, mouse poison, light bulbs, etc.
He then basically then told him all of the good things that we did for him and not once asked to be compensated and how he cannot believe his obvious hatred towards us when we did nothing but take care of his home. He also told him how the last lawyer he spoke to just won a case that was pretty much identical to this one so there now is precendence on this subject. Trevor also informed him that by he asking us to have the septic tank pumped, which we did was actually against the law.
So after debating every single thing that the landlord had on the list, this is the final paragraph of the letter.
I am hoping that we can come to a reasonable agreement without taking this to court. This would be to the benefit of everyone as I am sure that you are as busy as I am right now. I absolutely do not want to go to court, but if that is what we have to do to get a resolution, then that is what we have to do. I will, however, tell you that if you make me go to court over this, I am going to go for back pay on the maintenance that we did on your house that I was not reimbursed for. I will charge the $25 epr house that you set as your rate and will add up all of the hours that we spent doing the things that you were responsible for, by law, to take care of. Normally this would just be mowing, shoveling and whatnot but you actually sent me a detailed list of things that were expected of me and I did most of them thoughout the lease. There was well over 100 hours alone in just the spring clean up. I will also add in $500 "bad faith" as allowed by the law for keeping my security deposit without charges that were within the law.
My suggestion to you is that you speak with a lawyer that knows the Minnesota rent laws and how they are applied. If anything, it may help you to avoid this type of confrontation in the future.
In about one week's time, we received an email from our prior landlord stating that "thank you for your letter, it was very informative. We are mailing out a check today, check number 4440 and you should receive it in 3-4 business days".
We received the check and all is done. So, my faith in humanity is starting to come back, just a little. Thank you to everyone who sent me emails and gave us advice, we truely appreciate it.
Cheeseburger Soup
With it being the first day of fall, it brings my favorite food season. The season of SOUP. I found the most amazing soup recipe through a friend of mine, it has now become one of my favorites. I am going to make a batch tonight to put into individual serving size containers and freeze for those days I don't feel like cooking or just want to curl up with a great bowl of soup. I will post a picture tonight once I have it made.
Mexican Casserole
Our family loves Mexican but with The Beast it is extremely hard to go out to a nice Mexican Restaurant because it just becomes more embarrassment and work than worth it. So, I have been on the hunt for a perfect Mexican or Taco Casserole. We have tried probably 10 and they have been good but just not the one. I think I finally found the one so I thought I'd share it with you - even all three of the kids loved it!!
Mexican Casserole
1 bag of corn chips, crushed
2 cans of refried beans
fresh cilantro, chopped
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of black olives
1 can of black beans
1 can of nacho cheese soup
1 (2cup) pkg of shredded mexican cheese
1 lb of ground beef
1 pkg of taco seasoning
Brown ground beef and add taco seasoning plus 1/2 cup of water. In a 9x13 pan, make a single layer of crushed corn chips. Then begin to layer the other ingredients i.e. refried beans, black beans, taco seasoned meat, 1 cup of shredded cheese, chopped cilantro, black olives, soup and tomatoes. Top with the additional 1 cup of shredded cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. I topped each serving with a dollap of sour cream and garnished with some whole corn chips. You could serve it with brown rice.
Mexican Casserole
1 bag of corn chips, crushed
2 cans of refried beans
fresh cilantro, chopped
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 can of black olives
1 can of black beans
1 can of nacho cheese soup
1 (2cup) pkg of shredded mexican cheese
1 lb of ground beef
1 pkg of taco seasoning
Brown ground beef and add taco seasoning plus 1/2 cup of water. In a 9x13 pan, make a single layer of crushed corn chips. Then begin to layer the other ingredients i.e. refried beans, black beans, taco seasoned meat, 1 cup of shredded cheese, chopped cilantro, black olives, soup and tomatoes. Top with the additional 1 cup of shredded cheese.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. I topped each serving with a dollap of sour cream and garnished with some whole corn chips. You could serve it with brown rice.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Need a little Help from my Friends
I apologize in advance, this blog might be a little random but lately I've had a lot on my mind when it comes to the topic of "Friends" (and I don't mean the TV show).
I have lived here for one year now. Last year this time, I saw myself fitting into a group of friends and having a little bit of a life but it really hasn't happened yet. Don't get me wrong, I have met a lot of amazing people here, people that I would desperately (it's embarrassing to use that word, but it is what it is) love to consider close friends, people that I would love to be able to call up and hang out with but it just hasn't happened. It's starting to feel a little bit like Roseau all over again. So, it makes me wonder....
1) Do people just not like me? I am not looking for pity or sympathy or a pat on the back here at all. But, when you repeatedly try to plan things and people just don't seem interested, it has to make you wonder right?
2) Are people just lazy? Do people just not feel like putting the energy into actually leaving their house and going out to do something? I will admit, I am a TV addict and I love my computer but if someone were to call me up and see if I wanted to go to a movie or for dinner and drinks, I'd be all about that.
3) Do other people just have enough friends already? Maybe it is all about quality over quantity? Maybe people here already have enough friends and they don't feel they need one more.
I just want to know what it is. I am not going to lie, I need friends. I need someone that I can call when I need to vent or have a funny story to share. I like to have someone to go out with and have a good time away from my husband and children. I've never had a best friend so I don't even know what it's like to have that one person that can read your mind and is always there no matter what or how long it's been since you've seen each other. I have friends, I have a lot of people that I consider really great friends, unfortunately they don't live near me....they live in Michigan, Northern Minnesota, Alabama, Wisconsin, etc.
Don't women like good old fashioned "Girl's Nights" anymore? When we bought our house I thought it would be fun to have a party of some sort. Summer went by so fast that I never got to have the BBQ that I was hoping to throw as a housewarming thing. So, I decided to have an Uppercase Living Party instead. The products are fun and affordable and they just came out with a jewelry line, what woman doesn't like jewelry right? Well, I ended up postponing my party because I only got responses from 3 people. Pathetic hey? I'm actually really embarrassed to admit that only 3 people wanted to come. I don't even care if people order anything, I just want to have a fun, old fashioned girls night with some wine, some food and great company.
So, I am going to try this again - I schedule another party the night before my birthday. I am really hoping to get a good turn out. I need a night of fun.
I have lived here for one year now. Last year this time, I saw myself fitting into a group of friends and having a little bit of a life but it really hasn't happened yet. Don't get me wrong, I have met a lot of amazing people here, people that I would desperately (it's embarrassing to use that word, but it is what it is) love to consider close friends, people that I would love to be able to call up and hang out with but it just hasn't happened. It's starting to feel a little bit like Roseau all over again. So, it makes me wonder....
1) Do people just not like me? I am not looking for pity or sympathy or a pat on the back here at all. But, when you repeatedly try to plan things and people just don't seem interested, it has to make you wonder right?
2) Are people just lazy? Do people just not feel like putting the energy into actually leaving their house and going out to do something? I will admit, I am a TV addict and I love my computer but if someone were to call me up and see if I wanted to go to a movie or for dinner and drinks, I'd be all about that.
3) Do other people just have enough friends already? Maybe it is all about quality over quantity? Maybe people here already have enough friends and they don't feel they need one more.
I just want to know what it is. I am not going to lie, I need friends. I need someone that I can call when I need to vent or have a funny story to share. I like to have someone to go out with and have a good time away from my husband and children. I've never had a best friend so I don't even know what it's like to have that one person that can read your mind and is always there no matter what or how long it's been since you've seen each other. I have friends, I have a lot of people that I consider really great friends, unfortunately they don't live near me....they live in Michigan, Northern Minnesota, Alabama, Wisconsin, etc.
Don't women like good old fashioned "Girl's Nights" anymore? When we bought our house I thought it would be fun to have a party of some sort. Summer went by so fast that I never got to have the BBQ that I was hoping to throw as a housewarming thing. So, I decided to have an Uppercase Living Party instead. The products are fun and affordable and they just came out with a jewelry line, what woman doesn't like jewelry right? Well, I ended up postponing my party because I only got responses from 3 people. Pathetic hey? I'm actually really embarrassed to admit that only 3 people wanted to come. I don't even care if people order anything, I just want to have a fun, old fashioned girls night with some wine, some food and great company.
So, I am going to try this again - I schedule another party the night before my birthday. I am really hoping to get a good turn out. I need a night of fun.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Frazzled Mom
I want to know how other mom's do it. To have more than one child in school and in all sorts of activities and still seem so put together. I get so completely overwhelmed that I want to shut down and take the kids out of everything and just be lazy. I don't, but I want to.
Olivia, my oldest is in second grade this year. She likes structure and loves to keep busy. She is very competitive and so we like to have her involved in as much as we can, she is just a happier person that way and then I am a happier mama. This year, she is in Girl Scouts, Tai Kwon Do and has just made a Competitive Dance Team so she will have competitions and recitals thru the year. Jackson just entered preschool three afternoons a week and also take Tai Kwon Do. The Beast does his normal Early Intervention each week but I have also enrolled him (and Jackson) into ECFE which is Early Childhood and Family Education and I'm interviewing daycare's for him to go one or two afternooon's a week. That along with my MOMS group, which I have taken on a leadership role in is making me very anxious. I worry that I just can't keep up with it all.
Here is our new schedule:
Mondays - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Girl Scouts every other week
Tuesdays - MOMS group, Pick up Olivia from school and bring her to dance from 4-6
Wednesdays - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Possibly afternoon daycare for The Beast, Tai Kwon Do from 6:30-7:30
Thursdays - ECFE in the mornings, Early Intervention (in our home) in the afternoons
Friday - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Possible afternoon daycare for The Beast
Now that I write this, it really doesn't seem like that much does it? I know others have so much more going on, I feel like maybe I am forgetting something.......
Olivia, my oldest is in second grade this year. She likes structure and loves to keep busy. She is very competitive and so we like to have her involved in as much as we can, she is just a happier person that way and then I am a happier mama. This year, she is in Girl Scouts, Tai Kwon Do and has just made a Competitive Dance Team so she will have competitions and recitals thru the year. Jackson just entered preschool three afternoons a week and also take Tai Kwon Do. The Beast does his normal Early Intervention each week but I have also enrolled him (and Jackson) into ECFE which is Early Childhood and Family Education and I'm interviewing daycare's for him to go one or two afternooon's a week. That along with my MOMS group, which I have taken on a leadership role in is making me very anxious. I worry that I just can't keep up with it all.
