The Bachelorette

Yes I love reality tv.   One of those shows is the Bachelor and the Bachelorette.   Personally, I think the whole concept of the Bachelorette is so stupid.   I think that women are desperate enough to go on a show to compete with 24 others for the "love" of one single man.  Now, men are disappointing me everytime they have a season of the Bachelorette because I just expected more from them.   

This season has my jaw on the floor and the first episode isn't even done yet.   It is worse than any train wreck I have ever imagined.   The guys that are coming out of the limo are seriously warped.   I can't help but think that ABC is playing a cruel, cruel joke on this pathetic girl that they call the Bachelorette.    One guy emerges wearing a mask like he is the main character from the Phantom of the Opera and she gives him a rose.   Seriously?   Don't you think that maybe he is hiding something?   Super creepy.    Another guy immediate tries to kiss her and she backs away from him.    One guy ties some pink dental floss around her fingers (because she's a dentist) and more than one lift her off her feet.   Another guy's name is West so he gave her a broken compass, of course it's permanently stuck on west.  Gag me.   Don't even get me started on the dude that is so drunk that he passes out at the cocktail party and is snoring on the balcony.   At least she was smart enough to send him home before the party ended. 

I think the main problem with the Bachelorette is she just seems naive.   She is soooo sickeningly sweet and happy all of the time, to the point where you just don't trust her.  I'm sorry but nobody is that happy all of the time.   What won her the ultimate stupidest girl on the planet award was with her last pick for a rose, Bentley.   A former contestant called her up to warn her about this guy, that he was not here for the right reasons and into his arms she runs.   I feel sorry for the guys that really seem upset that she let them go, how embarrassing is that?    They definately picked some winners this time.   Can't wait for episode #2.

House Hunting Update

House Hunting Sucks.  I hate it and so does my husband.  Plus, you add three children into the mix and that just makes it unbearable.   I swear we have looked at so many houses that our kids now think that "Bob" our realitor is reallly their grandpa.  Last week we found three houses that we like.   Last night we narrowed it down to two; one I love and one Trevor loves.    Here are the two choices:

House #1

This house is about 1/2 mile away from where we are renting now so Olivia would get to stay in the same school and on the same school bus.   It is in a development on 7 acres.   Most of the acreage is behind the house and a lot of it is swampy/marshland but both of the lots on either side of the house are empy.   It is the first lot on a cul de sac.   This house is what they call a four level split.  You walk in the front door and there is a huge room for jackets and shoes on the right and then the door to the garage is off of that which is so nice.   On the main floor to the left is the kitchen and dining room which is nice but the flooring in both rooms are very cheap.   There is also a smaller living room on the main floor.   If you go upstairs there are three bedrooms and two bathrooms (one is a master bath with a whirpool tub).   If you go downstairs (off the main floor) there is an unfinished walk out basement.   The walls are drywalled but it would need flooring and we would probably put one or two bedrooms and a bathroom down there in that space along with a family room/toy room.   If you go down one more level there is another basement with the mechanics of the house.  In that room they started to put up a wall to make another bedroom down there since there is a window.   So, ultimately this could be a 5 or 6  bedroom house with three bathrooms.   The nice thing is, we can make this totally us and once it's done, it will be an amazing house with a ton of space.   The yard also needs to be gutted and completely redone and a deck needs to be built off the back of the house.   Since the house is at the top of our price range, we may not be able to do everything right away.  This house needs a lot of TLC since the people who built it moved in and we think were really never able to afford it, they stopped caring pretty fast.   Total square footage once it's finished would be about 2500-3000 square feet.

House #2 

This house I will admit is everything we said we did not want.  It is a split level in a subdivision.   But, it is a HUGE split level house with a big foundation so not everything is squished together like in a lot of splits I've seen.   You walk in and there is a huge entry way with plenty of space and a big closet on one side and then the door to the three car finished garage on the other.  You go upstairs and there is a kitchen, dining room (with a 12x12 deck off it), living room, three bedrooms and two bathrooms (one is a master bath).   It has beautiful hardwood floors thru most of the house and everything is brand new.  It is also a foreclosure but the investor totally gutted and redid everything.  The kitchen is absolutely beautiful with birch cabinets and stainless steel appliances.   If you go downstairs there is a HUGE family room with a fireplace and a walk out with a patio poured already.  There are two more big bedrooms and a bathroom along with the mechanical room.   The yard is much smaller in this one, it's about .61 acres but the lots behind the house are huge so  the houses in the back are very far away.   The houses on either side are like a normal subdivision and are close by.   This house is completely move in ready and only needs some landscaping done.   It is also 10K cheaper.   Trevor is concerned because the driveway is very sloped and he is worried about plowing it in the winter and the kids riding their bikes down it in the summer.  Plus, there wouldn't be any place for us to use our Polaris Ranger.  

