You know those movies, Bad Santa and Bad Teacher? Well, I think that there should be a movie called Bad Mom and I should have the starring role. Today was not what I would call a good "mom" day. The Beast was just going strong all day long and it is exhausting. Plus, I did something this week to my hip and it hurts so bad so I am on edge anyway.
Some days I feel like I yell more than I don't. We had an early day today because his Early Intervention teacher was due to be here at 9am. He and I woke up at 7:30 and I got into the shower. I had to take him into the bathroom with me because he absolutely cannot be left alone anywhere, including his crib because it's in his brother's room and he would have woke him up. Waking Jackson up when he isn't ready is just a bad idea for everyone. So, I brought him into the bathroom with me while I took the fastest shower ever. In the few minutes it took for me to wash up, he took all the toothpaste out of the drawer and threw it in the shower with me, took all the hairbrushes out and was trying to throw them in the toilet (so I am soaking wet hanging out of the shower while covered in soap trying to stop him), dumped out the garbage and rearranged everything in the lower cabinet. Seriously, that took about 10 minutes.
About two minutes before his teacher got here, he took his pacifier and stuck it in his mouth and clamped down. Usually not a big deal but his teacher is doubling as his speech therapist at the moment so when you are trying to teach an infant to speak, not such a great idea for him to have a pacifier in his mouth. If I tried to take it out, he had a full blown melt down and wouldn't cooporate at all so we let him have it. Of course, the second she left, he spit it out and was done. Although he occassionally shows his true colors while his teacher is here, it's never to the extent that it normally is. We were going thru normal activities and how he acts and he just wasn't cooperating at all so it was hard to accomplish anything. The second she walked out the door, he turned on full Beast mode and started crying and whimpering and clinging. He was so crabby for about an hour until I finally just put him down for a nap.
While the Beast napped, the older two and I tore apart the toy room to sort things and figure out what we are going to keep and get rid of. Doing this with a four year old is so hard. He refuses to clean, doesn't understand how to organize and just wants to keep everything and play. As soon as the Beast got up, we had to run some errands and that is always a joy, especially with three kids.
The day just kept on getting better, we had a power outage for almost two hours and then when my husband went outside to do some yardwork the Beast was just raging. He walked around the house and just slammed toys around, turned them over, got into every cupboard that didn't have a lock on them and getting into everything. At one point he grabbed my cell phone and when I went to take it away from him, the threw it across the room slamming it into another wall. I layed him down for a diaper change and to put his pajamas on and he peed all over me as soon as his diaper came off. I had enough and put him to bed. By then, the older two were fighting so I seperated them and just as I sat down (my hip was killing me), Jackson wanted his bedtime snack.
All I could think was "My god, my kids are so annoying". I have to remember that they are young and need me to help them and aren't able to do things for themselves. I just wish they understood that sometimes mommy needs a break too. I need to regroup because Trevor is leaving for Colorado for work on Sunday and I need to be a "good mom" by then or we are all doomed.
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