Here is our new schedule:
Mondays - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Girl Scouts every other week
Tuesdays - MOMS group, Pick up Olivia from school and bring her to dance from 4-6
Wednesdays - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Possibly afternoon daycare for The Beast, Tai Kwon Do from 6:30-7:30
Thursdays - ECFE in the mornings, Early Intervention (in our home) in the afternoons
Friday - Jackson afternoon Preschool, Possible afternoon daycare for The Beast
Now that I write this, it really doesn't seem like that much does it? I know others have so much more going on, I feel like maybe I am forgetting something.......
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
7 Year Old Hairdresser
So, this morning I was looking at my 7 year old daughter and I noticed something funny with her hair. She had some chunks missing. This is very disappointing because we have been through this about 3 or 4 times now. My 7 year old daughter apparently deems herself a hairdresser because she keeps cutting her hair. I don't understand why she keeps doing it because I flip out and fly off the handle everytime she does it. Last year this time she had gorgeous long blonde hair that she decided to layer and give herself a little whisp of bangs, right before her dance recital and aunt's wedding I might add.
The cutting of the hair is bad enough but when I asked her about it, she lied to me. She knew what she did was wrong and she went to a new friend's house yesterday so she totally threw her little sister under the bus and tried to blame her. I saw right through it and finally got the truth out of her. Which I might add was so stupid. She said she had some goober type stuff in her hair so she snipped it out. Seriously, what is wrong with these kids?
To some of you, this might not be a big deal. But, to me there are two things that send me over the mommy cliff that I flip out over. 1. When children take markers or pens and write all over themselves. I hate that. I am not a huge fan of tattoos or strange piercings so maybe that has something to do with it but I absolutely cannot deal with children covered in marker. Just ask my prior daycare provider, she was always terrified when the kids got a mark on themselves with pen or marker....lol. 2. When children cut their own hair. It looks horrible and rarely can you do anything to make it look nice.
So, now for the punishment. In the past I have taken away all of the scissors in the house and made her ask me to use them while I watch her every move with them and constantly embarrass her by saying "your not going to cut your hair with those right?". It obviously has not worked. Time to take some extreme measures. We already had plans today to go to the beach and it is with Jackson's friends too so I wasn't about to punish him. Being Olivia's brother is already punishment enough sometimes. And, she has a party for her old Girl Scout troop tonight so they can say goodbye to her since we moved to a new school district. But, other that those two things, she is spending every waking moment in her bedroom and only allowed to come out to 1) eat a meal, 2) clean up the toy room when the boys mess it and 3) to go to Tai Kwon Do class tomorrow.
I am also contemplating making her pay for her own haircut to fix it. She has been saving up money to buy something she really wants and finally has the $21 it costs. I am thinking that maybe that money should be put towards her haircut to fix the mess she has made before school starts.
Thought?
The cutting of the hair is bad enough but when I asked her about it, she lied to me. She knew what she did was wrong and she went to a new friend's house yesterday so she totally threw her little sister under the bus and tried to blame her. I saw right through it and finally got the truth out of her. Which I might add was so stupid. She said she had some goober type stuff in her hair so she snipped it out. Seriously, what is wrong with these kids?
To some of you, this might not be a big deal. But, to me there are two things that send me over the mommy cliff that I flip out over. 1. When children take markers or pens and write all over themselves. I hate that. I am not a huge fan of tattoos or strange piercings so maybe that has something to do with it but I absolutely cannot deal with children covered in marker. Just ask my prior daycare provider, she was always terrified when the kids got a mark on themselves with pen or marker....lol. 2. When children cut their own hair. It looks horrible and rarely can you do anything to make it look nice.
So, now for the punishment. In the past I have taken away all of the scissors in the house and made her ask me to use them while I watch her every move with them and constantly embarrass her by saying "your not going to cut your hair with those right?". It obviously has not worked. Time to take some extreme measures. We already had plans today to go to the beach and it is with Jackson's friends too so I wasn't about to punish him. Being Olivia's brother is already punishment enough sometimes. And, she has a party for her old Girl Scout troop tonight so they can say goodbye to her since we moved to a new school district. But, other that those two things, she is spending every waking moment in her bedroom and only allowed to come out to 1) eat a meal, 2) clean up the toy room when the boys mess it and 3) to go to Tai Kwon Do class tomorrow.
I am also contemplating making her pay for her own haircut to fix it. She has been saving up money to buy something she really wants and finally has the $21 it costs. I am thinking that maybe that money should be put towards her haircut to fix the mess she has made before school starts.
Thought?
Friday, August 19, 2011
A Stream of Bad Luck
First off, I want to apologize because I am kind of having a feeling sorry for myself morning. I realize that my life is not bad and I do have so many good things going on and how fortunate I am. But, the last couple weeks have been one thing on top of another. I feel like I either did something to piss off the karma gods or am going through a streak of bad luck. I am over it.
The first thing was the whole ex landlord thing. Which still isn't resolved...we are in limbo waiting for him to come back with the "you have to replace the siding quote". From our understanding, he has until August 21st to give us something. Then, we will decide what to do from there. I highly doubt he has a case but it's the whole point of us having to fight him to not only get our security deposit back but to get the judge to tell him he is not getting anything else from us. This is causing us stress, we are worried because the justice system isn't always fair. I have anxiety and it's really hard to just let it go and forget about it when you have anxiety.
Then, this weekend I was excited because I sold a bunch of my stuff on ebay. I listed a bunch of items for a friend who was going to give me a cut of the profit she made but nothing of hers is selling so it seems that I wasted my time and hers with that. I was looking forward to making a few bucks off of doing something that I like but I don't think it's going to happen. In fact, I am just going to lose about 30 cents and the rest of my free listings for the rest of the month. (I get so many "free listings" each month and I used a bunch on her stuff to help her out). I'm not upset over it so don't get me wrong, just bummed. Anyway, back to my point. I sold a bunch of my stuff and was in the middle of printing out labels and my printer died. So, now I can't print out anything. I had to hand write all of the labels and then take them to the Post Office so they could get the postage. Most of the time, the Post Offices get annoyed with me because I bring in about 20 packages and three kids. Enough Said.
My laptop also died this week. I don't know what happened to it but it will not do anything. It's annoying because I saved up my ebay money for months to buy that and was so happy to have something of my own, something that only I could use. As most of you know, when you become a mom, you don't have much that is just yours anymore. Plus, my desktop is downstairs and it was nice to have something to play on while I was watching The Beast in the living room. I pretty much have to gate him into a one room space or he gets into everything. With him around, I am trapped to basically watching tv because if I leave the room for a second, he gets into something he's not supposed to or is destroying something.
Then, my cell phone won't connect to the internet. I use my cell phone to play on facebook and do foursquare plus twitter and games like words with friends and I can't right now. It is driving me crazy. It's also a touch screen and it's very "sticky" like right now. I can touch something and it hesitates or gets stuck and the phone is only one year old. I just don't have the money to go out and buy another $400 phone.
Those things are trivial yes but put together it's kind of annoying. There is also another thing that is going on but I don't want to talk about it publicly right now. I have a decision to make and need to without the people involved knowing. It's nothing big, just something I have to figure out. Let's just say it affects the only socializing I get around here right now so it's frustrating.
This week I have also taken Olivia, my 7 year old to 3 dance studios because she is dying to get back into dance. She is good at it and she needs to stay busy. It is frustrating because dance is so expensive. Where we used to live it wasn't bad at all and very affordable. Here, the prices are crazy to me, especially since we are living on one income. I hate feeling like I am not contributing to the family expenses. I hate having to scale back and not do everything we want to do or want the kids to do. We are not poor and my husband makes a good amount of money so I don't understand how all of these other one income families can afford to have their child in every single activity and go on all of these family vacations, etc. I don't think we are doing anything wrong. I keep applying for jobs but I can't even get called for an interview. It's very frustrating and it's making me feel like I am worthless and I don't like that feeling. I hate being a stay at home mom and I feel each day I am getting more and more depressed.
I'm sorry this blog is such a downer. It's just the mood I've been in lately. I need to snap out of it, I know. It's just figuring out how.
The first thing was the whole ex landlord thing. Which still isn't resolved...we are in limbo waiting for him to come back with the "you have to replace the siding quote". From our understanding, he has until August 21st to give us something. Then, we will decide what to do from there. I highly doubt he has a case but it's the whole point of us having to fight him to not only get our security deposit back but to get the judge to tell him he is not getting anything else from us. This is causing us stress, we are worried because the justice system isn't always fair. I have anxiety and it's really hard to just let it go and forget about it when you have anxiety.
Then, this weekend I was excited because I sold a bunch of my stuff on ebay. I listed a bunch of items for a friend who was going to give me a cut of the profit she made but nothing of hers is selling so it seems that I wasted my time and hers with that. I was looking forward to making a few bucks off of doing something that I like but I don't think it's going to happen. In fact, I am just going to lose about 30 cents and the rest of my free listings for the rest of the month. (I get so many "free listings" each month and I used a bunch on her stuff to help her out). I'm not upset over it so don't get me wrong, just bummed. Anyway, back to my point. I sold a bunch of my stuff and was in the middle of printing out labels and my printer died. So, now I can't print out anything. I had to hand write all of the labels and then take them to the Post Office so they could get the postage. Most of the time, the Post Offices get annoyed with me because I bring in about 20 packages and three kids. Enough Said.
My laptop also died this week. I don't know what happened to it but it will not do anything. It's annoying because I saved up my ebay money for months to buy that and was so happy to have something of my own, something that only I could use. As most of you know, when you become a mom, you don't have much that is just yours anymore. Plus, my desktop is downstairs and it was nice to have something to play on while I was watching The Beast in the living room. I pretty much have to gate him into a one room space or he gets into everything. With him around, I am trapped to basically watching tv because if I leave the room for a second, he gets into something he's not supposed to or is destroying something.
Then, my cell phone won't connect to the internet. I use my cell phone to play on facebook and do foursquare plus twitter and games like words with friends and I can't right now. It is driving me crazy. It's also a touch screen and it's very "sticky" like right now. I can touch something and it hesitates or gets stuck and the phone is only one year old. I just don't have the money to go out and buy another $400 phone.