I am frustrated because while we were at the second house, Trevor was ready to make an offer on it immediately.  But, as we drove further and further away, he started to lose interest.  He hates subdivisions and the thought of people seeing what he is doing annoys him to no end.  I hate to be isolated and have been almost my whole life.   I want to be in a neighborhood where there are people and kids for my kids to play with. 

I am also frustrated because I called the mortgage broker to get our pre approval letter ready to submit so we could make a decision and make an offer on one of them and there is a small issue.  Last month when Trevor went to Arizona for work, someone stole his and 2 other guys that he works with credit card numbers  and maxed out all their credit cards.  This person got both Trevor's corporate card and his personal card.   It has been cleared up with the credit card company and taken care of, but they haven't reported to the credit bureau yet and on our credit report it is still showing that Trevor has two maxed out and over the limit credit cards bringing his score down 2 points under what we need to qualify for a mortgage.  SERIOUSLY???  So, basically, we have to wait until the credit card company updates the reporting system for his credit issue to reverse until we can get our pre approval letter.   In the meantime, both of these houses could sell right out from  underneath us and we have to start all over again.  

Waiting is not something I am good at, in fact I am the worst person in the world at waiting.  So, we shall see what happens.  Trevor called the company to ask when they update their reporting and they said today so we are going to wait and pull the credit again on Friday - hopefully it's fixed.   I just can't believe how much damage some jerk can do to a person's credit just by stealing their credit card numbers.  

Speech Therapy

So as you guys who read my blog know, the Beast is currently in the process of being evaluted for Early Intervention.   It is mostly because at 16 months he still isn't speaking any "real" words and has some behavioral issues that concern me.  

Last week he was evaluated by the Speech Therapist.   While she was here, The Beast showed a little bit of his "true colors" which I hate to say, but made me happy.    The Beast is very happy when he is around other people; when we are at MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) or at a playgroup he is happy and sweet.   When we are at home and it's just us, he is miserable to be around.   I really hate to say that about my own child but he is.    It stresses me out and makes me really high strung.    He is crabby about 75% or more of the time and acts like his is frustrated about something.  Anyway, while the speech therapist was here, he did his thing where he came up to me wanting to be held but when I picked him up, he instantly pushed me away and started to whine and cry.   When I put him down, he started rolling around on the floor in a terrible tantrum.   I can only imagine what this woman thinks of me because I was so happy and I begged her to write the behavior down in her notes.   I was so relieved that someone saw it because I feel like nobody believes me.  

Today, the Occupational Therapist came out with the Early Intervention Coordinator.   We had the occupational therapist come out to have him evaluated for something called Sensory Processing Disorder.  Right away they informed me that he did qualify for speech therapy.    I think that he did really well today but they had to go back to the office and score his test results.   I really don't think he'll qualify for Occupational Therapy because of course he did things for them that he would never do for me but of course that is ok, in fact it's great that he is doing it at all.    They had him stack blocks, try to do a puzzle, turn the pages in a book and some other things like that.  I will find out the "official" results on Wednesday. 

I guess I don't know how to feel about it.  Part of me is relieved that he does qualify because I wasn't over reacting or wasting someone else's time and energy but part of me is sad too.    Of course the question: Is the Beast stupid? goes thru my mind but thankfully I have enough sense to know that is true.    Another part of me wonders if it's my fault because he came so early.   (In case you didn't know, Noah came 7 weeks early but tried to come 10 weeks early)  Everyone wants their child to be perfect and never have any issues so it's a little scary to know for a fact that he is behind other children his age. 

So, maybe this will help us find that missing puzzle piece that we cant seem to find.    Here's hoping....

