Thing's I've Learned Being A Mother

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of you who are mothers or have been mothers or are about to become mother's.    I hope you had a fantastic day and got a little break.  

My day was pretty great.   My husband got up with The Beast at 6:45am and I put my earplugs in and slept until 10am, those three hours made a world of difference.   From my husband and The Beast I got the newest James Patterson book, from Jackson I got a hanging plant for outside and from Olivia I got a flower that I can plant outside along with many homemade things from school and Girl Scouts. 

In honor of Mother's Day, I have compiled a list of things that I have learned from being a Mother.   (I didn't come up with all of them on my own but they are all good and funny)

-There are bodily fluids that are more disgusting than poop.

-Despite all those promises you made while pregnant not to bore other people with endless talk and pictures of your children, you will

-Wine and Double Stuffed Oreos are an acceptable dinner 

-Sometimes you will lock yourself in your car just to enjoy the silence

-Alone in the car, with only your kids as an audience, you can really sing.

-You can put a child to bed, but you cannot make them sleep or stay sleeping.

-Kids can make huge mess out of the simplest meal such as a PB&J sandwich or a bowl of cereal.

-The color white should be avoided.  At all costs.

-The loss of a child is something that you will never get over, even if you are only 4 weeks pregnant.

-You will say completely crazy things to your children.  Those things that your mother said to you.  You will claim to have eyes in the back of your head and you will ask them if they live in a barn.  Mostly you will threaten to pull the car over right this very moment.

-Sleep deprivation will make you crazy,  but it won't kill you.

-(While breastfeeding a newborn) You will be nothing but a feed bag 24/7 and pumping will make you feel like a cow.

-You will do many things you said  you would never do

-Whatever annoying things you did to your parents....your kids will do to you. When you try to get sympathy,  your mother will laugh.

-Cleaning up after your children is like being trapped in the movie Groundhog's Day.  No matter what, it just keeps happening over and over.

-Being a mom makes your body messed up, your head ache, your mouth swear and your feet hurt.

-NEVER underestimate the healing power of a good cocktail (or two or three) at the end of the day.