Those things are trivial yes but put together it's kind of annoying. There is also another thing that is going on but I don't want to talk about it publicly right now. I have a decision to make and need to without the people involved knowing. It's nothing big, just something I have to figure out. Let's just say it affects the only socializing I get around here right now so it's frustrating.
This week I have also taken Olivia, my 7 year old to 3 dance studios because she is dying to get back into dance. She is good at it and she needs to stay busy. It is frustrating because dance is so expensive. Where we used to live it wasn't bad at all and very affordable. Here, the prices are crazy to me, especially since we are living on one income. I hate feeling like I am not contributing to the family expenses. I hate having to scale back and not do everything we want to do or want the kids to do. We are not poor and my husband makes a good amount of money so I don't understand how all of these other one income families can afford to have their child in every single activity and go on all of these family vacations, etc. I don't think we are doing anything wrong. I keep applying for jobs but I can't even get called for an interview. It's very frustrating and it's making me feel like I am worthless and I don't like that feeling. I hate being a stay at home mom and I feel each day I am getting more and more depressed.
I'm sorry this blog is such a downer. It's just the mood I've been in lately. I need to snap out of it, I know. It's just figuring out how.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
THE LIST
As you guys might know, our prior landlord is trying to screw us over bigtime. He is not only NOT giving us our $1000 security deposit back, but he is trying to get an additional $689.96 out of us. Here is the "List" of why he is not giving it back to us.
Shampoo for carpet cleaning $8.49,
Murphy soap for cupboards $2.97,
Mr. Clean for floors and exterior $3.19,
Mouse Poison for crawl space $0 Lost receipt,
Air Fresheners $0 Lost receipt,
Wood for screen door $5.48,
Garage Door repaired $169.00
floors, pick up expired poison boxes and put new mouse poison in crawlspace.
our house, you both will be responsible for this repair also).
56Hours x $25per hour = $1400.00
I am at a complete loss of words - I cleaned that place from top to bottom before we left - he also locked us out two of the days that we paid for so if he had problems, we couldn't even go back in and fix them if we wanted. There are a few things on there that are completely reasonable but about 95% of it is crazy. I don't even know what to do.......
PARTS
Salt for water softener $37.40,
Whole House Water Filter $ 10.99,
Fridge filter $39.99,
Light bulbs pink room $2.58,
Light Bulbs downstairs $0 Lost Receipt,
Light bulbs dining room $3.99,
Bug spray for foundation $5.88, Shampoo for carpet cleaning $8.49,
Murphy soap for cupboards $2.97,
Mr. Clean for floors and exterior $3.19,
Mouse Poison for crawl space $0 Lost receipt,
Air Fresheners $0 Lost receipt,
Wood for screen door $5.48,
Garage Door repaired $169.00
INSIDE HOUSE TASKS COMPLETED
Clean inside windows, wash window screens, wipe trim of all windows and doors, scrub paint
from carpet, vacuum all carpets, shampoo all carpets, fill water softener tank with salt, change
whole house water filter, clean out dryer lint trap, scrub stains from bath tub, scrub stains from
kitchen sink, replace 3 light bulbs in kitchen light, replace one light bulb in pink bedroom, clean
out “J” trap in bathroom sink, replace 9 volt batteries in both water alarms (under kitchen sink
and laundry room wash basin), replace 9 volt battery in upstairs smoke alarm, put trim back on
basement wall, put screen on washer discharge hose, clean stove top burners, clean oven, clean
out microwave, put dining room curtains back on, mop bathroom floor, put living room curtains
back on, wash hand railings on both interior stairways, put shower curtain back on, put bathroom
carpets back in room, wipe dust from all 5 ceiling fans, replace 2 bulbs in downstairs family
room lights, wipe out inside and outside of all kitchen cabinets, mop kitchen and dining room
floors, pick up expired poison boxes and put new mouse poison in crawlspace.
OUTSIDE HOUSE TASKS COMPLETED & PENDING
Trim tree limbs off of roof of house, unplug rear gutter on screened patio and clean out, clean out
front and rear house gutters, trim bushes off front split rail fence, fill hole from septic servicing,
mow and water yard, clean mold off of garage door, sweep out garage, wash front entry way of
house, clean outside windows, fix fence post in back yard, fix torn and broken screen door on
patio, scrub mold from cement on driveway apron by garage, spray foundation for ants and bugs.
(We are also getting bids to reside the house, which will properly return the house and siding to
pre-lease conditions, as your cable installation was done against our instructions and damaged
our house, you both will be responsible for this repair also).
LABOR TO COMPLETE THE ABOVE TASKS
Saturday July 30
4Hours each x 2 people = 8Hours for day
Sunday July 31
8Hours each x 2 people = 16Hours for day
Monday August 1
8Hours each x 2 people = 16Hours for day
Tuesday August 2
8Hours each x 2 people = 16Hours for day
56Hours x $25per hour = $1400.00
I am at a complete loss of words - I cleaned that place from top to bottom before we left - he also locked us out two of the days that we paid for so if he had problems, we couldn't even go back in and fix them if we wanted. There are a few things on there that are completely reasonable but about 95% of it is crazy. I don't even know what to do.......
Monday, August 1, 2011
When have people become so selfish?
This is a question that I have asked myself for a while now. Don't you feel like everyone in the world just purely cares about themselves anymore and kindness and appreciate, not to mention respect for others have gone out the window?
I have many examples of people being selfish. But the one that put me over the edge happened to us just yesterday. I hesitate even posting about it publicly because it's kind of embarrassing but I feel that blogging will help me "let go" of the anger I have about the whole subject.
As many of you know, we just recently purchased a home in the northern Minneapolis area. Anyway, last August we signed a lease to rent a private party's home in Stacy, Minnesota. It was a nice enough house but nothing special. We found it on Craigslist and never met the owner because he lived in South Dakota at the time. We went and looked at it and were happy with it at that moment. It was the right price and fit our family until we found a home of our own. We were honest with the guy that we had a pet and children. He was honest with us about how he wanted someone who would really take care of his home and emailed us a long list of things that were required of us if we live there. This list was so long, it scared me at first because it was a lot of things that landlords should be doing, not the tenants. But, we signed anyway and lived in the house for just under a year. The house has 5 acres and a lot of pretty landscaping, including a huge pond with flowers everywhere. The house was very outdated, I'm talking 1970's peach outdated and needed a lot of work if you were to buy it. We paid our rent on time every month and took care of the home like it was our own. We never left a mark on a wall or stained a carpet and we put a lot of our own money into fixing some things and making the yard beautiful. I even asked the owner if I could update the paint for him, he would pay for the paint and supplies and I would do it for free. And, let me tell you, painting every room in a house with three kids is not easy. Throw in a car accident right in the middle and it made it even harder. But, I got it done and used nice light colors to brighten up the place.
This weekend, we moved out of the house and my husband met up with the owners on Saturday morning to walk thru the place. Everything seemed fine. Our Ranger was in the pole building and we had some garbage in the garage but the owners said to take our time getting them out because they hadn't found anyone to rent the place. (He really wanted to sell it because they now live in Texas but they are quite delusional on what they think the place is worth, the appraiser and the realitor both told him that they would never get near what they wanted for the place). Anyway, yesterday, the guy owner called my husband and started going off on him about how pissed off they were at us and how we "trashed" their house and completely "destroyed" their yard and how the place was left a "disgusting mess". My husband thought it was a joke because we cleaned that whole place from top to bottom and made sure it was in better shape than when we moved in. When we moved in, it was a horrible dirty mess, cobwebs and dirt everywhere and bugs in the windows, you know, you could tell it hadn't been cleaned after the last people left. Not to mention, the kitchen was just primed and when they did paint, they dripped everywhere and did a horrible job. The owner also said that (even though we were paid thru today) to come over immediately and get all of our stuff out right away, he is done with us. We are completely dumbfounded because it doesn't even make sense what he is saying. Anyone who has been in the house would support us in the fact that we did not destroy the house, that we have improved it.
What I have decided is that they are mad that nobody else wants to rent the place so they are taking it out on us and trying to have a case to keep our $1000 security deposit. That is the only thing I can think of because it is not destroyed at all. My heart just aches that someone would accuse us of destroying their home, we are not that kind of people. We are kind people who take care of things no matter whose things they are. We are certainly not the kind of people who would trash someone else's house and destroy their yard. I wish I could just let it go, but I just can't, it makes me so sad that other people can be like that. People are so shady anymore and only looking out for themselves.
I hate to say it but it has really changed me in the last five years. I used to be that person who was always thinking about someone else and doing things for others. You know, that person who when someone's mother dies, I would cook a meal and bring it over. Or someone was having a baby and I would cook a meal and bring it over and give you some baby clothes that I had laying around the house without asking for a thing in return. I would do my best to remember events going on in other people's lives and remember to email or call and check up on them to see how they are doing, etc. Gradually I am finding myself not caring anymore because it seems like nobody even appreciates it. That makes me really sad.
I have many examples of people being selfish. But the one that put me over the edge happened to us just yesterday. I hesitate even posting about it publicly because it's kind of embarrassing but I feel that blogging will help me "let go" of the anger I have about the whole subject.
As many of you know, we just recently purchased a home in the northern Minneapolis area. Anyway, last August we signed a lease to rent a private party's home in Stacy, Minnesota. It was a nice enough house but nothing special. We found it on Craigslist and never met the owner because he lived in South Dakota at the time. We went and looked at it and were happy with it at that moment. It was the right price and fit our family until we found a home of our own. We were honest with the guy that we had a pet and children. He was honest with us about how he wanted someone who would really take care of his home and emailed us a long list of things that were required of us if we live there. This list was so long, it scared me at first because it was a lot of things that landlords should be doing, not the tenants. But, we signed anyway and lived in the house for just under a year. The house has 5 acres and a lot of pretty landscaping, including a huge pond with flowers everywhere. The house was very outdated, I'm talking 1970's peach outdated and needed a lot of work if you were to buy it. We paid our rent on time every month and took care of the home like it was our own. We never left a mark on a wall or stained a carpet and we put a lot of our own money into fixing some things and making the yard beautiful. I even asked the owner if I could update the paint for him, he would pay for the paint and supplies and I would do it for free. And, let me tell you, painting every room in a house with three kids is not easy. Throw in a car accident right in the middle and it made it even harder. But, I got it done and used nice light colors to brighten up the place.