  I often wonder what other stay at home moms do all day.   I feel like I never do anything.  In fact, I spend a lot of time on my laptop playing on facebook or looking for houses.   Do I sometimes feel guilty about how much time I spend on the computer?  Yes.   But, being the mother of a beast doesn't give you a lot of time to do whatever I need to do.    My child is constantly getting into trouble if I take my eyes off of him for a minute.   If I try to do dishes or cook something he will come in between me and the cupboard and push me back so I can pick him up.   If I ignore him, he just screams and pushes harder.  Then, he hurries up and gets behind me so when I back up to do something I trip over him, knock him over and end up picking him up to comfort him anyway.   I'm telling you, this kid is probably way smarter than I will ever be.    
  I am convinced that the Beast spends most of his days thinking up ways he can torment me.   For example, ever since he was born he has been a screamer.   He doesn't just cry, he cries and screams until you think his head is going to spin.   I tried every single pacifier in the world just praying he would take one and learn to self soothe himself but he would just spit them out.    I finally gave up on that idea.    Two days before the speech therapist came to do his evaluation, he was playing in his toy box and found one of his old pacifiers.   He picked it up, looked at me and put it in his mouth and it hasn't come out since.    Sigh.  This is the time when I should be weaning him off the paci and he decides to take it now?  He already doesn't say any real words so the fact that he has a pacifier in his mouth certainly isn't going to help that. So, now I'm torn, do I let him keep it and  he stays quiet or do I take it away?  
  He also has amazing timing.  Usually just when I am about to lay my  head down on my pillow and fall into a much needed slumber, that is when he wakes up for the first time each night.   As I have said before, he still wakes up multiple times during the night for a 4 ounce bottle.   He even knows math.   I have tried an experiment before.    One of the times when the Beast woke up I got him a 3 ounce bottle.   He drank the bottle, threw it across the room hitting the other wall and screamed bloody murder.   I went down to the kitchen and got 1 more ounce and brought it up to him.   He drank it and fell right back to sleep.  
  I can't wait until he is in high school and I can embarrass him and spend my time thinking of ways to torment him.   Paybacks a bitch right?   lol

Olivia Nicole

On Saturday my baby girl will be turning seven.   Never in my life did I think that at the age of 33 I would have a seven year old, let alone a four year old and a one year old plus be a stay at home mom.    Anyway, this blog is about Olivia so back to her.  

I know that I am a little biased but I happen to think that I have such a gorgeous, amazing little girl.   She is so wise beyond her years which can be a good and bad thing.   Olivia is a fantastic big sister who is always taking her little brother into her arms to try and calm him down when he is upset.   She tries to teach Jackson everything that she is currently learning and is so caring towards animals.

Olivia was a little more like our Beast when she was a baby.   She gave me a lot of scares while I was pregnant with her.  I had just come off of a terrible loss, we lost our first baby girl in the second triamester and got pregnant with Olivia immediately after.   When I first got the call from the nurse at the clinic about the blood test I took, I heard the words "You are pregnant but......"   The nurse said that my progesterone levels were so low that we shouldn't get our hopes up that she would make it.    But, she did, the next time I was tested, the levels were going up just the way they were supposed to.   She knew that I couldn't handle another loss and needed her as much as she needed me.  That's Olivia, she is so considerate of everyone else's feelings.    We joke that she is going to be the first female president one day because she is so politically correct all of the time and will tell you what she thinks you want to hear so she won't hurt your feelings.

My little girl also came early - about 4 weeks.   My boss at the time told me that she needed a few days off, the 11th and 12th of May so I could have my baby anytime after that (lol) and sure enough, Olivia waited until May 13th to send me into labor.    It was the finale of Survivor and I wasn't about to miss it for anything.    I told the drs not to come in until after Survivor was over, my favorite player of all time, Rupert won the America's vote for one million dollars so after that happened, they came in, broke my water and Olivia Nicole LaJoye was born at 3:26am in Rochester Hills, Michigan weighing in at 7 pounds exactly.   She was born with a temp of 104 and had fluid in her lungs so immediately she was whisked away to the NICU.  It was so scary, my first baby and I didn't even get to see her right away or hold her since she was in an oxygen bubble for the first day. 

