My daughter once came home from school in tears because she had her first "embarrassing moment". It was kindergarten so I really didn't think too much about it but she was really upset. It turns out she wore her pants backward one day to school. Someone noticed and pointed it out. Olivia is a lot like me, we are control freaks and we like to be in control of every situation, no matter what it is. She hates to be embarrassed. So, to make her feel better, we called family members and asked them something embarrassing that happened to them. She of course turned on me and asked me. I started to laugh and asked her, which one? I am super clutsy and have fallen in public many times, burnt myself in random places with the curling iron, etc. Since I'm being brave here, I will share a few of my "Most Embarrassing Moments" with you all.
- When I was in college I was in Phi Sigma Sigma sorority. Anyway, a few of my sorority sisters and I would go to a local bar on Monday nights and line dance. Line dancing was cool in the late 90's so we were hardcore line dancers. Anyway, one of our favorite songs and kind of a private joke in our sorority was the song "Strokin'" by Clarence Carter. If you know the song, it's not exactly the most PG song out there. Anyway, one Monday night we were out dancing and the song came on in the bar. We all ran out there and started dancing. About halfway thru the song, my left knee shot out in the most horrific pain I had ever felt (well in that point of my life) and I instantly fell to the ground. All of my sorority sisters thought I was laughing so they just kind of kept dancing and pointing and laughing too. After a few minutes of me convulsing on the floor, they realized that I was hurt. It turns out that I had to go to the ER because my knee cap popped out of joint. Nice hey? I was in a brace for weeks and it took a lot of time to heal. Like that wasn't embarrassing enough right? The next week, I went back to the bar to kind of show the owners that I was ok, all I could do was sit at the table all night but it was still nice to get out. Then, the DJ decided to play the song "Strokin'" and dedicate it to me, Lisa, the girl who last week Stroked it a Little Too Hard. Yeah, now I'm known as the girl who stroked it too hard. LOL
- In High School I went to a pig roast at one of my friend's houses with my group that I hung out with. The guys decided that it would be funny to try and scare people with the head of the pig. Well, I happen to be the lucky one who was seated right underneath the window in my friend's bedroom when they threw the pig head inside the room. I remember feeling the curtains move above my head and then something heavy land in my lap. I looked down to see two beady little eyes staring straight at me. I screamed bloody murder, I don't think I have ever screamed so loud in my life. I had a f*cking pig head in my lap - wouldn't you scream too? I still remember that moment so clearly and shudder. I have a severe fear of pigs because of that moment. Then, for the rest of my senior year, the guys thought it would be funny to tape pictures of pigs to my locker.
-When I met my friend Jen, I was 7 months pregnant with Jackson. My pregnancy with him was awful, I threw up everyday and was on two bags of IV fluids every two days just to keep my energy up. I had such a hard time eating. But, we decided to meet for lunch right after we met (at my husband's company Christmas party) at the only restaurant in town. Right in the middle of eating my sandwich, I had the urge to throw up. I got up and ran to try and make it to the restroom in time but I didn't. There is a hallway right past the hostess that leads to the restroom. I made it past the hostess and vomited all down that hallway, all the way into the bathroom. It was horrible, it was everywhere. I was so embarrassed to 1) tell the hostess that I threw up all over the place and 2) go back and sit down to finish lunch with Jen covered in vomit. She was so nice about it and we are still friends to this day. But what a way to make a first impression hey?
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