This weekend, we moved out of the house and my husband met up with the owners on Saturday morning to walk thru the place. Everything seemed fine. Our Ranger was in the pole building and we had some garbage in the garage but the owners said to take our time getting them out because they hadn't found anyone to rent the place. (He really wanted to sell it because they now live in Texas but they are quite delusional on what they think the place is worth, the appraiser and the realitor both told him that they would never get near what they wanted for the place). Anyway, yesterday, the guy owner called my husband and started going off on him about how pissed off they were at us and how we "trashed" their house and completely "destroyed" their yard and how the place was left a "disgusting mess". My husband thought it was a joke because we cleaned that whole place from top to bottom and made sure it was in better shape than when we moved in. When we moved in, it was a horrible dirty mess, cobwebs and dirt everywhere and bugs in the windows, you know, you could tell it hadn't been cleaned after the last people left. Not to mention, the kitchen was just primed and when they did paint, they dripped everywhere and did a horrible job. The owner also said that (even though we were paid thru today) to come over immediately and get all of our stuff out right away, he is done with us. We are completely dumbfounded because it doesn't even make sense what he is saying. Anyone who has been in the house would support us in the fact that we did not destroy the house, that we have improved it.
What I have decided is that they are mad that nobody else wants to rent the place so they are taking it out on us and trying to have a case to keep our $1000 security deposit. That is the only thing I can think of because it is not destroyed at all. My heart just aches that someone would accuse us of destroying their home, we are not that kind of people. We are kind people who take care of things no matter whose things they are. We are certainly not the kind of people who would trash someone else's house and destroy their yard. I wish I could just let it go, but I just can't, it makes me so sad that other people can be like that. People are so shady anymore and only looking out for themselves.
I hate to say it but it has really changed me in the last five years. I used to be that person who was always thinking about someone else and doing things for others. You know, that person who when someone's mother dies, I would cook a meal and bring it over. Or someone was having a baby and I would cook a meal and bring it over and give you some baby clothes that I had laying around the house without asking for a thing in return. I would do my best to remember events going on in other people's lives and remember to email or call and check up on them to see how they are doing, etc. Gradually I am finding myself not caring anymore because it seems like nobody even appreciates it. That makes me really sad.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
What to Do?
Being a mother is probably the hardest job in the world. I don't care what anyone says - it just is. You are responsible for another life (or in some case multiple lives). It is your responsibility to make sure they they grow up happy and healthy.
As you all know, I really struggle with my youngest son Noah aka The Beast. His behavior just isn't getting any better and he is still not sleeping through the night. He is 18 months old and should not be waking up multiple times a night for a bottle. His dr wants me to get rid of the bottle but he just doesn't understand, if he is getting up for a bottle and there isn't one, what the hell am I going to do? How am I going to get any sleep?
The Beast has been seeing a Speech Therapist, and Occupational Therapist and an Early Intervention Teacher once a week. It has been brought up multiple times by EI (both with his last and with his new one - we moved and had to switch school districts) that he could possibly have Sensory Processing Disorder. Back when he was about 2 months old, my friend who is a therapist actually brought this up to me but I kind of shrugged it off after reading about it on line. Then, a few months ago a friend, whose children have it, brought it up to me too. It is in the back of my mind that he could possibly have this. The Beast does some things that could be taken as "normal" (I hate using that word) but when you look at the whole spectrum of his behavior, could make it all make perfect sense.
For those of you who aren't familiar, it is a relatively new thing: Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses
-The Beast thrives when others around and being outside. It's like when he is trapped inside, he just goes crazy. He just paces from one thing to another, not really playing with one thing ever. He also never quits moving. As a newborn, you could pick him up and he was constantly moving his hands and legs and he absolutely HATES to be confined in anyway.
-He wouldn't take a pacifier until around the age of 16 months. It was very strange, I tried and tried to get him to take one and finally gave up. Then, he found one in his toy box, tried it out and hasn't taken it out of his mouth since. It has made a world of difference for soothing him. It has also made "transferring" him from the car to his crib when he falls asleep much easier.
-He loves to play with the tag on his blanket. When he is upset and has his blanket, he searches and searches for that tag and either plays with it with his hands or rubs it on his nose or face.
-My baby does not like to be held. He never has, not unless you are standing up with him. He is not affectionate and when you try to cuddle him, he arches his back and pushes away from you.
-He gets VERY distressed by diaper changes, taking clothes off and putting them on, cutting his nails, washing his face or hair
-At 18 months old, he is still not very good at things such as using a spoon and fork, drinking from a cup (he prefers the bottle no matter what), cannot identify body parts, is only speaking maybe 3 words, still puts almost everything in his mouth and loves extreme heat. (The only two nights he has ever slept thru the night was when he had a temp of at least 102).
Anyway, my struggle is: his regular pediatrician will not even acknowledge that he is "behind" in anyway and absolutely will not discuss the symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder with me. I don't know if I should make an appt with a children's hospital and have him seen and try to get him officially diagnosed or take him to a pediatric sleep clinic to try that first or just let it go. Maybe I am over reacting and his personality is just to be difficult? Since starting Early Intervention he really has made a lot of progress, maybe he just needed the few extra months to catch up because he was so early. I just don't know enough about the SPD to know one way or another and everything I read is so confusing. I also don't necessarily want to "label" him but I know in my heart there is a piece of the puzzle that we are just missing with him.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
As you all know, I really struggle with my youngest son Noah aka The Beast. His behavior just isn't getting any better and he is still not sleeping through the night. He is 18 months old and should not be waking up multiple times a night for a bottle. His dr wants me to get rid of the bottle but he just doesn't understand, if he is getting up for a bottle and there isn't one, what the hell am I going to do? How am I going to get any sleep?
The Beast has been seeing a Speech Therapist, and Occupational Therapist and an Early Intervention Teacher once a week. It has been brought up multiple times by EI (both with his last and with his new one - we moved and had to switch school districts) that he could possibly have Sensory Processing Disorder. Back when he was about 2 months old, my friend who is a therapist actually brought this up to me but I kind of shrugged it off after reading about it on line. Then, a few months ago a friend, whose children have it, brought it up to me too. It is in the back of my mind that he could possibly have this. The Beast does some things that could be taken as "normal" (I hate using that word) but when you look at the whole spectrum of his behavior, could make it all make perfect sense.
For those of you who aren't familiar, it is a relatively new thing: Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD, formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses
-The Beast thrives when others around and being outside. It's like when he is trapped inside, he just goes crazy. He just paces from one thing to another, not really playing with one thing ever. He also never quits moving. As a newborn, you could pick him up and he was constantly moving his hands and legs and he absolutely HATES to be confined in anyway.
-He wouldn't take a pacifier until around the age of 16 months. It was very strange, I tried and tried to get him to take one and finally gave up. Then, he found one in his toy box, tried it out and hasn't taken it out of his mouth since. It has made a world of difference for soothing him. It has also made "transferring" him from the car to his crib when he falls asleep much easier.
-He loves to play with the tag on his blanket. When he is upset and has his blanket, he searches and searches for that tag and either plays with it with his hands or rubs it on his nose or face.
-My baby does not like to be held. He never has, not unless you are standing up with him. He is not affectionate and when you try to cuddle him, he arches his back and pushes away from you.
-He gets VERY distressed by diaper changes, taking clothes off and putting them on, cutting his nails, washing his face or hair
-At 18 months old, he is still not very good at things such as using a spoon and fork, drinking from a cup (he prefers the bottle no matter what), cannot identify body parts, is only speaking maybe 3 words, still puts almost everything in his mouth and loves extreme heat. (The only two nights he has ever slept thru the night was when he had a temp of at least 102).
Anyway, my struggle is: his regular pediatrician will not even acknowledge that he is "behind" in anyway and absolutely will not discuss the symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder with me. I don't know if I should make an appt with a children's hospital and have him seen and try to get him officially diagnosed or take him to a pediatric sleep clinic to try that first or just let it go. Maybe I am over reacting and his personality is just to be difficult? Since starting Early Intervention he really has made a lot of progress, maybe he just needed the few extra months to catch up because he was so early. I just don't know enough about the SPD to know one way or another and everything I read is so confusing. I also don't necessarily want to "label" him but I know in my heart there is a piece of the puzzle that we are just missing with him.
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
What a difference
As most of you know, we just finally "settled" down in our new town by buying a home. For those of you who don't know, we moved to the way North Eastern Minneapolis area at the end of last summer. We spent 6 years in Northern Minnesota in a tiny town just south of Canada called Roseau. I know that I tend to be dramatic but I really, really hated living in Roseau. Except for the very few people who I considered friends and my job (and you know who you are, I'm not going to publicly call you out on my blog just in case it makes anyone uncomfortable) the 6 years of my life living up there were a nightmare.
Yes, living in a small town can be restricting and I realize that living in a small town is going to entitle everyone to know all of your business, I grew up in a smaller town in Michigan. The difference is, the people in most small towns are kind and welcoming, not judgemental and click-y. Another difference is customer service usually means going above and beyond in most small towns, not literally not caring and doing nothing because you don't care.
You see, one of my number #1 complaints about Roseau is people are so self absorbed and only care about themselves. (Again, not everyone in Roseau was horrible and I certainly hope that you know who you are and that I am not talking about you.) I have never lived or have seen an area with so many self centered, self asborbed people in my whole life. The town claimed to all "come together" in times of crisis but apparently that only means "if you know the right people" or are a "local" or if you one the "Roseau" important. (Which what would qualify as a Roseau Important would make the rest of you laugh your ass off). You can go to a restaurant and get the WORST service ever or have a waitress who talks shit about each one of her tables the second they leave and gets away with it because it's the only restaurant in town so they know you'll come back. I went to this one place quite a bit while living there and you should have heard the smack talk the highest up waitress would say about people who would leave. It was amazing, of course I knew the second I left she would be talking crap about me but I had no choice to just let it go, it was the only decent place to hang out in that horrible town. I really learned how horrible it was as I was getting ready to move when she outright made up a horrible rumor about me to get attention because she knew I was leaving and wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of when I found out.