Olivia loved her pacifier, her bottle and her "ducky" blanket, a blanket that she still uses to this day to snuggle and console her when she is sad or upset.   She had an adorable little voice and was obsessed with The Wiggles.   She would call her grandma "Manga" and her dad "Treasure" (his name is Trevor) and didn't like it when anyone called her anything other than Olivia.   If you tried to tell her she was cute, she would look at you very seriously and say "No, my name is O-wee-a A-Joy".  She was a little troublemaker too, I remember that one day when my husband was out of town I was painting and Olivia was happily playing in the other room.   I turned my back for a second and when I looked she was sitting in the paint tray playing in the paint talking to herself.   Another time, I ran to the grocery store and when I came home, her daddy had fallen asleep on the couch so I went looking for her only to find her slathering our long haired cat Delilah with Desitin.  When she saw me, she looked up and said "Butt Medicine"....how do you not laugh?   Poor Cat.  

She is such a fun girl to be around that she always has a ton of friends where ever she goes.  With her, moving is not a problem beause I know she will be fine.   She loves to dance and is not shy.  Currently she is into coloring and art projects.   After a year of begging her to try and ride her bike without training wheels and her refusing, the other night she picked up her bike and taught herself how to ride it and in 15 minutes was cruising up and down the sloped driveway and down the street.   She is a mini female version of my husband.  So, my baby girl is turning 7 on Saturday and the years have just flown by - I feel like it was just yesterday that I was waiting for her to come.   Happy Birthday to my Olivia!!

We are Having a Safari!

So next Saturday my beautiful daughter Olivia turns 7.   When I asked her what she wanted her theme to be for her birthday it was a toss up between Justin Bieber (yuck) and a Safari.   Finally, she decided she wanted a Safari theme.   I know that in the past I said that I was going to "tone down" the birthday parties but how can you not go all out when you are having an African Safari Birthday Party??  

I am praying for good weather - warm and sunny because everything I have planned is for the outdoors.  I am screwed if it rains because I have nothing planned inside nor would I even know what to do.  Her party is from noon to three pm and here is what I have planned.

-We have an amazing yard with 5 acres.  On the land we have ATV trails going around the property.  So, my plan is to hide "Jungle" animals (aka the kids stuffed animals) in the trees along the trails and  then my husband will take 4 or 5 girls at a time on the Polaris Ranger thru the trails to go on a Safari to find them.  

-I bought these adorable rubber ducks dressed as safari animals from http://www.orientaltrading.com/ that I am going to hide around the yard and give the girls clues to hunt them down.

-We have a fire pit with a nice seating area so I thought that we would have a bonfire with S'mores with our pizza and cake.

-I bought zebra pinatas (2 of them) that we are going to hang up in the sunroom and let the girls go to town smacking around.

That combined with cake and opening up presents should be a fun time and a memorable birthday party for Olivia.    The RSVP's keep coming in slowly but surely so I think she'll have enough girls there to make it fun.

Thing's I've Learned Being A Mother

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of you who are mothers or have been mothers or are about to become mother's.    I hope you had a fantastic day and got a little break.  

My day was pretty great.   My husband got up with The Beast at 6:45am and I put my earplugs in and slept until 10am, those three hours made a world of difference.   From my husband and The Beast I got the newest James Patterson book, from Jackson I got a hanging plant for outside and from Olivia I got a flower that I can plant outside along with many homemade things from school and Girl Scouts. 

In honor of Mother's Day, I have compiled a list of things that I have learned from being a Mother.   (I didn't come up with all of them on my own but they are all good and funny)

-There are bodily fluids that are more disgusting than poop.

-Despite all those promises you made while pregnant not to bore other people with endless talk and pictures of your children, you will

-Wine and Double Stuffed Oreos are an acceptable dinner 

-Sometimes you will lock yourself in your car just to enjoy the silence

-Alone in the car, with only your kids as an audience, you can really sing.

-You can put a child to bed, but you cannot make them sleep or stay sleeping.

-Kids can make huge mess out of the simplest meal such as a PB&J sandwich or a bowl of cereal.

-The color white should be avoided.  At all costs.

-The loss of a child is something that you will never get over, even if you are only 4 weeks pregnant.

-You will say completely crazy things to your children.  Those things that your mother said to you.  You will claim to have eyes in the back of your head and you will ask them if they live in a barn.  Mostly you will threaten to pull the car over right this very moment.