While living there, I joined a group of women and thought it would be great because not one of them were a "local". Most of them were wives of my husband's co-workers but they had already been sucked into the "Roseau Mentality". It was worse than Desperate Housewives, these women had nothing better to do than gossip about their husbands work and other people. I am not saying I'm perfect and have never talked about someone or gossiped but this was worse than anything I had ever seen or taken part in. It was to the point where this group would pick one person and they would all gang up on them making their lives a living hell. And in the meantime they would talk about each other too, if someone didn't come to a playdate for some reason, you can bet they were the one to be talked about behind their back. At one point, I was terrified to miss a playgroup because I knew I would be the one who was tore to shreds. It's like the whole Mob Mentality, it's so much easier to go with the group, even if you don't believe in what they are saying or doing then go against the group. The one women who was the absolute worst claimed to be such a "christian"....yeah, right. (no slam against Christians, I just find it funny that she claimed to be such a wonderful one)
When I was in the hospital after my water broke with the Beast, I was airlifted out to Fargo, ND which was about 3 or 4 hours away. While I was in the hospital, someone at our church got sick and had a scare with cancer. (Now, this may make me sound like a bitch but I do not wish cancer on anyone and thankfully, from what I've heard she is alive and doing wonderful) Anyway, while I was in the hospital, our church put together a group to help their family out. The thing that got me, is they had family near by and he had a great job with benefits and paid time off. This church group put together a website and emailed people at the church, including me, who was 4 hours away from my family sitting in a hospital bed, to ask them to sign up to help this family out by cooking them meals, going into their house to babysit or run errands, etc. They also received not one, but at least two or three benefits to help them out with medical expenses. Not once did someone from the church reach out to my husband who was taking care of two children by himself while working full time and trying to travel back and forth to see me in the hospital. Now, he is perfectly capable of taking care of things himself and our daycare helped us so much but the point is, why didn't anyone reach out to us? Because we weren't "locals" or didn't "know the right people" or we didn't have the right "lastname". I think that it was very nice for the church and community to reach out to them but maybe they should reach out to everyone that could use it instead of just who they feel like it.
This is a little off the topic but one of the main "types" of people up north that I found to be the meanest but yet I got the most amusement from were a group of people who grew up in Roseau, left to go to college or live elsewhere but realized they were a "nobody" in a city and went running right back to their smalltown USA where they are now a loan officer at the local bank or opened up a Real Estate Office and really think they are someone important. Those are the people who are the worst in Roseau....I can't help but laugh at how pathetic they are and they don't even have a clue.
I could honestly go on and on all night for pages and pages about how much I disliked Roseau and all the reasons why but I will stop now. My whole point of this blog is it is so refreshing to finally be living in a place where we can maybe put our guard down a little bit. Our insurance guy came out to our house tonight and it is the same company that we had in Roseau but let me tell you, the customer service from this office blows the other one out of the park. He noticed that we had a crack in one of the car windshields and asked us if we wanted to get it fixed and we were hesitant to even say anything because we thought it was somehow a "trap". Because in Roseau, they would have never noticed, if they did, they certainly would have never said anything and then if we went in to ask to get it fixed, we would have to do all the work ourselves to find someone and then it would be a huge hassle to get the claim to go thru, simply because they don't care. The guy here couldn't believe how afraid we were of even saying yes that we wanted it fixed.. When we told him why, he was appalled.
I have also joined a group of women here, which after my last experience I said I never would and I have finally realized that they are not talking about me behind my back whenever I leave the room. I can be myself without being torn down and being downright insulted right to my face along with behind my back. I don't have to be afraid to want to be a part of a group and can really enjoy being with others and maybe even make some friends. During the moving process, many of these women have offered to watch our children and have helped us out so much. I'm not used to that, people actually caring and wanting to help.
I went to the grocery store tonight and not only was the cashier really friendly and nice but the young kid who bagged my groceries carried them out to my car for me and made friendly small talk for the walk out. It was forced small talk either, it was really nice conversation (and no, he wasn't hitting on me..lol)
I am happy that I am finally able to let me guard down a little and relax. Living in civilization is a wonderful thing and I will never take it for granted ever again. Just to experience it, I think all people should have to live in Roseau for a small time. I realize that I am kind of going against myself here by writing this blog because someone will consider it talking about people behind their backs or gossiping and I realize they are partially right but, in my defense I never lied and said I loved it up there. I never pretended to fit in and be nice to people that I didn't agree with or like. That did not get me very far up there but I will not change who I am to fit in with a town or smile and nod when you tell me the sky is red simply to make you feel good. I am who I am and I didn't fit in there, I am the first to admit it. I always made it well know how much I despised living there and the majority of the people up there. I am also positive that if someone up in Roseau who is not close to me reads this, they will be so utterly pissed off about me writing this and painting their "wonderful" town in a bad light, I am also fully aware that I will probably be deleted by a few people on facebook because of this but I don't care. I am entitled to my opinion and this is really good for me to let this out. I have carried this weight on my shoulders for too long and this is my way of "letting it go".
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
Yes, living in a small town can be restricting and I realize that living in a small town is going to entitle everyone to know all of your business, I grew up in a smaller town in Michigan. The difference is, the people in most small towns are kind and welcoming, not judgemental and click-y. Another difference is customer service usually means going above and beyond in most small towns, not literally not caring and doing nothing because you don't care.
You see, one of my number #1 complaints about Roseau is people are so self absorbed and only care about themselves. (Again, not everyone in Roseau was horrible and I certainly hope that you know who you are and that I am not talking about you.) I have never lived or have seen an area with so many self centered, self asborbed people in my whole life. The town claimed to all "come together" in times of crisis but apparently that only means "if you know the right people" or are a "local" or if you one the "Roseau" important. (Which what would qualify as a Roseau Important would make the rest of you laugh your ass off). You can go to a restaurant and get the WORST service ever or have a waitress who talks shit about each one of her tables the second they leave and gets away with it because it's the only restaurant in town so they know you'll come back. I went to this one place quite a bit while living there and you should have heard the smack talk the highest up waitress would say about people who would leave. It was amazing, of course I knew the second I left she would be talking crap about me but I had no choice to just let it go, it was the only decent place to hang out in that horrible town. I really learned how horrible it was as I was getting ready to move when she outright made up a horrible rumor about me to get attention because she knew I was leaving and wouldn't have to deal with the aftermath of when I found out.
While living there, I joined a group of women and thought it would be great because not one of them were a "local". Most of them were wives of my husband's co-workers but they had already been sucked into the "Roseau Mentality". It was worse than Desperate Housewives, these women had nothing better to do than gossip about their husbands work and other people. I am not saying I'm perfect and have never talked about someone or gossiped but this was worse than anything I had ever seen or taken part in. It was to the point where this group would pick one person and they would all gang up on them making their lives a living hell. And in the meantime they would talk about each other too, if someone didn't come to a playdate for some reason, you can bet they were the one to be talked about behind their back. At one point, I was terrified to miss a playgroup because I knew I would be the one who was tore to shreds. It's like the whole Mob Mentality, it's so much easier to go with the group, even if you don't believe in what they are saying or doing then go against the group. The one women who was the absolute worst claimed to be such a "christian"....yeah, right. (no slam against Christians, I just find it funny that she claimed to be such a wonderful one)
When I was in the hospital after my water broke with the Beast, I was airlifted out to Fargo, ND which was about 3 or 4 hours away. While I was in the hospital, someone at our church got sick and had a scare with cancer. (Now, this may make me sound like a bitch but I do not wish cancer on anyone and thankfully, from what I've heard she is alive and doing wonderful) Anyway, while I was in the hospital, our church put together a group to help their family out. The thing that got me, is they had family near by and he had a great job with benefits and paid time off. This church group put together a website and emailed people at the church, including me, who was 4 hours away from my family sitting in a hospital bed, to ask them to sign up to help this family out by cooking them meals, going into their house to babysit or run errands, etc. They also received not one, but at least two or three benefits to help them out with medical expenses. Not once did someone from the church reach out to my husband who was taking care of two children by himself while working full time and trying to travel back and forth to see me in the hospital. Now, he is perfectly capable of taking care of things himself and our daycare helped us so much but the point is, why didn't anyone reach out to us? Because we weren't "locals" or didn't "know the right people" or we didn't have the right "lastname". I think that it was very nice for the church and community to reach out to them but maybe they should reach out to everyone that could use it instead of just who they feel like it.
This is a little off the topic but one of the main "types" of people up north that I found to be the meanest but yet I got the most amusement from were a group of people who grew up in Roseau, left to go to college or live elsewhere but realized they were a "nobody" in a city and went running right back to their smalltown USA where they are now a loan officer at the local bank or opened up a Real Estate Office and really think they are someone important. Those are the people who are the worst in Roseau....I can't help but laugh at how pathetic they are and they don't even have a clue.
I could honestly go on and on all night for pages and pages about how much I disliked Roseau and all the reasons why but I will stop now. My whole point of this blog is it is so refreshing to finally be living in a place where we can maybe put our guard down a little bit. Our insurance guy came out to our house tonight and it is the same company that we had in Roseau but let me tell you, the customer service from this office blows the other one out of the park. He noticed that we had a crack in one of the car windshields and asked us if we wanted to get it fixed and we were hesitant to even say anything because we thought it was somehow a "trap". Because in Roseau, they would have never noticed, if they did, they certainly would have never said anything and then if we went in to ask to get it fixed, we would have to do all the work ourselves to find someone and then it would be a huge hassle to get the claim to go thru, simply because they don't care. The guy here couldn't believe how afraid we were of even saying yes that we wanted it fixed.. When we told him why, he was appalled.
I have also joined a group of women here, which after my last experience I said I never would and I have finally realized that they are not talking about me behind my back whenever I leave the room. I can be myself without being torn down and being downright insulted right to my face along with behind my back. I don't have to be afraid to want to be a part of a group and can really enjoy being with others and maybe even make some friends. During the moving process, many of these women have offered to watch our children and have helped us out so much. I'm not used to that, people actually caring and wanting to help.
I went to the grocery store tonight and not only was the cashier really friendly and nice but the young kid who bagged my groceries carried them out to my car for me and made friendly small talk for the walk out. It was forced small talk either, it was really nice conversation (and no, he wasn't hitting on me..lol)
I am happy that I am finally able to let me guard down a little and relax. Living in civilization is a wonderful thing and I will never take it for granted ever again. Just to experience it, I think all people should have to live in Roseau for a small time. I realize that I am kind of going against myself here by writing this blog because someone will consider it talking about people behind their backs or gossiping and I realize they are partially right but, in my defense I never lied and said I loved it up there. I never pretended to fit in and be nice to people that I didn't agree with or like. That did not get me very far up there but I will not change who I am to fit in with a town or smile and nod when you tell me the sky is red simply to make you feel good. I am who I am and I didn't fit in there, I am the first to admit it. I always made it well know how much I despised living there and the majority of the people up there. I am also positive that if someone up in Roseau who is not close to me reads this, they will be so utterly pissed off about me writing this and painting their "wonderful" town in a bad light, I am also fully aware that I will probably be deleted by a few people on facebook because of this but I don't care. I am entitled to my opinion and this is really good for me to let this out. I have carried this weight on my shoulders for too long and this is my way of "letting it go".
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you will never feel "put together"? I constantly feel like that. Just once I would love to look in the mirror and actually feel like I look ok, like I don't have snot, milk or food all over me from the baby or be dripping with sweat because I am trying to do 100 things to get out the door.
A few weeks ago, I ran to Walmart with all three of the kids and while I was there, I realized that I had become one of those people, the one whose shirt was on inside out. Talk about embarrassing.
I see those moms who walk in the door with 4 or 5 kids and they look perfect. How is that even possible? How can you get all of those kids fed, dressed and ready to go somewhere while still managing to get yourself not only presentable but looking perfect? You know the ones, those ones with their perfectly manicured nails without a hair out of place and their make up, down to their lipstick looking perfect. Don't even get me started on their outfit showing off their perfect little waist. You know those moms, the ones you hate.
Anyone else feel completely frazzled all of the time?
A few weeks ago, I ran to Walmart with all three of the kids and while I was there, I realized that I had become one of those people, the one whose shirt was on inside out. Talk about embarrassing.
I see those moms who walk in the door with 4 or 5 kids and they look perfect. How is that even possible? How can you get all of those kids fed, dressed and ready to go somewhere while still managing to get yourself not only presentable but looking perfect? You know the ones, those ones with their perfectly manicured nails without a hair out of place and their make up, down to their lipstick looking perfect. Don't even get me started on their outfit showing off their perfect little waist. You know those moms, the ones you hate.
Anyone else feel completely frazzled all of the time?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Yes, I referred to him as an a-hole
As everyone knows I call my youngest baby Noah "The Beast". Often at times I refer to him as being an a-hole simply because that is what he is. People tend to get completely bent out of shape over this. Yes, I understand why but until you have spent a day with him and seen him at his finest or lived in my shoes, don't judge me.
Noah aka The Beast aka A-hole is not an easy child. He is very difficult. Some people may be super mom or the perfect mom and deal with him and just smile and laugh but I cannot. I don't enjoy taking him places, don't enjoy being stuck at home with him and I really don't enjoy being high strung and on edge all of the time. Trust me, it's not fun and no way to live your life.
Yesterday is a prime example of how stressful it is to be with The Beast. My husband went out of town for work so it's just me and the three kids (ages 7, 4 and 17 months). I took them to the outlet mall to look for flip flops followed by a trip to Burger King so they could play at the playland. Well, the BK didn't have doors on the playland so I spent the entire time trying to keep the Beast in the playroom or chasing him around the restaurant. Why he must run all over the place when there is a huge room with things for him to climb I will never understand, but that is the Beast.
After his nap, I decided that since there was nothing on tv to take the three kids to Blockbuster and then out for ice cream. After exactly 7 minutes of intense screaming because he hates to be confined in his carseat, we got to Blockbuster and I told them to each pick out a movie. While I was browsing the aisles for a movie for myself, I was holding The Beast in my arms, on my hip. Well, he wanted down and wanted to get out my arms in the worst way. He started pushing away from me, wriggling his body and doing everything he could to get down. When I refused to put him down he starts hitting me and batting at me with his small little fists. He finally found that flab on the underside of the back of my arm, grabbed it and pinched really hard. You know that spot that just brings you to your knees and to tears because it hurts so badly? Well I dropped the little Beast on the floor just like he wanted. It took him exactly a half a second to get up and start running and grabbing movies and throwing them all over the place. As I lean down to pick the movies up and fix them, he runs to the candy aisle and starts doing it with that. By then, I am arguing with my eldest about her choice in getting a scary movie. I was near tears because I was so frustrated and so incredibly embarrassed. I told my daughter to just get the movie, grabbed the Beast and got out of there as fast as I could. He of course, screamed bloody murder the whole time I was trying to check out. I felt so bad for the check out girl, she was looking at me (I was just about to start sobbing) and trying to go as fast as she could to get me out of there.
That is just 15 minutes of my day, a day that is filled with situations like that. If I am not out and about, he is at home following me around whining and crying all day long. If I don't pick him up on command or sit and pay attention to him every second, he is hitting me or pinching me. His newest trick is he stands behind me while I'm cooking and purposely makes it so I trip on him and knock him over. Because then, of course I will pick him up.
So, when you add all of this on top of the other stuff and the fact that I haven't had a good night's sleep in almost 18 months now, you too would probably not be sitting there calling him your cute little snuggle bunny.
Noah aka The Beast aka A-hole is not an easy child. He is very difficult. Some people may be super mom or the perfect mom and deal with him and just smile and laugh but I cannot. I don't enjoy taking him places, don't enjoy being stuck at home with him and I really don't enjoy being high strung and on edge all of the time. Trust me, it's not fun and no way to live your life.
Yesterday is a prime example of how stressful it is to be with The Beast. My husband went out of town for work so it's just me and the three kids (ages 7, 4 and 17 months). I took them to the outlet mall to look for flip flops followed by a trip to Burger King so they could play at the playland. Well, the BK didn't have doors on the playland so I spent the entire time trying to keep the Beast in the playroom or chasing him around the restaurant. Why he must run all over the place when there is a huge room with things for him to climb I will never understand, but that is the Beast.
After his nap, I decided that since there was nothing on tv to take the three kids to Blockbuster and then out for ice cream. After exactly 7 minutes of intense screaming because he hates to be confined in his carseat, we got to Blockbuster and I told them to each pick out a movie. While I was browsing the aisles for a movie for myself, I was holding The Beast in my arms, on my hip. Well, he wanted down and wanted to get out my arms in the worst way. He started pushing away from me, wriggling his body and doing everything he could to get down. When I refused to put him down he starts hitting me and batting at me with his small little fists. He finally found that flab on the underside of the back of my arm, grabbed it and pinched really hard. You know that spot that just brings you to your knees and to tears because it hurts so badly? Well I dropped the little Beast on the floor just like he wanted. It took him exactly a half a second to get up and start running and grabbing movies and throwing them all over the place. As I lean down to pick the movies up and fix them, he runs to the candy aisle and starts doing it with that. By then, I am arguing with my eldest about her choice in getting a scary movie. I was near tears because I was so frustrated and so incredibly embarrassed. I told my daughter to just get the movie, grabbed the Beast and got out of there as fast as I could. He of course, screamed bloody murder the whole time I was trying to check out. I felt so bad for the check out girl, she was looking at me (I was just about to start sobbing) and trying to go as fast as she could to get me out of there.
That is just 15 minutes of my day, a day that is filled with situations like that. If I am not out and about, he is at home following me around whining and crying all day long. If I don't pick him up on command or sit and pay attention to him every second, he is hitting me or pinching me. His newest trick is he stands behind me while I'm cooking and purposely makes it so I trip on him and knock him over. Because then, of course I will pick him up.
So, when you add all of this on top of the other stuff and the fact that I haven't had a good night's sleep in almost 18 months now, you too would probably not be sitting there calling him your cute little snuggle bunny.
Are people purposely hurtful?
I don't understand it. Are people purposely hurtful to make themselves feel better? It is so frustrating to me. As a parent, that is where the most hurtful things come from, other parents.
The one subject that really has the issues is this whole "Attached Parenting" topic. Yes, I understand that you want to be labeled "perfect mom" so you hide underneath the label of being an attached parent. That certainly doesn't make the rest of us bad parents. I have been a mom for almost 8 years and I find that most of the time, those who label themselves as an attached parent are the most hurtful. I could say a lot of mean and nasty things but I'd like to think that I am above that. I am not saying those people are bad parents. It's great that you can rush to your child's side every time they whimper and cry and carry them around all day long but I can't and I don't. Nor do I want to. That does not make me any less of a parent than them.
I have three children, not one. It is next to impossible to rush to the side of three children everytime they whimper and cry along with taking care of everything that needs to be done and myself. I also have a very high needs child who dominates my time. He already cries all day long, if I ran to his side and tried to comfort him everytime he cried, that's all I would be doing all day and all night. I'm sorry but how is that teaching him anything other than if you cry long enough, you will get exactly what you want?
The one subject that really has the issues is this whole "Attached Parenting" topic. Yes, I understand that you want to be labeled "perfect mom" so you hide underneath the label of being an attached parent. That certainly doesn't make the rest of us bad parents. I have been a mom for almost 8 years and I find that most of the time, those who label themselves as an attached parent are the most hurtful. I could say a lot of mean and nasty things but I'd like to think that I am above that. I am not saying those people are bad parents. It's great that you can rush to your child's side every time they whimper and cry and carry them around all day long but I can't and I don't. Nor do I want to. That does not make me any less of a parent than them.
I have three children, not one. It is next to impossible to rush to the side of three children everytime they whimper and cry along with taking care of everything that needs to be done and myself. I also have a very high needs child who dominates my time. He already cries all day long, if I ran to his side and tried to comfort him everytime he cried, that's all I would be doing all day and all night. I'm sorry but how is that teaching him anything other than if you cry long enough, you will get exactly what you want?
Monday, June 20, 2011
Bad Mom
You know those movies, Bad Santa and Bad Teacher? Well, I think that there should be a movie called Bad Mom and I should have the starring role. Today was not what I would call a good "mom" day. The Beast was just going strong all day long and it is exhausting. Plus, I did something this week to my hip and it hurts so bad so I am on edge anyway.