-Sleep deprivation will make you crazy,  but it won't kill you.

-(While breastfeeding a newborn) You will be nothing but a feed bag 24/7 and pumping will make you feel like a cow.

-You will do many things you said  you would never do

-Whatever annoying things you did to your parents....your kids will do to you. When you try to get sympathy,  your mother will laugh.

-Cleaning up after your children is like being trapped in the movie Groundhog's Day.  No matter what, it just keeps happening over and over.

-Being a mom makes your body messed up, your head ache, your mouth swear and your feet hurt.

-NEVER underestimate the healing power of a good cocktail (or two or three) at the end of the day.

Daisy

I have a cat.  Well, I actually have three cats but when we got rid of our house and started renting my family members took two of them.  I got stuck with Daisy.  Don't get me wrong, I adore her and she's adorable and so sweet but she has a problem.  Daisy has two bad kidneys and so she gets chronic Urinary Tract Infections.   I take her into the vet once a month to get a shot to keep them under control but she still has accidents on more than one occassion and it's getting old fast.   I have been doing the shots and medications for years thinking that she was never going to survive this long, how can she?  She has two bad kidneys.   Daisy is only 7 years old and looks like she is in the perfect health.   However, if you leave something on the floor like a shirt or towel, she pees on it.   She never pees on furniture or carpeting so it's always easy to clean up but it starting to become a major pain to me.    The kids are constantly leaving their clothes on the floor or a towel or their blankets, etc and the cat pees on them.    She also pees on plastic bags left on the floor. 

I feel so terrible for even thinking about putting her down but I have enough to deal with already having three kids and a house but to have to clean up after a cat too?   The kids adore her and she sleeps with either Jack or Olivia every single night.   The Beast loves to terrorize her and sometimes I swear he is trying to say "Daisy".    I just cannot justify putting a cat down who is not suffering but I am suffering.  My husband hates animals and didn't grow up with them so he of course has been saying "Kill her" for years now.   He has absolutely no compassion and that doesn't help.

I just don't know what to do anymore.  I don't have the strength to do it but I know in my heart I need to.   I have had her longer than I've had my kids in my life.   It is so hard.   I just feel like this might be the last thing that puts me over the edge.

I am a bad American because I refuse to celebrate that someone died.
I am a bad Mother because my kids stress me out.
I am worthless because I am a Stay At Home Mom.
I am obnoxious because I am Outspoken.
I am unintelligent because I make Spelling Mistakes and don't debate.
I am stupid because I watch Reality Tv.
I am lazy because I am not a size 3.
I am a bad wife because I am exhausted by 5pm and all I want to do is sit on the couch in my pajamas.

I'm sure the list could go on and on.   But do you know what?  I DON'T CARE.   These are all things that I'm sure many people think about me.   I know who I am and that's all that is important. 

Last night when it was announced that Bin Laden was dead I was more concerned with the fact that they interupted Celebrity Apprentice.   Sorry but that is true.  I didn't care to see the hour of reports before the President spoke.   I am not a fan of the president, I won't pretend to be and I don't have to be, that is my right.  I have my reasons and they are MY reasons, I do not have to justify them to anyone.   Just like there were many people who were not a fan of the last president, I did not  call them stupid or bash them personally for their opinion but last night  I was personally attacked for my opinion and for expressing it.    Even worse, I was personally attacked by a family member who claimed to "care".   I would never post something on someone's facebook wall attacking them for what they think or believe just because I did not agree with them, but that's me.  I just find it disrepectful. 

I do find it funny how all of the people today who are upset that last nights news became an "Obama bashing" because those are the SAME EXACT people who were busy bashing the last president when they didn't care for him.   Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.  

Anyway, I am stupid and unintelligent so I really don't know what my point to this blog is, I guess to just get something off my chest.    I will not apologize for who I am or what I think.   You think people would respect someone who has a brain of their own and is not afraid to express themselves.   As my brother in law stated who spent time in Afganistan, "I gave most of the hearing in my left ear so that you can have and express your own opinon even if it doesn't agree with mine. I urge you to continue to speak your mind. as I will never stop speaking mine".   So, my point is, if he doesn't seem to have a problem with it, why should anyone else?