Some days I feel like I yell more than I don't. We had an early day today because his Early Intervention teacher was due to be here at 9am. He and I woke up at 7:30 and I got into the shower. I had to take him into the bathroom with me because he absolutely cannot be left alone anywhere, including his crib because it's in his brother's room and he would have woke him up. Waking Jackson up when he isn't ready is just a bad idea for everyone. So, I brought him into the bathroom with me while I took the fastest shower ever. In the few minutes it took for me to wash up, he took all the toothpaste out of the drawer and threw it in the shower with me, took all the hairbrushes out and was trying to throw them in the toilet (so I am soaking wet hanging out of the shower while covered in soap trying to stop him), dumped out the garbage and rearranged everything in the lower cabinet. Seriously, that took about 10 minutes.
About two minutes before his teacher got here, he took his pacifier and stuck it in his mouth and clamped down. Usually not a big deal but his teacher is doubling as his speech therapist at the moment so when you are trying to teach an infant to speak, not such a great idea for him to have a pacifier in his mouth. If I tried to take it out, he had a full blown melt down and wouldn't cooporate at all so we let him have it. Of course, the second she left, he spit it out and was done. Although he occassionally shows his true colors while his teacher is here, it's never to the extent that it normally is. We were going thru normal activities and how he acts and he just wasn't cooperating at all so it was hard to accomplish anything. The second she walked out the door, he turned on full Beast mode and started crying and whimpering and clinging. He was so crabby for about an hour until I finally just put him down for a nap.
While the Beast napped, the older two and I tore apart the toy room to sort things and figure out what we are going to keep and get rid of. Doing this with a four year old is so hard. He refuses to clean, doesn't understand how to organize and just wants to keep everything and play. As soon as the Beast got up, we had to run some errands and that is always a joy, especially with three kids.
The day just kept on getting better, we had a power outage for almost two hours and then when my husband went outside to do some yardwork the Beast was just raging. He walked around the house and just slammed toys around, turned them over, got into every cupboard that didn't have a lock on them and getting into everything. At one point he grabbed my cell phone and when I went to take it away from him, the threw it across the room slamming it into another wall. I layed him down for a diaper change and to put his pajamas on and he peed all over me as soon as his diaper came off. I had enough and put him to bed. By then, the older two were fighting so I seperated them and just as I sat down (my hip was killing me), Jackson wanted his bedtime snack.
All I could think was "My god, my kids are so annoying". I have to remember that they are young and need me to help them and aren't able to do things for themselves. I just wish they understood that sometimes mommy needs a break too. I need to regroup because Trevor is leaving for Colorado for work on Sunday and I need to be a "good mom" by then or we are all doomed.
Some days I feel like I yell more than I don't. We had an early day today because his Early Intervention teacher was due to be here at 9am. He and I woke up at 7:30 and I got into the shower. I had to take him into the bathroom with me because he absolutely cannot be left alone anywhere, including his crib because it's in his brother's room and he would have woke him up. Waking Jackson up when he isn't ready is just a bad idea for everyone. So, I brought him into the bathroom with me while I took the fastest shower ever. In the few minutes it took for me to wash up, he took all the toothpaste out of the drawer and threw it in the shower with me, took all the hairbrushes out and was trying to throw them in the toilet (so I am soaking wet hanging out of the shower while covered in soap trying to stop him), dumped out the garbage and rearranged everything in the lower cabinet. Seriously, that took about 10 minutes.
About two minutes before his teacher got here, he took his pacifier and stuck it in his mouth and clamped down. Usually not a big deal but his teacher is doubling as his speech therapist at the moment so when you are trying to teach an infant to speak, not such a great idea for him to have a pacifier in his mouth. If I tried to take it out, he had a full blown melt down and wouldn't cooporate at all so we let him have it. Of course, the second she left, he spit it out and was done. Although he occassionally shows his true colors while his teacher is here, it's never to the extent that it normally is. We were going thru normal activities and how he acts and he just wasn't cooperating at all so it was hard to accomplish anything. The second she walked out the door, he turned on full Beast mode and started crying and whimpering and clinging. He was so crabby for about an hour until I finally just put him down for a nap.
While the Beast napped, the older two and I tore apart the toy room to sort things and figure out what we are going to keep and get rid of. Doing this with a four year old is so hard. He refuses to clean, doesn't understand how to organize and just wants to keep everything and play. As soon as the Beast got up, we had to run some errands and that is always a joy, especially with three kids.
The day just kept on getting better, we had a power outage for almost two hours and then when my husband went outside to do some yardwork the Beast was just raging. He walked around the house and just slammed toys around, turned them over, got into every cupboard that didn't have a lock on them and getting into everything. At one point he grabbed my cell phone and when I went to take it away from him, the threw it across the room slamming it into another wall. I layed him down for a diaper change and to put his pajamas on and he peed all over me as soon as his diaper came off. I had enough and put him to bed. By then, the older two were fighting so I seperated them and just as I sat down (my hip was killing me), Jackson wanted his bedtime snack.
All I could think was "My god, my kids are so annoying". I have to remember that they are young and need me to help them and aren't able to do things for themselves. I just wish they understood that sometimes mommy needs a break too. I need to regroup because Trevor is leaving for Colorado for work on Sunday and I need to be a "good mom" by then or we are all doomed.
Why Are You So Rude?
I was reading something that a friend posted on Facebook today about a comment that a complete stranger made to her at a store about how many children she had. That got me thinking about all the rude comments that I have received in my last few years, especially as a mother and wonder how are you supposed to respond to those? I was always taught to "respect my elders" and "treat others how you want to be treated" but man, sometimes it is really hard.
When we first moved to the most horrible place on earth when Olivia was 5 weeks old, I was in JCPenney returning some curtains when this woman started chatting with me. I was so excited to have someone other than the baby to talk to since I was new in town, I eagerly returned the conversation. She was telling me how adorable my baby was and since she was my first I was eating it right up. Then, just as she snagged me into the conversation and had me excited she asked me "So, do you breastfeed?". Um, ok, first of all, that is a very personal thing and two, what the h*ll business is it of yours is what I was thinking in my head. I was just kind of dumbfounded so I meekly answered "No". She then, looked me right in the eye and said (no joke) "My, isn't that selfish of you". I seriously grabbed my curtains, put them in the stroller and marched out with my baby, went home and cried. I couldn't believe that someone had the nerve to say that me. What if I had tried my hardest and couldn't do it? I didn't but that was just not any concern of hers. I was so upset that when my husband got home from work, I demanded that he quit his job and we move back to Michigan. He thought I was over reacting of course but I honestly think that one comment has a lot to do with my fear of breastfeeding.
Another time when Olivia was just a baby, I took her grocery shopping which was a nightmare because she hated to be in the infant carrier. She screamed the entire time. I had two rude things happen while I was in the grocery store, first of all, I had this younger guy come up to me and tell me that my baby was crying. WTF? Really? I wasn't aware that the loud, piercing scream was in fact coming from my baby right in front of me, why thank you. I kindly said that I knew she was crying and that she doesn't like the carrier. He then followed me around and told me that I should maybe feed her, change her diaper or pick her up. I couldn't get away from him fast enough....I don't think he even had children. Then, about five minutes later when I was almost done shopping, I was reaching for some milk and an elderly lady comes up to me, taps me on the arm and tells me "I don't think he's very happy". No kidding. One, it's a SHE and I am aware that she is unhappy. I couldn't wait to finish my grocery shopping and head home.
That brings me to another one. I got this one all of the time. Whenever I would bring Olivia out, I would dress her in pink from head to toe and have her covered in pink blankets. It never failed, about ten people would come up to me and tell me how beautiful my baby boy was. So, then I got her ears pierced at 6 months old because I figured with earrings you would have to know she was a girl. Then, I got comments about how you shouldn't pierce a baby's ears, you should let them decide later on in life, etc. I can't win.
So, tell me about some of the rude comments you've gotten.
When we first moved to the most horrible place on earth when Olivia was 5 weeks old, I was in JCPenney returning some curtains when this woman started chatting with me. I was so excited to have someone other than the baby to talk to since I was new in town, I eagerly returned the conversation. She was telling me how adorable my baby was and since she was my first I was eating it right up. Then, just as she snagged me into the conversation and had me excited she asked me "So, do you breastfeed?". Um, ok, first of all, that is a very personal thing and two, what the h*ll business is it of yours is what I was thinking in my head. I was just kind of dumbfounded so I meekly answered "No". She then, looked me right in the eye and said (no joke) "My, isn't that selfish of you". I seriously grabbed my curtains, put them in the stroller and marched out with my baby, went home and cried. I couldn't believe that someone had the nerve to say that me. What if I had tried my hardest and couldn't do it? I didn't but that was just not any concern of hers. I was so upset that when my husband got home from work, I demanded that he quit his job and we move back to Michigan. He thought I was over reacting of course but I honestly think that one comment has a lot to do with my fear of breastfeeding.
Another time when Olivia was just a baby, I took her grocery shopping which was a nightmare because she hated to be in the infant carrier. She screamed the entire time. I had two rude things happen while I was in the grocery store, first of all, I had this younger guy come up to me and tell me that my baby was crying. WTF? Really? I wasn't aware that the loud, piercing scream was in fact coming from my baby right in front of me, why thank you. I kindly said that I knew she was crying and that she doesn't like the carrier. He then followed me around and told me that I should maybe feed her, change her diaper or pick her up. I couldn't get away from him fast enough....I don't think he even had children. Then, about five minutes later when I was almost done shopping, I was reaching for some milk and an elderly lady comes up to me, taps me on the arm and tells me "I don't think he's very happy". No kidding. One, it's a SHE and I am aware that she is unhappy. I couldn't wait to finish my grocery shopping and head home.
That brings me to another one. I got this one all of the time. Whenever I would bring Olivia out, I would dress her in pink from head to toe and have her covered in pink blankets. It never failed, about ten people would come up to me and tell me how beautiful my baby boy was. So, then I got her ears pierced at 6 months old because I figured with earrings you would have to know she was a girl. Then, I got comments about how you shouldn't pierce a baby's ears, you should let them decide later on in life, etc. I can't win.
So, tell me about some of the rude comments you've gotten.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Where is the month going?
Do you ever have times that just fly by like crazy? I feel like that is what is happening with this month. Last I knew, it was still May. So much has happened in the last couple of weeks. I haven't blogged because I don't have anything too exciting to talk about. In fact, the Beast has been about the same but hasn't done anything too crazy lately (knock on wood).
House Hunt Update:
After looking at around 60 houses and making an offer on two, we got one. We close on the 30th and couldn't be more excited. It is a perfect compromise between the two of us in Lindstrom, Minnesota. The house is located in a neighborhood of about 10 houses and on 3 acres of land with the openness that I want and the trees that my husband wants. It's a three level split with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a fully finished basment. The best part is, it's move in ready and we wouldn't have to do anything to it to move in but I will probably paint a few rooms to make it us. The strangest thing happened though after our offer was accepted on this house. Both the other two houses, the one on 7 acres that my husband wanted and the one we made the offer on and lost out on came back on the market because their sales fell through. We are strong believers in fate and obviously that was a sign that we weren't supposed to have either one. Anyway, here is our new house:
Update on Jackson:
A week and a half ago, Jackson was on his little 50cc motorcycle and he crashed and got burnt. It wasn't pretty but not horrible either. In fact, I couldn't even tell you what really happened since nobody will tell me the truth. (Annoying). My husband brought him to the ER because he wouldn't let us look at the burns and they gave us this amazing medicine to put on it and wrapped up his hand and wrist area. I'm so sad to see him hurt but I think that having his hand wrapped is doing something to him, he seems so proud of his bandage and has been a lot more outgoing, I think it's making him brave. Anyway, the burns are healing nicely and we are keeping it wrapped for awhile under the skin underneath the burns heals properly. He gets so dirty playing outside that we are worried about dirt getting in and it getting infected. Thanks to all of you who were thinking about him, it means a lot to us. It's so hard to be a mom when your little guy gets hurt.
House Hunt Update:
After looking at around 60 houses and making an offer on two, we got one. We close on the 30th and couldn't be more excited. It is a perfect compromise between the two of us in Lindstrom, Minnesota. The house is located in a neighborhood of about 10 houses and on 3 acres of land with the openness that I want and the trees that my husband wants. It's a three level split with 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a fully finished basment. The best part is, it's move in ready and we wouldn't have to do anything to it to move in but I will probably paint a few rooms to make it us. The strangest thing happened though after our offer was accepted on this house. Both the other two houses, the one on 7 acres that my husband wanted and the one we made the offer on and lost out on came back on the market because their sales fell through. We are strong believers in fate and obviously that was a sign that we weren't supposed to have either one. Anyway, here is our new house:
Update on Jackson:
A week and a half ago, Jackson was on his little 50cc motorcycle and he crashed and got burnt. It wasn't pretty but not horrible either. In fact, I couldn't even tell you what really happened since nobody will tell me the truth. (Annoying). My husband brought him to the ER because he wouldn't let us look at the burns and they gave us this amazing medicine to put on it and wrapped up his hand and wrist area. I'm so sad to see him hurt but I think that having his hand wrapped is doing something to him, he seems so proud of his bandage and has been a lot more outgoing, I think it's making him brave. Anyway, the burns are healing nicely and we are keeping it wrapped for awhile under the skin underneath the burns heals properly. He gets so dirty playing outside that we are worried about dirt getting in and it getting infected. Thanks to all of you who were thinking about him, it means a lot to us. It's so hard to be a mom when your little guy gets hurt.
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Bachelorette...Episode 3?
I had to blog about this week’s episode of The Bachelorette because I had way too much to say about it to keep quiet. Besides, when do I ever keep quiet about anything right?
First of all, I cannot decide if I even like Ashley. I love that she isn’t drop dead gorgeous and is more of an “everyday” kind of girl but her self esteem issue drives me crazy. Also, the fact that she says how she is certain she’s going to walk away with her husband from this group makes me thing that she is certainly not going to. Oh I’m sure she’s engaged and will be happy with the guy of her choice for about 10 minutes just to try and prove a point. Maybe I’m wrong. But, these guys are something else…..
That brings me to date number one. But, let me just put a little side note in here. I find it hilarious how every time Chris H comes in to talk about the “date boxes” they show clips of the guys either sighing or swallowing like it’s a matter of life or death. So, date number one went to Ben. I don’t even know what to say because I don’t know too many guys who would be excited to take part in a flash mob. My husband would rather gnaw off his right arm than dance in public to a hip hop line dance with 100 other people. He was just gushing and gushing about how cool that was, come on, be real. Then, when they were having dinner and he was going on and on about how he wants to find romance like no other and live in a bubble I wanted to throw up. Seriously, I think I did a little. Talk about coming on a little too strong. He is either gay or one of those guys who lays it on thick in the beginning to snag you in and then becomes a total douche bag once he’s got you.
Speaking of douche bags….Bentley. I know America supposedly hates him but I absolutely love and adore him. I’m not stupid like Ashley and falling for his amazing charm, no he isn’t sweeping me off of my feet but I love how real he is. Finally, a bachelor who goes on the show and isn’t afraid to say that he isn’t attracted to her and that he was hoping it was someone else. You can’t tell me that 100 other guys/girls weren’t thinking it. Remember season one? Who the hell was attracted to Alex or whatever his name was….certainly not Trista like she pretended to be. I love how he is proving that the world is not made up of sunshine and rainbows and how this show puts you in a fairytale. Someone came right out and warned Ashley that he wasn’t there for the right reasons and she still fell head over heels in love with him and was devastated that he left. I am going to miss him, he made it more enjoyable to watch because let’s face it, this season is kind of dull. The only thing that would have made it better for me is if he was doing that to Emily who don’t even get me started on…..
Let’s talk about Jeff, the masked man. Yes, I see his point and it’s great and all but honestly, if you can’t stand to look at someone, I don’t care how nice they are, you aren’t going to pick them. He’s not a bad looking guy, I think he would have done better if he didn’t do that whole creepy mask thing. Besides, it’s not like you couldn’t tell exactly what he looked like underneath it. Were you surprised when he took it off? I wasn’t. Poor Ashley though, what pressure. To have him take off the mask and wait for a response for her….when she said he looked older in her interview, ouch.
Now let’s talk about the roast. Oh my freaking gosh, what on earth was Ashley thinking? She’s got self esteem issues and she brings her “dates” to a place where she wants them to insult her. I hate those kind of women, because you have to walk on eggshells around them. That was just stupid. Then, she gets upset when they do what she wants….please, she had no right to get upset. That just pissed me off, I can’t even tell you. The whole idea was stupid. But, way to go to the guys who stepped up and insulted her, they had balls and I like that.
JP’s date bored me to death. They are perfect for each other, they are both boring. I don’t even really have anything to say about that date other than if that didn’t send him running to the hills then nothing will. That date was a nightmare……I want to know where ABC came up with these "men" for Ashley. I honestly think they are playing a cruel joke on her.
First of all, I cannot decide if I even like Ashley. I love that she isn’t drop dead gorgeous and is more of an “everyday” kind of girl but her self esteem issue drives me crazy. Also, the fact that she says how she is certain she’s going to walk away with her husband from this group makes me thing that she is certainly not going to. Oh I’m sure she’s engaged and will be happy with the guy of her choice for about 10 minutes just to try and prove a point. Maybe I’m wrong. But, these guys are something else…..
That brings me to date number one. But, let me just put a little side note in here. I find it hilarious how every time Chris H comes in to talk about the “date boxes” they show clips of the guys either sighing or swallowing like it’s a matter of life or death. So, date number one went to Ben. I don’t even know what to say because I don’t know too many guys who would be excited to take part in a flash mob. My husband would rather gnaw off his right arm than dance in public to a hip hop line dance with 100 other people. He was just gushing and gushing about how cool that was, come on, be real. Then, when they were having dinner and he was going on and on about how he wants to find romance like no other and live in a bubble I wanted to throw up. Seriously, I think I did a little. Talk about coming on a little too strong. He is either gay or one of those guys who lays it on thick in the beginning to snag you in and then becomes a total douche bag once he’s got you.
Speaking of douche bags….Bentley. I know America supposedly hates him but I absolutely love and adore him. I’m not stupid like Ashley and falling for his amazing charm, no he isn’t sweeping me off of my feet but I love how real he is. Finally, a bachelor who goes on the show and isn’t afraid to say that he isn’t attracted to her and that he was hoping it was someone else. You can’t tell me that 100 other guys/girls weren’t thinking it. Remember season one? Who the hell was attracted to Alex or whatever his name was….certainly not Trista like she pretended to be. I love how he is proving that the world is not made up of sunshine and rainbows and how this show puts you in a fairytale. Someone came right out and warned Ashley that he wasn’t there for the right reasons and she still fell head over heels in love with him and was devastated that he left. I am going to miss him, he made it more enjoyable to watch because let’s face it, this season is kind of dull. The only thing that would have made it better for me is if he was doing that to Emily who don’t even get me started on…..
Let’s talk about Jeff, the masked man. Yes, I see his point and it’s great and all but honestly, if you can’t stand to look at someone, I don’t care how nice they are, you aren’t going to pick them. He’s not a bad looking guy, I think he would have done better if he didn’t do that whole creepy mask thing. Besides, it’s not like you couldn’t tell exactly what he looked like underneath it. Were you surprised when he took it off? I wasn’t. Poor Ashley though, what pressure. To have him take off the mask and wait for a response for her….when she said he looked older in her interview, ouch.
Now let’s talk about the roast. Oh my freaking gosh, what on earth was Ashley thinking? She’s got self esteem issues and she brings her “dates” to a place where she wants them to insult her. I hate those kind of women, because you have to walk on eggshells around them. That was just stupid. Then, she gets upset when they do what she wants….please, she had no right to get upset. That just pissed me off, I can’t even tell you. The whole idea was stupid. But, way to go to the guys who stepped up and insulted her, they had balls and I like that.
JP’s date bored me to death. They are perfect for each other, they are both boring. I don’t even really have anything to say about that date other than if that didn’t send him running to the hills then nothing will. That date was a nightmare……I want to know where ABC came up with these "men" for Ashley. I honestly think they are playing a cruel joke on her.
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